Good husbands do exist!

He is weird I am weird but both our minds are wired for each other .:rotflHe is great and I am lucky to share my life with him.

 

Very good thread. I truly believe all husbands are good, but we will all have to wait for some time with full patience and confidence (which may extend upto even 10 years as monita has said) to see their good face rather their best face
I appreciate this thread as it is written very practically and i think 75% of husbands fall into the category described. I think with continued patience ( I wont say unconditional love from wife's side can transform any bad husband to good one as it may not be tangible to practicality in this fast paced world) every woman will definitely get to see the best version of her husband !!

 

It is a nice thread. Loving/caring, my DH deserves a salute!

It is 28 years of wonderful marriage life. First, 5 years needed lot of compromise - trying to understand each other, adjusting to marriage life, new baby etc. Also, toughest part of our life, stumbling through ourselves starting a new life/work in a foreign land. The only thing, I really hated at the beginning of our marriage was, instead of telling me, what I did wrong, he called my mother to complain about me. May be, DH could not tell directly to me, when I looked at him with my puppy eyes! We also, have 7 years of age difference. So, from the beginning, I have lot of respect for him, I don't question him any decision he makes (right or wrong), I do blindly follow him.

I remember, talking with my dearest friend, a week after the marriage, 'I am really afraid to look at him, he looks like a professor'. (She came from a large family of 6-sisters and the youngest one, yet to be married). She said, I have seen enough of my sisters marriage life, oh! the professor will not be a professor at home! She was absolutely right. Still, I have that admiration, wow, he talks to me! (like a teenager) crush on him.

DH is very energetic, extremely clean, and never forces me to do anything that I don't want to do it. Very loving/caring person, shares household chores, takes care of everything for my son and me, and only kitchen is my department. Rasam is his favourite item of the daily menu. If I decided to be mean to him, all I have to is, no 'rasam' for him...oh yeh, DH gets the hint!

Friendly, yet, when he is angry/upset, all I can do is, just hide. I learned to deal with his anger, by leaving him alone for some time and he will come out as if nothing happened. As far as I could remember, he never apologised to me for the mistakes he made, either. As far as thanking me, showers me with gifts, sweets and chocolates, but not in words. Romance is lacking area for him (or doesn't show?), but I am like a bee around a sweet, when he is home.

One major hurdle, we still can't cross....he doesn't handle/treat my parents, fairly. Over the years, I just accepted the fact, it is not worth talking about it and feels like, there is a 'void' in my heart.

We know each other like a mirror. I am looking forward to growing older together with my DH!

 

Good husbands do exist! or we make the best one from what we have!

The reason, I decided to write about my life is, I see, some of the threads,
the young ladies are struggling to adjust to the new married life. Even,
nearly 3-decades ago, I did have the same problem. Because our parents
gave us the gift of education and that lead to 'independence/freedom in
thinking & skills, in any situation to take care of ourself'. Please try to
make the education/skills work for us, instead of making those skills work
against us.

Don't I know from the beginning my DH is egoistic, self-centred,
immature, stubborn/angry person, and trying to put me down?
Yes, I do know that, very well.

If you can guess, my DH is a product of prominent IIT from India
with the built-in ego that comes with it!

Ours is an arranged marriage and after the initial proposal, the groom
side decided to cancel the wedding. From both sides, harsh words
exchanged and my DH decided to move forward with the wedding
against his parents decision.

From the day of wedding onwards, my DH didn't want anything to do
with my family. Initial years of my marriage were shocking to me,
he is nice to me, but at the same time, blasting left/right at my parents
for every chance he gets.

If I cry too much, all my parents could say was, if you couldn't handle it,
just come home. My parents didn't even believe me, when I said, he is
treating me fine at the initial years of marriage.

In general, I am bit of wild person (hey, that was back in my days, it was nothing
compared to today) and with strong/aggressive personality. Turned around, my personality
at home to be a quite home maker and pretty much boosted his ego by putting him on
an elegant platter!

Bottom line is, you can accomplish a lot by being quite at home. Don't think, you
are suppressed at home. Just by giving up few arguments/fights, you can have a
successful marriage life. There is no need to cry, blame the DH, thinking the worst
case scenario of marriage life.

