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Giving Away Daughter

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by bmaquarius, Dec 30, 2016.

  1. bmaquarius

    bmaquarius Silver IL'ite

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    Giving Away Daughter
    Life was simple when I was just a mom for 2 decades. It meant school fees, assignments, tests, texts, books, later on more books in college, tutorials, projects and finally a job.
    I heaved a sigh.....the worst was behind us.
    We worked hard to make a living like many others unmindful of the changes around. Life evolved. Scooter gave way to new car, a home, new appliances and EMIs never stopped coming I never knew when I greyed, the elders aged and friends moved away, some beyond recognition, kids around grew up, many flew nest and parents stayed in their old homes awaiting for Skype chats with children in distant lands halfway around the globe, and I plan for a secure future....
    Evenings meant rustling up a simple meal after a hard day, some prime time TV, fiddling with WhatsApp and Facebook, our virtual friend in the new age.
    Weekends meant more work.... extra cooking and clean up, stocking up larder, doing laundry, banking, and only to flop exhausted by Sunday noon.
    City weekend evenings mean mall hopping, our only indulgence with no parks, beaches, open grounds or green meadows to gaze upon open starry skies. All we got is the smog, endless traffic and neon lights. So entertainment is confined to air conditioned malls, PVR cinema, aimlessly checking discounts or offers, clicking random selfies, at times cheating on diet sneaking up the fast food meal of coke, fries, burger, gazing at the lit fountains, seeking 2 minutes of happiness before yet another week.
    Just as someone asked.....what's up aren't you getting daughter married. I mumble something vague feeling embarrassed not having thought about it before.
    Very soon things changed.
    One fine day daddy dear decided to take on the responsibility of a suitable alliance. And how do we do that in modern times and technology?? Confusing as it was, matrimonials came to the rescue.
    Wanted beautiful, tall, fair, slim, homely, shapely, qualified, working /non working /NRI/ matching stars, caste, status.... accompanied with exhaustive exchange of profile pictures. Soon we had a prolific collection of guys photographed at work and play, by the beach, hills, work stations parties and poolside. How does one make out a guy lakeside, beneath the hat, sunglasses and fishing line, is the right choice?? Mind boggling exercise.
    We plodded with verification and testimonials, and finally gods above seem to smile upon and a catch dawned on the horizon.
    Rounds of chai pe charcha, kharcha and trips followed by some fine tuning by elders, relatives, friends and foes alike pitching in to clinch the alliance.
    Next a fresh batch of work appeared. House needed renovation suitably and respectably, so fresh coat of paint aided by some few pieces of furniture, curtains and upholstery, additional mattresses, some crockery and untensils. Purchases piled and so did the bills. Someone said jewellery-minimum100 sovereigns is the going rate. A family in the backyard offered both jewellery and car. Bridal trousseau and jewellery, assembled, beauticians, caterers, decorator, photographer videographer, mithaiwalla, florist, maids- every service enlisted. Whoever said less is more. In fact everything was a little overboard ... you never know was the bottom line.....and hubby threw a fit every time the bills appeared.
    Someone wanted an event manager, choreographer and musical band, it's the latest. Soon mehndi, hen party, dance, music all followed in good measure keeping up the cheer and good spirits. The choreographer ruthlessly got old uncles, aunts, grand elders, children tiny tots to groove, sparing none in his enthusiasm. Every one took to the dance floor, trifle embarrassed, unused to public performance. Amidst all as expected skirmishes, grudges and grouses surfaced often. The grand old uncle complained he wasn't invited ceremoniously enough. We apologise profusely for the lapse. Senior aunt said she wasn't attended upon sufficiently, while bhabhi found the sari gifted to be dated stuff. Sorry. Some elders were irked for not having been consulted for the wedding discussions. Another unpardonable lapse. Sister in law trashed the dahi vada and payasams alike, not up to the mark, she could have suggested better cooks. Ought to be, since we hadn't considered taking suggestions. Again sorry. Mami sniggered the bridal sari was too expensive only if we had solicited her excellent guidance. We smiled on embarrassedly and let it pass. What??... only two payasams someone gasped- we had four for our's. Uncle complained his name didn't appear on the wedding card. We rushed with firefighting, ironing arguments, mollify bruised egos, soothing tempers, till we frazzle ours.
    And finally the Day dawned.
    Overbearing photographers, videographers captured dias fiercely and every one else was unceremoniously pushed away, audience barely able see the marriage proceedings, Zealous uncles aunts elders took centre stage amidst noise, commotion of clicking cameras, smartphones and flash lights nadaswaram prevailing in the background............ and we sailed through.
    Wink blink .....it was soon over and we give away our daughter.
    Am I happy?
    I don't know........I glimpse at my husband. He's looking into bank notification pings of bills debited.... may be relieved finally the madness is all over.
    Next morning guests leave, the awnings, twinking lights and festoons are taken down, coconut fronds pulled off the gateway, and flowers swept away and life was back to usual.
    Looking back it was some fun while it lasted...... I am not too sure. Some things you never know.
     
