Good Old Days...

What I love about weddings is that we get the opportunity to meet the cousins
( second cousins, third cousins etc. etc. )whom we have not met for ages and recall with nostalgia the occasions we had been together - like summer vacations at our grandparent's homes , for one. Palatial homes with garden, enough trees to climb, cowshed with healthy cows yielding thick creamy yellow milk...ah.. for those days.
What intrigues me today and makes me feel sad is the commercialization of weddings.
I spring back to the early fifties when we three sisters were kids and we would attend our innumerable relatives' weddings. Many of the weddings would be performed in the houses. There would be big pandals( shamiana) erected in the compound...a process wonderful to sit and watch. A false ceiling would be fashioned out of yards and yards of white cloth and paper. Coloured tracing papers, crepe papers and glittering jigina papers would be bought by the reams to make garlands .The glittering silver on one side and red or green or violet or yellow on the other would be cut into tiny squares..each, placed in the centre of the palm and pressed into cup shape with the blunt end of a pencil. These would be stuck in circular pattern on the roof of the white roof of the shamiana and on the pillars .

The most artistic ones in the family would undertake to draw kolams( rangoli ) with wet rice flour paste. These would be large and very very beautiful to look at . One or two obstinate kids would cry demanding some liquid paste to work/ play with , thus providing background music.

Folding wooden chairs would be brought in for the elders to sit and for the rest, brightly coloured carpets ( jamakkaaLams) would be spread down on the ground.Some over enthusiastic young cousins would corner a few chairs folding them and carrying them to form a circle or two jamming their fingers in the process. A toddler would stubbornly try to fold the chair and scream his head off as his finger would get caught between...the mother rushing in and giving him two slaps on the back( as if the pain the kid was going through was not ample ).

A few days prior to these, the house would witness the arrival of the special ladies who prepared sweets and savouries. Invariably, they were called MuRukku Maamis !!There would always be aged aunts or uncles- toothless- who would demand half fried murukkus so that they can enjoy eating them without hurting their gums.
Oh Weddings were such fun !!

The kids would wait with great eagerness for the fixing of jhoola for the wedding's morning function and there would be fights for the seats on the wooden plank. To swing back and forth while devouring sweets, clandestinely ' stolen' from the kitchen or store room.

Hectic activities would go on in another pandal erected in the backyard, where cooking would be inprogress!!

Well I could go on and on..

Today's weddings have no such hassles..yes.... they are considered as hassles now.

The wedding halls come with all amenities. All you need to do is exercise your fingers to write out a cheque. Men would arrive in clean uniforms to cook the feast in the massive kitchens of the wedding halls. At times, the food would be prepared elsewhere and brought in vans to be served. There will be charming young girls who would take care of serving coffee, tea or various juices.

In nicely printed paper bags, the sweets and savouries if any are readily packed and arranged at the entrance to be distributed to the exiting guests.

What saddens me in our South Indian weddings these days is the absence of a few nice rituals...like Nalungu in the afternoon before the commence of the Reception. It used to be such fun those days.

We used to apply the freshly ground mehendi paste three days before the wedding.. a lovely event at home. I still recall the day day I sat in front of the huge grinding stone and made a fresh paste of mehendi leaves for my niece's wedding.
One would wait like the bride's maid to feed her - as her hands and feet would be ensconced in the paste . And as if by nature's cue, her back or nose would need to be scratched .
There would always be a sense of anxiety or uncertainty as the groom's eccentric aunt or uncle or even the mother would create some havoc on a very simple issue!!!

The grandmothers would fervently plead with their family Deity to have the marriage go off peacefully without any fights till the Mangalsuthra gets on to the bride's neck! Yes.A one rupee coin will be placed inside a small piece of white cloth soaked in turmeric and left in the pooja room for this purpose. Bribing the family deity so that the "tying of the three knots" takes place without any hitch.

Now, Event Managers have taken over the arrangements and there is not much personal worrying. Once a ' fat ' cheque has been deposited with these people, it is all a smooth go !
But where has all that excitement vanished ?

 

Thank you very much Satchitananda for the long response.
This is my first post here and I wish to keep my grey cells active ( as of now, these grey cells have a lot to say and they are howling to be let out ! Forgive me, my language, my sense of humour is sort of incorrigible !! )
Yes...those days may never come back. Relationships have also started whithering !! Everything has become like " Instant Food."
I am looking forward to reading to your experiences ) Thank you for the encouragement

 

Thank you Amica
I am happy to see that you can relate to this. Yes, nostalgia is something we all live with. May be that is our Vitamin / booster shot to carry on
Shall post another Wedding episode soon

 

Yes Klasya
Memories and nostalgia are comforting factors these days !!! Thabnk you for reading