Dear strangers. I'm not sure how to start this ? I had been a silent reader since the beginning .i used to read the problems and always thanked God for giving me a wonderful life . I never thought I will be posting my problem in here. I had been married for 17 yrs .have a wonderful parents,siblings,in-laws ,2 wonderful kids and a loving husband . My husband is wonderful guy he gives me my space and I'm very independent to do what ever I want to do.we had been married very early (19&25)and moved to s'pore .we grew together .from beginning we discussed and took decisions about any small thing ,I used to advise him and support him in his decisions ( I'm confused whether I should say used to or still am). Then we moved to USA .we have my DH masi there so that helped us a lot,it made us settle and adjust to that country and made it our home very quickly.made wonderful friends .masi started telling us to buy a house because renting is waste of money ,since it was one income we started saving money though masi said to borrow money from parents and in-laws( they r well off so)my DH never agreed to that and saved money and bought our first home after like 6yrs I was Soo proud of my husband . After few month I realized he was more careful about his phone he was giving it to my kids to play but when I wanted it first he used to take it check and then give me so I started feeling some thing is wrong so one day when he was sleeping I took his phone and checked so there was a message from some lady saying "GN hug hug kiss" that's it I was shocked and couldn't believe what I was seeing,I did not sleep whole night next day when he was in shower I dared and left a message "GM" She left a message too "GM" I immediately deleted the messages and confronted him And told him to show his phone when he showed it there was a big message from her ( he still did not read that ) saying I'm sorry for last night I should have not done so u know how possessive I'm about you with me .when I asked him about that he said she works for his company from different country and he got mad at her because she did not finish some work he screamed at her( he never ever scolded me or any one not even bad words or loud voice )I got Sooo angry I lost it but still he was cool and told me no nana pls believe me I did not do any thing wrong she is just a colleague and she treats me like a friend , he also called her told her not to message or call her that was our first big fight I lost it for like 1 full week I fought with him ,screamed at him but stopped talking to him I became crazy I loved him so much but he cheated me it was not physically but he did ( I believe hiding some thing from spouse and talking to other person is cheating) .but later on he convinced me ( I did not believe him or still don't ) but I love him so much I kind of excused him . Then we moved to India for good .we left our house to myDH masi to take care and moved .my parents gave us a flat to live as gift which helped us a lot to settle down in new place quick .he joined a good company with good position and with in a yr we also started new business ,he was working for his company and I was taking care of ours.we had a understanding that I'll take care of our company till it needs his full time and until then he will take care of two. Every thing was going on ok then one day I was searching for our USA house on line and boom I saw it on foreclose list I called my DH and he was confused too and he said he will look in to it and immediately next day house was out of the foreclosure list .he told me payment did not go from bank on time so that happened I believed him.then after couple of month I searched again and it was on market for sale and that too with few basic renovation done I got Sooo mad at my DH that he did not tell me that big thing again silent no answer for 1 week I was like crying and waiting for him to tell me why he did not tell me that ( he tells me every small thing like he got upset stomach and ask me every thing like "that item is not here should I go there ") but no answer after very big argument ,shouting, crying ,pleasing he told me that he thought he will tell me once the house is sold and why to tell me and me asking him what happened all the time .I did not believe him I thought house is gone because of not paying and that's why he did not tell me ,but no he stuck to his words he told me that house is given to bank and they will sell it take the agent fee and renovation fee and give us the remaining amount . It has been like almost 11/2 that the house was sold and closed but still did not get any money when I ask him about that he gets mad at me and says we will get it why do you ask all the time ,but he does not have their number or they don't have ours when I ask him he says I'll I'll all the time don't know why he does not care about the house which he worked so hard .im fine even if it's gone i told him that too but I just want to know what happened but even today he says we will get that house money . Mean while we saw a flat here in India and planned to buy it but those people wanted some amount cash so my husband convinced me saying that we will take loan on this flat(parents gift) and give it as cash I was ok with it because my parents also told its ok then went and took some loan on this house and mean while some thing went wrong did not get that flat so he put that amount in bank and told me will keep it for short time till we buy another flat and we did not like any thing and all that USA house episode happened and I completely lost trust in him so told to transfer that loan amount to my account he did and showed me the bank papers .now it has been 2yr i had been telling him to pay of that loan and I don't want to loose my dads gift he is like I'll I'll and few months back I got a post and it read that the house is going for auction and again another shock I called him and he told me it's misunderstanding and he had been paying interest regularly and don't know what he did .i every day tell him to pay that off he is like I'll I'll and I also came to know that it's not just my account its joint .when I ask him he gets real frustrated he doesn't like to talk about that topic only thing he says is I'll .recently he told some tax story but still want him to pay this house loan. And yesterday I got another post and it read that he had taken a loan and he did not pay interest and need to pay immediately now .we don't have any financial needs or real loans don't know why or what he is doing with the money .I'm Soo done with him I really don't want to ask him any thing because it's very very tough to get any thing out of him and don't want to here any stories or want to be convinced . I love him so much and am very protective about him and he loves me too and very very protective about me he never yelled at me or physically hurt me .all my family members loves him and respect him and he does too. I completely lost trust on him but blindly does not want to accept that or want to loose him but am Soo depressed,Situations are Soo confusing am not understanding what to do?? It's not about money it's about trust .can we live just with love and with out trust . You guys my be thinking that "he does not have to tell me everything "ya if it was like that from beginning may be I would have been fine with that but even now he asks me every small thing but hiding big things which is making be go crazy .