Gangajal, Or One Day In The Life Of An Unknown Indian

Dear Satchi,

I have to frankly admit that I was missing your views and, once again, God answered my prayers. I must go there and buy the Gangajal. Can't take this God chap for granted. But Sushila believes that God will be pleased with me anyway. Hope she is correct.

I wonder what Guru Cheeniya is doing. You have brought in Wooster and compared his predicament with mine. And Guru, who is the ultimate authority on Wodehouse, doesn't even know! He is most sensitive about his Wodehouse connection. I had once written a post in which I brought up one of Wodehouse's lesser known novels, Summer Moonshine. I had said that even if no one else had read it, Guru couldn't possibly be a no one else. And lo and behold! He wrote an fb which started out with first things first. He almost charged me of making allegations against him. He insisted that he had read Summer Moonshine, not once, not twice, but a million times. He insisted on this when I had already insisted that he had read the book. Guru refused to be pacified. We quarreled for several months, each one of us asserting that there was no difference of opinion between us.

But with Guru's eye ailment, he may not notice your delightful reference to Wodehouse, topped off with Tennyson's cannons. You created a difficult situation though. Try and imagine a poor septuagenarian flanked by cannons to the left and right and threatened by Spodes from front and behind. Simultaneously mind you.

As always, I began lamenting as soon as the edit option disappeared. There were typos and, worse, an incorrect usage of the English language. I said somnambulantly, when I meant somnolently. I am scared. These days IL is inhabited by vigilantes who teach you how to write.

Incidentally, why don't you call up the Guru and read out your fb and my response to you. I could do it myself too, but I am not sure if I should try. His daughter informed me that he had demanded to speak to oj over the phone while he was recovering at the nursing home and then decided to go to sleep instead. He might well begin to snore if I spoke to him. I think I need to pay him yet another visit to Chennai to make him talk to me.

Thanks Satchi for your lovely fb. And also for introducing me to the acronym ROFL. You have the advantage of youth over me.

oj-da

 

Quite right Kamal. Why on earth are they hiding from me? Here is one of my recent photographs. Does it scare you? Would you run away from me, like the man with the umbrella?

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I wasn't exactly thinking about a blog at the post office, but after I safely arrived home, I thought of you. What might Kamal have to say about similar experiences? I concluded that he was likely to come up with a blog. And then I thirsted to write a blog instead of a snippet. I am not sure what the difference between the two is. But Gangajal is a blog I think.

This reminds me of Graham Greene (the one who introduced R.K. Narayan to the world). I am one of his die-hard fans. He used to write two kinds of books, Novels and Entertainments. I am thinking of imitating him now onwards. I will call my posts Snippets or Blogs, even though I don't know clearly what the difference between the two is. Nonetheless, it could constitute a sort of variety, which some believe to be an essential component of life!

Best wishes, good friend.

oj

 

Dear PS,

Good to see that your iPad stands recharged.

You are absolutely right. I don't keep my eyes open all the time, but sometimes I do. And when I do, I invariably notice the interesting twists and turns of life. One can write a story simply by watching the way shopkeepers are adjusting to GST. They have lost their confidence and employed persons to keep track of their sales on computers and produce receipts bearing the stamps of CGST and SGST. It is hilarious, I assure you.

I am not sure whether I will feel humorous if I were to be sent to the gallows, or see my home broken into. But then, who knows! The Bengali poet Kazi Nazrul Islam had written a poem about the martyrs who sang from the gallows while being hanged. Of course, I am no martyr, nor am I likely to be. I am sure to s*** in my pants if you were to even hit me with a money plant.

Best wishes.

oj

PS: Incidentally, do you mind if I called you Postscript? A cute name in my opinion. I had found a name for Viji too. It was Pashenka. But Viji keeps forgetting why I called her Pashenka. She prefers to be called Viji I think.