Just be patient, and learn to be a low key at home! It may work with your DH, too.

 

Freddycat - truthful, appropriate and deserving advice to women who read these forums.

 

I'm also blessed with a good husband. Of course he is not perfect nor do I. I see and feel the love he has for me with the things he does and says.

We do have fights occasionally, but we patch up immediately soon after that. I never stop thanking God for blessing me with my sweetheart as my better half.

 

HI friends im going to get marry on june its my privilage to share few things about my HUBBY as above said is right my hubby is also lovable and very soft person.im very lucky to get him as my hubby i love him a lotttttttt i love you dear.................

 

nice and another good positive thread . i m blessed with a nice husband myself.
he tries to support me every way. i lost my father few years ago , i was very attached to my father and i used to think the only man who ever loved me unconditionally was dad and was very angry with god for snatching my dad from me , i became a bitter person who kind of lost faith in god and then i met my dh , sometimes i feel god sent my dh to take care of me. he restored my faith in love and goodness and most imp the faith he has in me gives me strength and courage to go an extra mile.
someone once said even if u r not queen of ur husband but u will always be the princess of ur father but i can say i was my dad's darling princess and my DH beloved queen !
my prayers are that our love grows stronger by each day !
now he wants a darling little princess for us and we r trying and know god will bless us soon

 

Hi,
28 years of married life..great and congratulations!!
I am sure you ll have a lot to share in terms of your experiences and tolerances you have come across all these years.
Do write more on various situations you have handled both tough and light!!

 

Assuming that, most DHs are good gentlemen, and trust worthy, listening to (leaning on) your DH fully, may work in most marriages.

But, the total submissive kind of 'spouse' will NOT work in marriages. It could lead to EMA, abusive physical/mental torture, alcohol abuse, extended friends circle (partying kind), financial disaster and so on.

In case, if you are one of those 'I don't question' my DH kind, you need to have the check and balance put in place to take care of (protect) yourself. Loyal and trusting is good. At the same time, you can't be that naive and innocent to survive in this world.

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To describe myself, I am a simmam rasi (in Tamil astrology), a loner, can be non-emotional, strong/aggressive, leadership, are some of the characteristics.

I don't believe in astrology that much, but an interesting topic, particularly describing a characteristic of a person.

Even though, DH wants to run away from my family, it didn't work. Because, my parents raised my son for first 3-years.

My DH doesn't talk to my dad that much, DH keeps his head down and just, the formal talk in 'low tone', that's all. But my DH calls, my mom, akka (sister) and both butt-heads like crazy goats. They do talk nice most of the time, but ends up arguing a lot too. My mom is one of those 'unconditional love' to my daughter person, my girl is always right, and defends my actions, regardless whatever I have done.

My dad is a man of few words and very honest/straight forward.Dad is more of listener/observer than a talker. Dad advised me only few times. After few years into my marriage life of fights/arguments, I was bit shocked to hear the statement about me, when my dad got into the picture to advise me (it was about 3 years after our marriage).

Dad know us very well, than anyone else, right? (I am known for bullying my friends, sis/bro, cousins and easily, run over them). My Dad said, 'I know you, you are hard to control, always mischievous and hand-full. I pity that young man, God knows, how he puts up with you. You better listen to him, whatever he says'.

That advise from my dad made me think, and after that I changed myself to be a 'better half' and became a quite home maker (than a trouble maker). DH often says about me, 'you are a காரிய கிறுக்கு' (meaning, intentional dumb).

Always have a supporting network of friends and family. Specially, the one your DH listens, someone who could point him, his mistakes to correct him. We have a few 'trustworthy reliable' friends who knows everything about us including financial status. My dad has given my DH, 'I am watching you' message loud and clear from the beginning. DH knows me very well that if I decided to give him trouble, he stands no chance. Pretty much, DH knows that he cann't run or hide from the 'security' forces in place.

Remember, never ever, end up as DH is your only connection (in social life). It is not good. You need to have good moral support and always, keep yourself surrounded by people, you can trust.