Funny!!

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by Selvi, Jun 28, 2006.

  1. Selvi

    Selvi Senior IL'ite

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    Enjoy!!!!!

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    We were at Lowe's last nite buying a new fridge. We had already gone to 4 other stores & both girls were getting tired.

    I was holding dd (2.5) and she was playing w/the collar on my shirt (it was a V-neck polo). Suddenly she shouts "I'm opening a present!!!" as she's pulling the v-neck in opposite directions, giving a clear view of my bra.

    Of course the sales guy is standing right there, turns around and dd says "Do you want to open mommy's present too?? Here!"

    We all cracked up. The poor guy was beet red & trying so hard not to laugh. I told her that I was not a present to open so she said, "ok, Daddy can have your presents" LOL

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    We put mittens on our 8 week ds because he keeps scratching his face, even though we trim his little nails constantly. Our 4 yr old dd calls his mittens 'muffins'. The other day, out of nowhere, she sang to him:
    Do you know the baby muffin man?
    Do you know the baby muffin man?
    Who lives on Pinewood Lane? (our street name)
    So cute! ~Crysta

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    This happened on Sunday. I noticed that my almost 2yo dd's eye was red and puffy. I asked my 4yo dd if she knew what happened. She said that might have happened when they were wrestling. I asked her why they were wrestling. She said "Because wrestling is a nicer word than fighting."

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    Yesterday afternoon we (25 month old dd and 6 yo ds) were going to the grocery store. I asked them what they wanted to get at the store and the 25 month old pipes up from the back seat: "Mommy, I need protein!" I just about died laughing, had NO clue where that could have come from.
    The other day I told dd we needed to go to the store, she informed me: "We go get me a big bed?" Again, nothing we have even talked about recently, I LOVE the crib lol. I told her we'd have to talk to daddy about that, then she said, "Where's the phone?"

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    Our 3yo DS has a very good memory. I don't know if all kids do because he's my first one, but DH is always losing his stuff and asking where his keys, shoes, wallet, you get the idea. One day he was looking for his keys and DS went and got them from our night stand and said "Daddy, you need a new memory" It was so funny.
    They mow the grass here on Mondays, and one Monday night he came to the living room and said "Daddy, grass people here, grass people here" DH looked at me and asked what he was talking about, at first I had no idea, but then we realized he was talking about the landscapers.

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    DD (3) rarely sees dh w/o a shirt on. The other night she was taking a bath and dh had been weedeating and he had grass all over his shirt so he took it off and came in the bathroom without a shirt on. DD(naked in tub) looks at dh, covers her eyes, and says "Ewwww Daddy, put some clothes on; I don't want to see all that." I almost fell over laughing.
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    Here is how a conversation with my 3 yr old DD went last monday. She was upset...
    Mommy " what is wrong Jaiden"
    Jaiden " I can't talk to you right now... I need a minute."
    After a minute, she blurts out with....
    Jaiden "Ok, my problem with you is this. I am mad because you are not sharing the cookies with me... you are only giving them to my daddy and that is not nice.
    The box of cookies was sitting on her lap and Dh and I were eating from them....
    Mommy "I am sorry, sweetie, here, take some cookies from the box. We are both just reaching in a grabing some... you can get some too.
    I leaned the box towards her so she could get some.... she puts her right hand up in my face and says ...
    FORGET IT!!!!
    I was ROTFLOL!!! I could not believe how sassy she was.... oh boy, if this is 3,what will 13 be???
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    Dd (3) refuses to eat any kind of beef (roast, burgers, anything) because the last two times she's had the stomach flu, we've had beef before she's thrown up. Even though she's had it a million times without getting sick, it's in her head that the beef made her sick.
    So we were at my in-laws a few weeks ago and sil made roast. Dd blurts out, "Oh, I don't eat beef."
    My bil, being a goofball, said, "Is it because you're opposed to the unethical treatment of cattle?"
    Dd, with a stone cold expression on her face, looked him straight in the eye said "yes it is." We couldn't stop laughing, but she didn't realize what was so funny. :)

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    Just this morning, my four year old DS was watering some flowers out front with a hose, when he turned it on his 18 month old sister and soaked her.
    I yelled "Why did you water your sister??!"
    He replied, "She needs to grow!"


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    About 2 yrs ago I was on the way home with my stepson in the car and I asked him what he wanted for dinner.
    He said "liver pizza". I had no idea what he was talking about. So I said "hun you have never had liver and I don't think it would be good on pizza."
    He then said "oh yes we have liver pizza all the time when you don't want to cook. YOU just call Papa Johns and the liver you a pizza!".
    I said "oh you mean delivery pizza".
    He says "yeah thats what I said, liver pizza!"


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    have 2 of them. Last week dh took dd (2.5) swimming. Normally I just rinse the suits out and occasionally I wash them. I tossed the suits in the basement where I was going to wash them. dd went downstairs because she is so used to me rinsing them out to get the suits. I told her I was going to wash them and to come up the stairs. She told me to "get over it mom" and made me go downstairs and get her. I about died - when she throws a fit for no reason, sh & I tell her that.
    Then today when I was going pee in the bathroom she came in. She started sniffing the air and said "I smell stinky" - she starts to try to smell me and asks "Mommy are you stinky? Yes you are!!" Then I wiped myself and she looked in the toilet and said "did you go in there? yes you did! Good girl"
    I thought I was going to die!!!

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    :-D :-D :-D
     
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  2. Chitvish

    Chitvish Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Selvi, I hate to present myself naughty, but......

    All were very interesting & funny, but you can guess what I would have liked
    " tops" !
    I imagined myself in that situation - my God, I could'nt help blushing & laughing to myself.
    Good ones & different too.
    I just finished " Create your love story " thread, ofcourse with all my " flames" & " heartthrobs" ! Oh, Selvi, where am I heading today ???!!!

    Love & regards,
    Anonymous.
     
    Last edited: Jun 28, 2006
  3. Selvi

    Selvi Senior IL'ite

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    There she is everyone!!!!! Anonymous is back again!!!!

    :clap
     

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