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  2. shifas

    shifas New IL'ite

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    Good work:blush:
    You will be happy only if your daughter is going to live happily and i wish her a very happy and loving married life because after all living together happily matters nothing else..
     
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  3. jskls

    jskls IL Hall of Fame

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    Wow wonderful narration. First congratulations on your daughters wedding. Glad and happy that all went well.

    I pray and hope just like the limitation of Gold possession soon there should be limitation for how much one should spend for a wedding. Should I be worried about the rising college fees or the wedding Expenses. I am scared now
     
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  4. bmaquarius

    bmaquarius Silver IL'ite

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    Thanks all... actually she's engaged soon to be married. I picked up threads from my own and experiences around me. It's the story of practically every Indian home
     
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  5. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    What a breezy narration! Beautiful.
    :) Indeed work always presents itself unbidden.

    :)
    Yes, some things we never know. And that is just as well.

    Was great to read. All about a wedding with scant mention of the wedded! :) Nice.
     
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  6. satchitananda

    satchitananda IL Hall of Fame

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    Hi BMA, beautifully written. I agree with jskls. I remember my sister's wedding in 1975 with the emergency just declared and the guest control order. I wish some such draconian rules are imposed on expenses and guest control to bring some relief to the parents of the bride. If it is imposed by the government, there can be no question of all these guest and IL nakhras.

    Can imagine what a busy time you must be having with all the preps. Wishing you a smooth ride and that all goes well. Wish the young lady a very happy future.
     
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  7. GoogleGlass

    GoogleGlass IL Hall of Fame

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    sometimes a rewind seems an accident that hapenned decades ago but as a parent they thrive their best to make it an unforgettable incident for their children, if parents are given an opportunity, these days.

    nice one bma.
     
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  8. bmaquarius

    bmaquarius Silver IL'ite

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    Happy new year and thanks again for the response and review. I enjoyed writing this one more so since it's been a very long time since I wrote anything .. Writing is my passion it's therapeutic.... an expression of finding oneself.
     
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  9. jayasala42

    jayasala42 IL Hall of Fame

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    A beautifully presented snippet.
    There is a proverb in Tamil" veettaik kattip paar. kalyaanaththaip pannip paar.( Build a house yourself. Celebrate a wedding.Then you will realise)
    Wedding experiences are multifold.Having lived among 25 cousins in a middle class family i know what it is.Today everything is done by contract.You should have money.You can hopefully entrust the job and concentrate on receivng guests.
    25 years back when we celebrated our daughter's wedding, we did it ourselves.By experience i know the list of groceries and vegetables to be procured and the order in which arrangements need to be made.
    But there may be certain unexpected events that turn up at the last moment.
    During my friend's wedding, the Chief minister was arrested and there was total band.There was no transport including taxis.except some 20 people who had stayed in the wedding hall the previous night, nobody attended the wedding.The contractor didn't reduce a single pie but he earned alot, since cooking was done only for 25 whereas he had charged for 300 people.
    In 2015 ,flood waters entered certain wedding halls in Chennai.They could not wait for the auspicious muhurtham.sapthapathi and mangalya dharanam were conducted at midnight and people ran to safe places to escape nature's fury.
    We used to pray lord vinayaka for smooth conduct of marriage without impediments.
    In 1945, during my sister's wedding it was war time.There was imposition of rules on number of guests limited to 50.'Whom to leave'was the greatest head ache.though every one was aware of the situation we could not avoid some misunderstanding within near circles.
    I wish the function all success.
    Jayasala 42
     
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  10. Balajee

    Balajee Finest Post Winner

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    Weddings are golden opportunity for everyone to throw their weight around and there are enough cooks to spoil the broth. Every tom dick and Harry wants to have a say and feels slighted if not heeded. Weddings make more enemies than friends.
     

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