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Goodbye Amma Dearest

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Agatha83, Jul 4, 2019.

  1. Greenbay

    Greenbay Finest Post Winner

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    Emotional tribute. Losing mother is always hard. Whether she is young or old. Because mother can fill anyone’s role but no one can take her role. Time assuages the pain but it doesn’t fill the void.
     
  2. Agatha83

    Agatha83 Finest Post Winner

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    Thank you Greenbay for your thoughtful, compassionate reply.

    Agatha83
     
  3. PushpavalliSrinivasan

    PushpavalliSrinivasan IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Agatha,
    Sorry to hear the demise of your dearest mom. My heartfelt condolences.
    My mom departed from this world at the age of 93. She died on Telugu New Year day. Being born and brought up in Tirupathi she used to celebrate ugadhi and as my mil had also was brought up in Tirupathi she also used to celebrate ugadhi.
    The day she departed at 8 O' clock in the morning she called and told that slowly her body was becoming numb and she would not last long and so she wanted us to have our lunch. It shows the real love of a mother towards her children. Even on her death bed she couldn't tolerate her children to starve for a few hours.
    Though I have done whatever I could do to keep her happy, I felt it was too little for what she has done for us.
    PS
     
    satchitananda likes this.
  4. saileela85

    saileela85 Bronze IL'ite

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    tears do flow from my eyes when i read this..sorry to hear this
    may her soul rest in peace and give strength to you and your entire family to overcome this.
     
  5. Agatha83

    Agatha83 Finest Post Winner

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    Dear PS,

    My mind would have been peaceful if she had died peacefully. Most of the time she was incoherent, unable to express what was bothering her. Doctors dismissed the symptoms as one caused by poor blood circulation, lack of oxygen and dementia. Seeing her lying most of the time in her soiled clothes was a traumatic experience for me.
    That’s why guilt feelings always nag me, due to my inability to reduce her pain. Thank you very much for your thoughtful words of comfort, which comes like a breath of fresh air while suffocating.

    Agatha83
     
  6. Agatha83

    Agatha83 Finest Post Winner

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    Thank you saileela for your kind words.

    Agatha83
     
  7. SunPa

    SunPa Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear Agatha,

    My sincere condolences.

    I didnt have the courage to read your post the past few days. I finally did read it today, with tears streaming down my eyes as I walked with you, thru your words.

    My dad was diagnosed with Alzheimers early this year, I can begin to understand the pain, the frustrations. I know I have a long way to go, just getting to grips the path this will lead to is overwhelming. Not long ago, I raised my voice at him in frustration when he refused to take medication , and later I apologised, I told him to not keep in his heart my harsh words . And you know what he said - "nee yen nalladuku daane solerey. Enaku varuthamma eliai, ma. unga yellarukkum kashtam kudukiren , adu thaan yenaku varutham" . (You are telling for my own good, I am not hurt. I am giving trouble to you all, that is what is hurting me).
    It is hard for me, it is harder for him , I know but it is difficult to be rational and calm all the time. We err, but we are forgiven.

    You did your best, even if you keep feeling that it wasnt enough, it was , and most importantly she knows , she knows you love her, and she loves you as you are. So celebrate the good memories, the wonderful loving mother she was , that is what she would have wanted you to do.

    Hugs
    Sun
     
    Last edited: Jul 15, 2019
    Agatha83, Afresh and satchitananda like this.
  8. Agatha83

    Agatha83 Finest Post Winner

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    Thank you SunPa,

    For
    Desr SunPa,

    Thanks for your poignant comment. My mother initially was diagnosed with Potts disease, Tuberculosis which affects the spinal column, for which she underwent treatment under one of the best neurologist in a leading hospital for almost a year. her health deteriorated slowly in the course of years, which in turn started affecting her mental faculties.
    More than the patient it’s the caregivers who have to be mindful of their health, because both me and my DH had to be under medicines for high BP, stress etc.The patients can never understand our state of mind or our health conditions when they cross the border line of Alzheimer’s disease. So may God give you the courage and strength of mind to take care of your ailing dad.

    Agatha83
     
  9. Vidya24

    Vidya24 Gold IL'ite

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    Who decides on art? By art, I mean art in its full spectrum, from painting to writing to cooking to any tangible expression of the mind.

    Who decides if a Waterford plate of baked yogurt with saffron is better than a steel katori of homemade yogurt?

    Who decides if Monet's waterlilies are better than my son doodles on the living room wall?

    Who decides if a Versace ball gown is better than the nightie stitched by the corner street tailor?

    We do, I do. And in that power vested in me, reinforced by the fact that at one time,along with a good friend, I handled The Finest Posts:

    I with all my heart say that this is the finest post I have ever read. Each word is written holding your heart in hand, dipped in love.

    Sister, you the best
     
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  10. Agatha83

    Agatha83 Finest Post Winner

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    Dear Vidya,

    I am happy that I am blessed to meet one of the oldest moderator of this forum, which I never expected and was quite a sweet surprise. I am also touched by many IL’s heart warming support reflected through their poignant comments, some of them which moved me to tears.
    But I am still sad my mom couldn’t understand my deep affection for her till the end. Thank you Vidya.

    Agatha83
     

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