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Help Me Decide!!

Discussion in 'Working Women' started by Halosandwings, Jul 13, 2019.

  1. Halosandwings

    Halosandwings Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi.. I need some inputs from mothers who work/worked 8 to 5 jobs in US. 2 years back I took up a new position. I took this job soon after my little one was born. My current job pays for the work I do and the time I have to spend. I chose to take this job so my husband and I can stay together. I have been in this line of work for 7 years and I love the work. But this job is becoming not so enjoyable these days. In my previous jobs, I would work a week mostly days and occasionally nights. I would be off for the next week. I liked the schedule as it would give me time to visit my husband every other week. In my current job, I have to be at work during the day (usually 8 AM to 8 PM) and also take calls during the night. It was much hard on me than I thought it would be. My little one is a poor sleeper. Now at the age of 2 his sleeping better but sleep disruption is still there. My husband on the other hand loves the job here. I am currently working with my management to see if I can do 8 to 5 work on my off time (New role in the organization). My plan is to start slowly in my off time and if this picks up I will transition to the new role full time. But I am having second thoughts if it is a good idea or not.


    Pros of my current job

    1. Management is not very particular about hours. On weekends I can go late and can come home if there is no work.


    2. As I spend every other week home, I spend enough time with my little one. I was there when he took his first steps, when he first went down the slide etc.


    3. I don’t have to take a lot of time off to travel. I sometimes travels with my husband when he has work related trips or if my family is visiting from India.


    4. It give us me enough time to cook and take care of other household stuff. I take care of majority of the stuff at home like car maintenance, paying insurance, bills, taking little one for appointments, talking to CPA to file taxes etc. My LO used to have physical therapy, occupational therapy, speech therapy appointments. We may have to start speech therapy again.



    Cons of my current job


    1. I may have to stay past 8 PM depending on the work load.


    2. I do not get sleep at night when I’m working. Unfortunately I cannot fall asleep after taking phone calls. Sometimes I stay up for hours together. It is somewhat better now as the child is sleeping through the night. It was much worse in the past.


    3. Occasionally I have to go back to my work place to address the issues. It may take couple of hours to get the issues sorted out.


    4. Pretty stressful work and hectic. Sometimes I come home to be with my little one. After he goes to bed I get up and finish the remaining work.



    Basically my job is high stress and demands more time. I don’t mind stress as I find the work rewarding. But I’m not liking doing work-related stuff at home. My little one is ready to give up his afternoon nap. For the last 2 or 3 months we have been making him take naps. Sometimes he naps that 4 or 5 in the evening. This will delay his bed time sleep. I am forced to do it as this will help me to feed him. I don’t think that this can last longer.


    Pros of 8 to 5 Job


    1. I can be home with LO early in the evening. He will have a better schedule.


    2. I will sleep better.


    3. I will have more fixed schedule and can incorporate exercise and might die of the routine.


    4. The work is going to be less stressful.


    Cons of 8 to 5 Job


    1. I wont have more time to spend with the LO.


    2. I won’t be able to travel like to do now.


    3. I will find it hard to find time for cooking, other household maintenance stuff.


    4. My new position is in a niche field. It will become hard for me to find future employment opportunities.


    If I transition, I’ll be earning atleast 50 to 60 K less than what I make currently. I will have more childcare costs. But I’ll be still making enough money to meet my needs. I’ll be paying off my mortgage in a year. The whole transition may take at least a year. So I will be extremely busy for a year. Then there is the possibility that the other job might not pick up very much. In that case I will be ending up doing other job 1 or 2 days in my off time and kinda get stuck. Finding new jobs is not easy for us as both of us are on visa and husband is in niche field. Though I look at both pros and cons, I feel there is more benefits in working 8-5 schedule that current schedule. I would like to have 2 more children (I am 36, there is no guarantee that it will happen) so I feel it would be better to transition. I would like to get input from other working moms. What do you think is a better schedule?


    P.S. : Women who considered that mothers with young children should not work please do not post here.
     
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  2. Ramyarc

    Ramyarc Silver IL'ite

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    If i were you i would remain in the current job. Every other week off is a huge plus. However if you think the schedule and stress is bothering your health then You should switch to 8to 5. But is there any guarantee that 8 to 5will be less stressful? Think about it.

    The way i will prioritize will be
    Good sleep
    Less stress
    More family time
     
    Radpriya likes this.
  3. Halosandwings

    Halosandwings Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi Ramyarc,


    Thanks for your input. The hook with this job is the one week off and it is needed to relieve the stress. Switching to 8 to 5 will give me better sleep and less stress. I am not convinced that I will have more time. Maybe I can negotiate 4 day work week for further pay cut. Currently my biggest expenses are child care and mortgage. Once the mortgage is paid off at least one big expense is taken care of while the other increases. I am frugal in some ways. So pay cut should still be okay. But is a lateral and somewhat downward move. I feel it’s hard to assess its effects on my career down the lane. May be it won’t be so horrible. Thanks again.
     
    Ramyarc likes this.
  4. MalStrom

    MalStrom Platinum IL'ite

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    If it is very important to you to have more children I would prioritize the job that will best allow you to do so. You have the rest of your life to earn money but your child will only be young once and your biological clock is finite.
     
  5. DDream

    DDream Finest Post Winner

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    If you can plan really well, then 8 to 5 job is the best option to take care of your family and kids in my experience ( I manage everything myself). It is easy to find day care options during that time. We need to have a schedule for kids, cooking , cleaning etc. I hope you get weekends to spend time with your family. If you like to have more kids, focus on that first, rest can wait. Think about your first priority now and plan accordingly.
     
    Last edited: Jul 27, 2019
  6. Halosandwings

    Halosandwings Bronze IL'ite

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    @MalStrom I would like to have another child for sure. If god willing I will have three, especially if the second one happens to be another boy. In the past I used to think I would have one biological child and adopt one or more. I found out that adoption is not a possibility on Visa. You are so right about the biological clock and I have lost a pregnancy in the past. In my line of work any break less than 6 months is okay but any break more than 2 years I can kiss my profession a goodbye.. Thats one of the reasons I want to continue work in the new position even if it is a downward move.

    @DDream I feel that there are some benefits in working 8 to 5 jobs that I might not be able to identify at this time.I still have at least a good to think about it. Let's see.
     

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