1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice

Help For A Troubled Married Life. For A Man Who Loves His Family In Toto.

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by KrishnaSri, Sep 18, 2018.

  1. SSkiran

    SSkiran New IL'ite

    Messages:
    8
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    1
    Gender:
    Female
    Sorry to ask this here . i am not able to post new thread. what to do tht
     
  2. nakshatra1

    nakshatra1 Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    930
    Likes Received:
    1,526
    Trophy Points:
    263
    Gender:
    Female

    My post is very clear that it doesn't accuse u of encouraging phone tapping but about labelling her when clearly not labelling him for larger more.seorous faults, and how it can have more serious consequences for her than she is already suffering ...

    And u can just answer me directly , just like I've addressed u without needing to address as sir or "madam". So much Honour- not really required , thank you ! I can clarify to u whether it should be sir or "madam " but not really required is it ? Afterall I give my unbiased views not colored by my own gender biases.... so....
     
    Last edited: Sep 21, 2018
  3. troubledmom

    troubledmom Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    285
    Likes Received:
    355
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Female
    Haha but I like to madamsaar
    You were too quick we cross posted See my post again
     
  4. nakshatra1

    nakshatra1 Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    930
    Likes Received:
    1,526
    Trophy Points:
    263
    Gender:
    Female

    Exactly I said we should not label.anyone mental. Not him . Nor she .

    I have given my suggestions .
     
  5. nakshatra1

    nakshatra1 Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    930
    Likes Received:
    1,526
    Trophy Points:
    263
    Gender:
    Female
    OK, good for u !! Haha
    But I dont like to madamsaar so I'll just let it pass for now .
     
    SinghManisha and shravs3 like this.
  6. Topaz49

    Topaz49 Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    537
    Likes Received:
    593
    Trophy Points:
    188
    Gender:
    Female
    I was also appalled at the response.
    Nothing in this world justifies your DW's action towards your child. You need to document or even tape it by telling I am taping this to your wife before taping. If you record by letting them know, it is legal.
    You have a genuine reason to worry about your ILs because they have given reasons to believe that they can interfere and cause problems.
    Your DW thinks being a wife entitles her to behave whatever the way she chooses.
    Marriage comes with responsibility. In today's world the roles are overlapped. Being said that she should try to work and contribute to your income if that can keep the conflicts at bay. Krishnaji, I am sure extra money would not hurt you in any way. Right? If she does not want to work, she has the responsibility to take care of the house just like you have the responsibility to work and provide for the family.
    If one does not want to leave maternal house they can choose not to get married and be a baby at mom's house. Otherwise, she needs to grow up. Being a wife is not an entitlement and it does not require you to throw your mother on the streets. Follow through your plan with 2 separate houses and give your DW a chance to become a loving wife and mother.
     
    KrishnaSri likes this.
  7. Topaz49

    Topaz49 Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    537
    Likes Received:
    593
    Trophy Points:
    188
    Gender:
    Female
    Good luck, if you think maid is going to resolve the problem. On the contrary, it will only give more time for coming up with new conflicts.
    Marriage is a partnership and being a wife is not an entitlement to do nothing.
     
    Sri2196 and KrishnaSri like this.
  8. Topaz49

    Topaz49 Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    537
    Likes Received:
    593
    Trophy Points:
    188
    Gender:
    Female
    First of, I like to say that when you do out of love, the question of sacrifice doesn't arise.

    Secondly, it is not a cycle that is passed on generation after generation. If the DIL is educated and recognizes the changing society, especially, if her MIL's behavior made her feel bad, all the more she would try not to walk in her MIL's footsteps. There is also generational gap. As is you see how much things have already changed.
     
    nakshatra1 likes this.
  9. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    7,663
    Likes Received:
    23,148
    Trophy Points:
    440
    Gender:
    Female
    No,it will not solve all their problems because all three have major issues to deal with.
    But almost all the incidents( except the child slapping ,) that the op has cited are ones that can be avoided by getting a third person to do common jobs.

    The suggestion is to remove the current major irritant and then make decisions along with the wife too.

    Don't see why you need to smirk at a genuine suggestion to the op keeping the welfare of all three members in mind.

    Unlike you I have not passed judgement on the various players in the issue and am trying to give small positive inputs that may help the three get some kind of a break from the current major crisis .
     
  10. nakshatra1

    nakshatra1 Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    930
    Likes Received:
    1,526
    Trophy Points:
    263
    Gender:
    Female
    This is very important point you have told.it applies to both men and women .I like that u have given OP the idea of separate houses... progressive thinking .We should take care of our parents in older age when they need it , but definitely to get married both men and women need to move out of mom's house and become independent .When they are physically active and it's our initial few years of married life , we can take care of them without living in same house ; but once they get older and need our physical help and medical care , then we should live with them and take care of them .

    I would like to clarify krishnaji is mature and trying his best to solve this issue so I don't mean he needs to grow up , but people in general.I admire his concern and sense of responsibility towards his mom.
     
    Last edited: Sep 21, 2018
    yesican, KrishnaSri, Laks09 and 3 others like this.

Share This Page