H/ Roommate? Please Help Me To Understand

You can not live a life like this you will eventually break down, loose interest in life, become irritable and start developing negative feelings against everyone. It is better if you try one last time to give him a final chance to change or it will be better if you start your life fresh.

 

You are the best one to decide what you want in your life- continue this way or build a life of your own. When no one helps, god helps. Believe in yourself. You have a kid - be positive for him/her.

But living this way, in a highly stressed environment, is not good for your health or good for your kid. I am sure every time you see dh you get that negative feeling in your mind. If he is not a 'husband' you dont have be a ' wife' or even maid. He dont deserve any service. There is a great chance that you feel dead inside. It is not good as it can create negative aura around you. That may affect your interaction with other as well, even your kid.

It is better to maintain a minimum communication with dh, than not any, as it reduce stress to some extent. Talk on common topics related kid or home as long as you are staying with him.

Dont allow him to control you. I dont know were you are living. But try to interact more with other people, try to spend more time outside home. Try to learn something new like dancing/ yoga/ anything like that.. (yoga and meditation help a lot with mental stress), learn driving. Divert your mind from him. Focus on your job(never leave it) career, manage your money & your life etc.. by yourself. Try to dress and look beautiful. You have every right to be independent to the level you want. But you have to very careful that your relationship affect your personality in a negative way. Be very positive. Tell your self that you will be positive no matter how others behave to you.

 

This is a good thing try to be independent as much as possible, also get a makeover and create your own friends circle and see if he is competing for your attention

 

he is absolutely correct. Sorry this hurts but you cannot live without an adult emotional and physical connection all your life. saying you live for children is easy when they are young. but kids grow up and they have their emotional challenges which they sometimes do not want to share with you .

 

'Competing for your attention " - that time you have to behave as if he don't exist.let him feel jealous. Lookalike he is very possessive

I don't know how easy it is this way to live your entire life. If you plan to continue this way, you need to show him you are good without him through your life/action.. try to build positivity in whatever way you can...Nurture yourself well, take care of your health and beauty.

Google "the 180 plan ". I recently came across it, it's context is different. Still I think some points may help to move ahead.
Take care .

 

Hi Op,

Hats off to your patience and understanding level.

The solution to your problem lies in your statement.

First things visit a doctor and see to it you get out of your depression.

Make new friends, improvise your looks and get yourself a good make over, join a Gym or Yoga classes.

Since you are working mom join some mom's group or office ladies group and Socialize.

Just encourage or entertain those activities / persons, which makes your husband feel to compete / jealous. Just Ignore all your husband tantrums and insecurities.

Good Luck and be happy and remember you are the best........