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Help!! How Not To Be Bothered By Others Life??

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by angel12, Aug 28, 2019.

  1. angel12

    angel12 Gold IL'ite

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    Okey! !! So this may sound stupid.. But I don't know how to begin..



    I seriously need help and I can't talk to any near and dear ones.. So hope IL's come to my rescue. I don't know how I should not be bothered by what's going on in others life. A little detail..



    I was a happy girl.. All was almost going as per plan.. Hubby has a decent job with good salary (yet he always says he had more money) two kids.. Both very young and adorable. No issues here. Problem started when a person from hubby's office got h1b but hubby was neglected. I knew that person personally so even I was surprised how was he selected. Turns out he had a great rapo with the manager while my hubby is not "extra social" Type.. He does his work period.
    Not personal relationship with Senior. It's his nature so can't say much about it. Anyways that person without much "experience " is currently in US.

    Case 2- very close friends of our recent shifted to Canada on PR(both are over 40yrs) As per them they are doing it for their kid. Basically starting a new life at this age and leaving a very comfortable life here along with their aged parents. Just 2months after they shifted their father passed away. But I don't feel they ware much bothered about.

    Case 3- again very close friends went to us on H1b 4yrs back. The person joined the US client and soon will be applying green card or shift to Canada. It's when they don't even try for going.

    This all things combined I feel everyone close to us is moving to abroad and has a better life. I don't know why we never get a chance. Why is we always have to struggle for smallest things like buying a vehicle or buying a house/selling a house while others get it without much ado. It bothers me to core to think nothing good is happening (in terms of settling abroad)
    I feel all these people took the decision to go for their kids and we are not capable Enough to do this for our kids.

    I keep thinking about it a lot and it is affecting my. Mental n physical health. It's affecting my relationship as well.

    Sometimes I think we are worth nothing but at other times I feel we should stay in India, close to our parents and enjoy the comfortable life which me n my husband built without anyones help.

    I really wanted to share this. Please tell me how. Should I not be bothered with others settling abroad. I am just not able to ignore it..

    Tia
     
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  2. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    There are zillion people including me who would like to be in your shoes.Live our life in India and be with our close friends and family.Money is the only driving factor keeping so many people abroad.You have a good life,adorable kids, financially fine and most importantly you are HOME.Honestly,I envy you.you are blessed.
     
  3. SpringB

    SpringB Platinum IL'ite

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    OP,
    Grass is always greener on the other side. What makes you think abroad life is better ? There are so many threads here that says people can’t work because of visa issues or unable to get back into workforce. Few other threads say how they miss their home their people and all the luxury of maids drivers or home cooked catered meals or kids growing without grandparents or missing friends that make them depressed etc etc.

    You can see your glass as half empty or half full. It Depends.
     
  4. angel12

    angel12 Gold IL'ite

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    I totally understand. I have lived in Kualalampur for an year. I know how difficult it was without friends and family. But as you said money is the only motivation. I feel if we move abroad may be the kids will have more in terms of facilities and option as compared to india
     
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  5. angel12

    angel12 Gold IL'ite

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    It always is.. I have lived in kualalampur for an year, so I knw the struggle and we still managed to save and free our house in India. My only concerned if for kids. I don't know if I am doing enough for kids or if they would have a better studies and better career option abroad as compared to India.
     
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  6. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear OP
    Distance always lend enchantment. But One has got to be pushy to reach the other side. To learn yo be pushy you should have proper association.that would determine your learning to be pushy to take steps to achieve and accomplish your goal you got it I suppose.
    Regards.
     
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  7. SpringB

    SpringB Platinum IL'ite

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    Many parents abroad think that raising kids in India gives them better control as kids abroad grow independently. I am not saying one place is better than other but it’s not easy anywhere. It might look like they have better opportunities abroad but that comes with a cost too. Yes if you get an opportunity go abroad but to think only kids growing abroad have better options is not correct. Do your best wherever you are. Kids will flourish
     
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  8. Anusha2917

    Anusha2917 Finest Post Winner

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    Op did u apply for PR? If your husband didn't get an opportunity to go from his office, apply for PR and go.

    Do you know after how many attempts your friend got that PR?

    All I can say is keep trying till you reach your goal. It maybe one/few more attempt/attempts away. :blush:
    When you want something to happen get to action in doing that and focus only on your goals. They maybe facing a different set of challenges all together which they are conveniently hiding from outside world.

    Let it take how many ever attempts for you. Try to introspect what better you can do the next time.

    Things will fall in place. Good luck.
     
    Last edited: Aug 28, 2019
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  9. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    :hello:The present Google boss salary in crores per month is product of Indian school not internationally or nationally famous. How do you like
    that? He is nurtured from his playable age in this low profile school of Chennai.
    Thanks and regards .
     
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  10. AppuMom

    AppuMom Silver IL'ite

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    OP , life abroad has it's own challenges.But if you dream to be in foreign land ,look for PR..As you grow older chances of getting pr is low.Why to compare your life with others ? Pursue your dreams..
     
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