We have been living in the US for a long time. I tried and tried to do something with my career there and was unsuccessful due to the nature of my subject. Now in 2018 we decided to move back if I get an admission in a college here. It was a joint decision. My husband told me he will be compromising a bit with his career but it’s ok. I want an independent wife. Now I got an admission in a college, in the city I want (my place), in a branch I want.. he is freaking out. Agreed... it is natural. I am the only daughter and he has one sister and one brother. Both of which are going to settle is his city. And his parents are there too. I will be quite busy with the course work. And since I will be an old graduate I should put three times the effort to get back into the track and study.And I have an almost 4 year old son. As we were discussing about moving back. I told him I want to stay with my parents as it will be a lot of help and I need them to take care of my son. And I need their support which I won’t get with my in laws or my husband. I also told him that with my parents I won’t have the mental burden of taking care of the house with cooking, cleaning, and everything. He cannot provide the emotional and mental support I need. My son is also very very attached to my parents. He wants to take a house and get his parents with him. He got mad and says “I’ll never be a ghar jamai”.. like it a big crime.. I’ll never stay with your parents. Staying with his parents will only add to my stress levels. They are good people but I can’t depend on them like I can on my parents. And my parents also will be very happy to have us. He can ask my parents to help on any issues. But when it comes to living with them he has a problem.My parents have helped us so much during childbirth and after too when our marriage hit the bottom. Last year for the sake of my career I had to leave my son in india with them for 6 months and they took better care of my son than I can ever. They have been there for everything. They make me more happy than my husband. His parents..we asked them so many times to come to US stay with us. They did not come. They did not come after my kid was born when I really needed help. Always made stupid excuses. That thing aside. I am the only daughter and I want to be there for my parents. Not just some random weekend visits but everyday. I need them and they need me. Before our marriage I told this guy that I am the only daughter and I will have the responsibility of my parents. I will have to take care of my parents. If you are ok with it.. let’s get married otherwise not. He agreed to it then. Now when it actually is coming down to taking responsibility.. he is backing away. I don’t think I have the capacity to take care of the house and kid and husband and in laws and everything.and I know I will have minimal help from him. And he is not understanding. He is acting like an idiot. A typical Indian male who thinks it is crime to live with his wife’s parents. He has two other siblings and he is worried about his parents. And me being the only daughter.. he Is not understanding how much I want to be there for my parents.. how much responsibility I have. Just imagine if the genders were reversed and I was a guy... I would have just moved to my house my parents and my wife would have followed and society would not say anything. Just coz I am a girl I have fight my way through hell to stay with my parents. It’s ok for his parents to move in and I should give up my life my privacy and everything.. be the ideal “bahu”. But it’s not ok if the roles are reversed. He is acting as if I am separating him from his parents. That is not my intention at all. I want his parents too in the picture..my son should know both his grandparents. I gave him a solution- we have a one floor independent house. Let’s build another house on top of this. And let’s stay there. That way.. we will have privacy. Your parents can visit/stay for however long. And I’ll be close to my parents. He does not want to take that solution too. He goes on to say- I am making compromises in my career for you. First of all it was a joint decision to move back. I did not force him. Second of all-even I made sacrifices- we decided to have two kids and now he is backing away and I will have just one kid. I am sooooo sad about this.. I have bad baby cravings-but I am compromising on this issue and I don’t want to force him. It is supposed to be one of my happiest days and he destroyed it with the fight. And here I am sitting and writing this post at 3am having a mini panic attack instead of celebrating and being happy. And worst of all he claims- I am open minded,not orthodox, progressive blah blah.. all these years I listened to him.. did whatever he said. Never spent too much of his money. Coz I am a “fcuking house wife”.After all it’s his money and I am dependent on him. He said you will have equal rights in the house the day you start earning.. Now I’ll be earning(wil get a decent amount of stipend and good salary after I graduate)..won’t I have equal rights? Won’t I have equal say in the house? Am I being selfish and a bitch for wanting to stay close to my parents. I don’t know how to explain it to him. Just coz I am a girl all these issues are there.. please help me put across my points. I have no idea what to do. Any suggestions are welcome. Thank you reading this far.