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Help For A Troubled Married Life. For A Man Who Loves His Family In Toto.

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by KrishnaSri, Sep 18, 2018.

  1. Topaz49

    Topaz49 Gold IL'ite

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    What if things don't change even after he makes this difficult choice? where do you go from there? Now he has to maintain two houses and his DW should take care of the household chores if she is not working.
     
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  2. shravs3

    shravs3 IL Hall of Fame

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    May be She wouldn’t be having much problem since she can do things according to her wishes
     
  3. nakshatra1

    nakshatra1 Platinum IL'ite

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    It's always a difficult choice to distance from parents . But as u yourself have said
    And I agree wholeheartedly with u about sharing financial responsibilities and chores fairly . Maid is required if three people are staying, to avoid conflicts . If wife is separate from.mom, maybe she will take well to home making with her new found freedom.
     
    Last edited: Sep 21, 2018
  4. shravs3

    shravs3 IL Hall of Fame

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    I’m not supporting keeping OP’s mom separately since she is alone.
    But first he can try hiring a maid and then check how the things are going.
    If still worse then all 3 can sit and talk calmly and decide accordingly.

    Here I feel Husband is sandwiched between wife and mother . If he supports one the other gets hurt.
     
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  5. nakshatra1

    nakshatra1 Platinum IL'ite

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    I agree , even I feel krishnaji should try to keep all 3 together as his mother is alone, and reach a compromise . If he had a duplex or adjoininjg houses or something like opposite facing house , he could have done but seems not feasible in this case. Many have suggested maid , appreciating wife more and giving her freedom , I think these are great starting points that will help him take care of both wife and mom under same roof and have peaceful family life for them and his kid .
     
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  6. SinghManisha

    SinghManisha Platinum IL'ite

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    More than the chores the mom and wife hate each other. He might not even need a maid if they are separated. I totally foresee what happens if they live together with a maid. Krishnaji will come with a new post “ help for a troubled maid who hates the family Toto “ .
    why should his mother too suffer all the jhadoo paucha drama day in day out? Why not give her the opportunity to have some peace of mind in her older age ?



     
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  7. KrishnaSri

    KrishnaSri Bronze IL'ite

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    You have a great sense of humour @SinghManisha ji.

    Had a great laugh at my expected future thread.
     
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  8. KrishnaSri

    KrishnaSri Bronze IL'ite

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    I have an younger sister, married for 8 years with two kids. Only 1.8 years younger than me.

    She is my go to person to share my troubles. She gives me good strength and much needed encouragement in tough times.

    But here I am receiving very good advice from experienced sisters, mothers and guides. View points may differ slightly, but I am getting great advice.

    I regret why I have not posted an year early.

    In fact I have my fair share of mistakes in my marriage life, I am now working on.

    Started reading"Men are from Mars and women are from Venus" 15 days back.

    Really a big thank you for your selfless help. My this post is not an end. This can be an interim thanks to all mentors. Truly Feeling blessed.
     
    Last edited: Sep 21, 2018
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  9. poovai

    poovai Platinum IL'ite

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    OP,

    Here is a suggestion, from what I saw from my family.

    Both my brother and SIL are working; they have 13 years old, twins 5 years old. My SIL does the cooking before leaving by 8am and rest of the day, my mom manages maid / kids in her absence. By 6pm, my mom is off duty to do her own world of neighborhood news / gossips and TV.

    For a change, find a job for DW, it may solve lot of issues. It will be good for her, to see how rest of the world operates:weary::weary::weary:. She will start to enjoy home, more. Sometimes, it is good to mingle with other adults. If you spend too much time inside the house, it will bring frustration and picking up a raging war with others for no reason.
     
    Last edited: Sep 21, 2018
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  10. KrishnaSri

    KrishnaSri Bronze IL'ite

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    gem of an advice @Laks09. Will refer to this frequently and I will implement. Thank you.
     
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