Gender Disappointment

Discussion in 'Pregnancy & Labor' started by shobraj, Jun 26, 2015.

  1. shobraj

    shobraj New IL'ite

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    Iam havinh lot of depression as I was disappointed with the gender reveal on my 20 week ultrasound .I have a 4 year old boy and expecting my second boy in November I was so wishing for a baby girl as I didn't have a good relation with my mother I had lot of bad memories I fhought I will get a girl and bond with the daughter .thoufh Iam ok sometimes I sunk into depression when I see people havinh one boy one girl .please give your words of encouragement and support.
     
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  2. tashidelek2002

    tashidelek2002 IL Hall of Fame

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    I worked for many years (long time ago) in an OB office. I saw perhaps thousands of babies and heard so many stories. Well, we get in our minds one thing or another but in life, it goes as it wants to go.....we have limited control on so many things. I heard stories of women who had a pregnancy just before menopause when they thought they were free of the responsibility, some wanted boys, some wanted girls....and folks were perhaps disappointed initially. Buy you know, we are given what is destined for us. All these stories and went that lovely little baby comes, you love it. And perhaps your little girl will be baby #3?
     
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  3. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    I understand you.However,these days gender does not matter.
    After a while they r all individuals and one has to let go.bring up a child by just " giving" love and not have too many expectations.

    A child be it a son or daughter will be close until they turn an adult.then it is a different game altogether.If u ask me guys put on less fights and they are momma 's boys.many ladies can keep their son's love but they get possessive after a dil comes and spoil it.if one knows how to play their game in any relation the right way,there is no love lost.


    sorry to digress.boy babies are also cute and less drama:))

    I read about a lady who aborted her IVF twins since they were both girls!! Can u believe it?she wanted boys it seems.the story made me very angry.


    to each one their own.everything has a plus and minus.

    Imagine how many people r suffering and ttc to have one kid and u r blessed to have two lovely boys.be happy.god bless!
     
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  4. shobraj

    shobraj New IL'ite

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    Thank you for your kind words ...no we are not going beyond 2 my husband was not ready even for second one we are done with two kids that's why I wished terribly for a girl.
     
  5. padmaja909

    padmaja909 Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi @shobraj, firstly congrats :)
    Once you deliver your baby and look at his cute face you will forget all your disappointment believe me.
     
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  6. SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

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    Congrats.... When I conceived for the first time, I badly wanted a girl. I used to dream of a girl baby, her fashion baby cloths, hair bands and all the fun associated with a tiny baby kid. But my Gynae broke the ice saying it was a boy. For a minute I was speechless, felt disappointment and extreme discomfort to digest this news. Thanks to my hormones then.

    To add fuel to the fire my in laws also yearned for a baby girl as they had only 3 boys.

    But as time passes, as the little bean starts to kick, and show his developments I slowly forgot the fact that I wanted a girl then.

    When my Gynae once told me that my kid may suffer due to womb tightening thus we should take him out before the due date, my heart stopped its beat for a minute. That moment my heart went out for this tiny bean, and I felt so possessive about him. I was ready to face any pain, or hardship though I damn freaked out about a surgery then.

    The moment I saw him, and had him in my hands - I completely forgotten my wish of a girl, rather started loving a boy. That was called love at first sight.

    My baby girl was born 2.5 years after. This time I wasn't that excited, rather ready to have any gender. Because my boy had created an image by then to believe baby boys are the most loving souls.

    You will be fine when your time comes. Congrats mom
     
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  7. whitedaisy

    whitedaisy Bronze IL'ite

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    I know few girls who are not at all close to their parents, and boys who really emotionally connected to mom.
    My husband is very close to his mother. I can say even today they are the best friends.

    It doesn't matter boy/girl. Just pray for a happy and healthy kid. Enjoy the beautiful journey of pregnancy.
     
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  8. oysterzzz

    oysterzzz Gold IL'ite

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    I had my princess first. Now I am carrying again so was wishing for a boy. But time is nearing and I feel its a girl again. So, I am preparing myself to stay the same whoever it is. We have also decided that it will be only two kids for us. I can't imagine about people saying "ayyo, both girls?" Especially in my husbands village which is filled with all educated illiterates. Not that I really care for their s**t but I wanted to have a boy experience as well.
     
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  9. shobraj

    shobraj New IL'ite

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    Thank you so much guys it helps and matters a lot gives me lot of strength I was so wishing for a girl.
     
  10. Alita

    Alita Senior IL'ite

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    Healthy and normal is what counts, the sex of the baby should not matter. I have one of each; but their health and normalcy matters first.


    Alita
     

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