1. Want to be a Positive Parent? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice
  2. If someone taught you via skype, what would you want to learn? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice

Going through teenage kid's not so regular problems.

Discussion in 'Schoolgoers & Teens' started by saheli, Mar 25, 2016.

  1. saheli

    saheli New IL'ite

    Messages:
    69
    Likes Received:
    4
    Trophy Points:
    8
    Gender:
    Female
    Hi ILites,

    Is it okay for 16 yrs old boy to masturbate? I am unable to convey my message to my DS & I don't know whether it is healthy for everyday. Talked with Pediatrician & still not convince & I don't know how to deal with & how to convey him for it's privacy factor. Please help me, I am unable to sleep in nights.

    Thanking you all ILites as always,
    Saheli
     
    Loading...

  2. hope2b

    hope2b Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    230
    Likes Received:
    192
    Trophy Points:
    93
    Gender:
    Female
    It's a tough one. Does he communicate other issues with you? This is a fragile age. Can your husband talk to him? Or is there someone, like an uncle to help him with his new found interest. As is, masturbating is not a crime or will not make him sick or anything. It's a passing phase. Guide him to some safe sex education material. Nothing to be embarrassed or loose sleep on. And don't be on his back if you catch him. Just let him know that he needs to practice privacy, clean his clothes, and if possible, he can talk to you/H for any queries.
     
  3. vani098

    vani098 IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    1,317
    Likes Received:
    1,559
    Trophy Points:
    390
    Gender:
    Female
    it is better that u.r husband r some other person how can convey them.
     
  4. vjbunny

    vjbunny IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    4,873
    Likes Received:
    1,809
    Trophy Points:
    315
    Gender:
    Female
    Its time that ur son and husband bond now n help ur son to grow out of it...
     
  5. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    23,653
    Likes Received:
    27,110
    Trophy Points:
    590
    Gender:
    Female
    Why not..why should your son masturbating be such a bothersome issue @saheli and believe me if you think this is not a regular issue, it means that you are in a world where you still think your boy is too small for all these. don't we all go through this phase.

    WE have our own yardsticks and thoughts .. a girl is starting her periods (10 or 12) her body is ready for sex, reproduction while there are no indicators other than mustache and voice change (though it happens in both boys and girls, it is more prominently noticed in boys..). sometimes not all changes are physically visible, there are late bloomers too. what i am trying to tell you is that at 16 it is quite natural for your boys to have the sexual urge. add to that the exposure and more. i am not going to debate on the health aspect of it. and i am not sure how you think he is doing it everyday.

    I did not understand the privacy factor..whether you mean that he does it in open, or whether he does not have a room of his own..sorry a little confusing. but if he does have his own room, and you have chanced on him at his act, then i think you should just back off and say sorry for intruding.. after a particular age it is better to know on the door before entering. don't we tell the kids that they have to knock on ours..

    I am not clear if you (i mean both parents ) have talked to him about the natural urges, healthy and hygiene part of this phase. and then the safety and responsibility part of sex.

    do not talk at him about masturbating.. talk to him about sex, and all that he may have the right or wrong information to boot. and yes do ask him to check educating sites and do discuss that all the **** that he sees may be misguiding him and you are more concerned about his safety and health.
    I Wanna Know: Sexual health and you

    and before that you both need to sit together, talk about how you want to take this up. please do not use make it feel that it is a sin or it is taboo, it will act as a negative booster. talk about it being healthy normal, and good feeling inducer, but with the right person and the right time. and that abstinence is the safest.

    communication is the key. the more you talk to him, without making him feel bad, shy or hurt (the body image factors a lot at this point, along with peer pressure) the more he is going to be at ease, making fun, talking about his feelings, and asking for pointers on how to move forward.. i believe we need not have the guide or manual or expertise, but being there, and learning and talking about it together and accepting that you do not know something but would like to learn together is the way forward.

    I would also talk about respecting the partners wishes and more as we progress forward..

    Remember your son masturbating is not a reflection of your parenting, it is a reflection of your son moving towards being an adult, a man..accepting that he is one is the first key to this problem if you think it is one..

    .it is not always the son and father, the mother and the daughter who have to talk about the bees and birds..the one who can comfortably broach it with the kids and be there can do it..and well if you are one of those parents who feels how will i talk to my son, how do i talk about this.. get him a good book that would help him, to show that you care, you are ok with what he is doing, but since you do not know how to broach the topic, you think he should read up on it, and discuss with you.
    Amazon.com: 100 Questions You'd Never Ask Your Parents: Straight Answers to Teens' Questions About Sex, Sexuality, and Health (9781596438682): Elisabeth Henderson, Nancy Armstrong: Books

    relax, and take a deep breath, and sleep well...
     
    asha_karthik and hope2b like this.

Share This Page