I heard somewhere "when we were young we wanted to change the world and when we become old we want to change the young". I think from the time second generation of human arrived this fight of one generation from other had started and still not came to an end. Nor even there is some specific conclusion of why this happen. When we were child we wanted to play more and study less and felt that our parent should understand. After growing up we want our children to play less and study more and feel they should understand. When not married we used to feel that we will never have any ILS issues and after marriage it became a never ending problem. Many other things one can relate to this. What you people think about this. Will this ever come to some specific point or it will linger on to further generations too?
@MonikaSG According to me, this is a never ending problem. In all our enthu, as parents we try to mould our children and somewhere in that process, we suffocate them too, with too many conscious or unconscious restrictions. We do all with children's best interest in mind. Yet some gaping lacunae form in children's mind and many may harbour some resentment. When they grow up, they try to correct those lacunae but end up with some other kind of lacunae... This is a never ending process. Then there is also a huge gap between facts and fiction. Everybody's circumstances will be unique, when you are prepared for MCA, you would be asked to answer an MBBS paper! That's life....full of struggles and a lifetime is lost in only learning.... As Shankaracharya says, 'punarapi jananam punarapi maranam...'
Thanks for your reply. But that made me to think further that Why can't an older generation leave the newer one to have their own experiences or why can't newer one can accept whatever their older one tell them by knowing that they are saying everything with their experience?
EGO and immaturity in youngsters, EGO and over protectiveness in elders. I guess it is natural to some extent. Nobody wants to understand the other because of their own ignorance, insecurity, many unresolved feelings and hangups. Again personal freedom is dearer to all and it is not at all easy to surrender.
This can be achieved by a few things.. The parents and children involved should have.. Open communication. Mutual respect. Mutual trust. Balance. Children should genuinely feel that the parents are able to relate or understand the issue and give 'suitable' advise honestly without selfishness. Parents should let the kids make some of their own mistakes, understand their life n needs are somewhat different than their own and trust they have raised them right. My child, husband, n both set families, whenever there's an issue, I try to put myself in their shoes n think what would be right n then take decision or give suggestion according to that. N because I do that, they have faith in my advise / decision or else it may only cause conflicts. I feel when you start considering the other person's of point of view n advise / decide mutually, no matter the generation gap, they will be keen to listen. It can't work through dictatorship or if it's done as a power game.
Thanks for your feedback. Just to mention I asked you a question in curious kids too that you missed. I am saying this bcz I too find your words very considerable and said with maturity and was looking forward for your reply. For this topic I would say you are that much open and mature to look at others perspective. Can you tell why others are not able to do so. What is required to bring our self to this change where instead of being follower or adviser we can become a team and discuss various issues as you said.
Hi, Thanq so much .. do lemme know which one Maybe the problem is ego, power game, arrogance n selfishness. The thought of "I know everything" "what do they know?" "You MUST listen to me blindly" all causes problems. It may help when we stop looking at it as a race to show who's better or superior. There's really no win in this, esp within a family. I look at others perspective because I want them to do the same thing with me too. Also I feel that way they actually listen to you better because they realise that you really understand their situation n care about them n not just about what you want. Even my young child doesn't take someone's suggestions seriously if he doesn't believe that the other person truly understands his situation. I get to his level n explain that I do understand n if I don't, I ask him to explain it to me n then offer suggestions. I hate any dramas, fights - n this helps me in finding amicable solutions without turning a discussion into an argument. Takes a lot of patience, n we have to show that we are neutral n understanding.
Very true. I was looking at my life while reading your post. Everything you said is so true. May we too get that level of maturity to make our relationship better. I am able to do this to some extent but then there comes the stage when I start expecting this from others. But most of the time they disappoint me. Still try to control over my after reactions but 100% is still to achieve. For other query you can go to curious about kids thread or can check your old alerts of that thread. Thanks for replying.
