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Have you ever stayed faraway from your DH

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by pandusk, Jan 8, 2010.

  1. pandusk

    pandusk Gold IL'ite

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    Hello ladies,

    Have you ever stayed far away from your hubby(I mean he working in a different country or place and you in a different place), if so for how long were farway and for what reasons..Isn't the life miserable when you are not staying with him.. Please share your thoughts.

    Pandu
     
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  2. lavii

    lavii Gold IL'ite

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    touchwood no
    we both are working
    and got very good oppurtunities outside but fear of staying away made us quit such good offers
     
  3. Cool1

    Cool1 New IL'ite

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    Yeah..
    I was staying away for 8 months.This was right after my marriage when he was in Kolkata and I was in Bangalore.It went on for 8 months till I put my foot down.By God's grace after that we have been inseparable and enjoying life.
    Reason was my job since nobody wanted me to quit.That life is really sad.I used to make my husban'd life hell.More so because I culd not bear to see him happy without me.He was with his entire family.Sometimes intentionally I used to trouble him and I have no regrets about it.
    Though things are smooth now those days were really bad. He wont understand my problem and vice-versa.Fights over the phone over trivial issues.All these used to irritate me so much.Now I feel I can live with less amenities in life but I never want to stay away from him.
     
    Last edited: Jan 8, 2010
  4. pandusk

    pandusk Gold IL'ite

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    Hi Lavii,

    Lucky you..Oops Touch wood..
    I wish you both stay together forever..
     
  5. pandusk

    pandusk Gold IL'ite

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    Hi Cool1,

    Thanks for dropping in..good that you troubled him..

    I have been staying away from my DH for almost 1 year, just waiting to join him..me in India and he in US..at times even i get bugged up with this life :rantand feel really down..hoping to join him soon..may be in couple of months..
    Just wanted to know if any one you are sailing in the same boat

    Thanks,
    Pandu
     
  6. StaarBearer

    StaarBearer Senior IL'ite

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    I was told to travel to US alone for 3 months, just after 1 1/2 yrs of marriage. I made all excuses including health related funda but never worked. I had to leave my wife for 3 months and this with our birthdays falling in those 3 months duration.

    Things started going bad when I went to a california for Christmas holidays. My Wife stopped talking to me, never wished me on my birthday etc until I came back. However, the flowers I sent to her on her Birthday through a friend did impress her :D
     
    Last edited: Jan 8, 2010
  7. roopahari

    roopahari New IL'ite

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    Hi Pandusk,
    I know what it is like. My Husband came back to US a week after our marriage, and came to know he lost his job immediately after landing here. I was in India. He decided to stick on in the US looking for a job for 10 months. In the meanwhile I had a lot of trouble with my in laws, and almost contemplated a divorce. He came back to India after 10 months, with a ton of loans and no job:)
    Thankfully that period in life is over, and that experience has made us stronger.

    I hope everything falls into place for you soon.
     
  8. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    pandusk,

    I am in a long distance marriage for the past 4 years. I stay in india with my kids and FIL and my DH works abroad. infact it was the title of your thread that made me drop in.

    I had blogged on this and even scribbled a little on it.

    Oh it is a little difficult situation. and my phone bill is the witness to it. though it is 16 years of marriage, it is still difficult, but sometimes we compromise for certain things. in our case it was family. he comes in twice and we go once but it is not enough.

    I wish you join your husband soon.
     
  9. neha1

    neha1 Silver IL'ite

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    YES:-(
    i was in india when my husband was in US.this was for 3 months after our marriage. trust me that period was hell:hide:. i would never recommend anyone to be away from spouse for a period more than 2 weeks or so..... in our case, the reason was his project was in US and i had my job in india....so,we were hanging on... it was really too much for us...and before our marriage too we were away for 6 months...ours is a love marriage... so,i missed him even before our marriage.... my phone bill used to be Rs. 3000-4000 per month....and same way,DH also had big phone bills...we made up for lost time by talking one hour per day....
    now, we are both returning to india soon and he wants me to go to india to search jobs for myself first...but,i have refused sayng i can't be away for long:bonk ...so,we will be moving back together itself....

    since you are in a long distance relationship urself, u too know how it feels...and if its for a short time like a month or so then i would say just enjoy it ... no one likes spouse (husband or wife) to be gone.... so,think of it as adjustments required for career/family or watever the reason might be.... engage urself by catching up with more friends/family/relatives.... or reading books ...etc...
    but,if u r wrkg in india and u want to join ur hubby on h4 in US then it will be better u search for jobs in US and then come..... life on h4 for a previously working woman can b tuff...or else take leave from ur compnay and travel on and off.... if ur hubby is anyway planning to return to india soon(within 6 months or 1 year) then i wud suggest dont leave ur job... if ur hubby is planning to settle in US then plz join him ASAP... my 2 cents....just felt like giving u this sugg....plz do not mistake me and think why im advicing u....so,plz disregard my sugg if u do not like it...
    all the best...

    Neha S
     
    Last edited: Jan 8, 2010
  10. welcome

    welcome New IL'ite

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    Hi,

    i was away from my DH for 3 yrs. i was by myself here trying to settle down and he was in india. We used to meet every 6 months.
    he comes for 1 trip and then my turn. Its ok to be away when you know what you want in life and clear about your goals.
    Now we are together. we have been married for 16 yrs. this happened after our 10 yrs of marriage.

    welcome.
     

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