Funerals, Liquor etc

Funerals, Liquor etc

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Hamburg police arrested a woman driver, whose breath test showed 4 times the permissible liquor levels. But a town judge recently dismissed the aggravated driving while intoxicated charge, after hearing medical evidence that the woman suffers from a rare intestinal disorder called “Auto-Brewery Syndrome” that sometimes turns ordinary food and beverages into alcohol in a person’s body.
Woman’s body acts as ‘brewery,’ so judge dismisses DWI - City & Region - The Buffalo News



HAHA. What a wonderful disease to have, whereby u have a free brewery brewing in yr body. Well then the urine too will be intoxicating, and if he had the morarji habit, he would be intoxicated the whole day .. Did not Morarji Desai drink urine eh !


One disease many would wish for, for this would save them so much liquor money eh !

Try a Coffin before u Buy one for yourself
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Try Before You Buy a Coffin: Death Business Thrives in Japan - Bloomberg Business


Japanese people now try a coffin before they buy one.Theu go and sleep in it to see hoo comfortable it is . I did not know that after death, one can feel anything.


People are buying their own coffins, andleaving written instructions of what is to be done, in case they die in a earthqualke, tsunami, or in a foreign land.
My father used to buy brass items like plates, and other things , for export to America and durope in the seventies from Moradabad. REcenly one of the suppliers son came visiting to jaipur and met me, for old times sake.


I asked him how the business was, he said it is booming, but not the traditional one.His father retired, left him the company, this fellow went abroad to study, and there he came in contact with funeral stores. And what he saw there , he was zapped.He saw big business in death.


He returned home, started to make brass urns for export, fancy urns with carving etc. He made the big ones, also small ones, which can be a small heart shape locket, in which the woman can put the few ash in that locket, close it and wear it on her neck, feeling her beloved on around her neck.


He said what costs 10 dollors to make, say 700/- he gives on consignment basis to a funeral parlour for 30 dollors, the bigger ones that cost 70 dollors , he gives for 300 dollors, and so on.Also he advertises in the funeral magazines, online, and he is douing a roaring business.


But look at it here. We hindus are burnt. How can we try out the crematorium eh ! the logs of wood if put on a live person, will break all his 300 bones, or more, before he is burnt. So poor us, we cant even try what the Japanese can do eh !


If I was younger, well I would have also entered this business, after all all is fair in love and war, and death, if I may add eh !

HAHA




Indian Woman Gives Birth in Uber Cab, Names Baby Uber


A woman was giving birth, she called the ambulance which did not turn up, so she called a Uber cab, which came promptly.But on the way to the hospital the lady gave birth, in the cab.


So guess what, the lady is now named her child UBER.


So nice of the lady, but what if she had given birth in the car, that is on the Indian roads, called LAURA, then what would she have named her son ?

HAHA



Well friends I can go on and on, so let me stop before u guys start pelting stones at me.Have a great week ladies and gentlemen.

KAMAL MAHTANI



Everyone has their share of problems......

In Delhi,
People don't know which car to take out today?

In Dubai,
People don't know which wife to take out today?



Doctor – How much do u drink everyday ?
Delhi Patient – On odd days, 1 to 3 pegs
Even Days - 2 to 4 pegs


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Matrimonial Advt in Delhi.

26 year old educated boy with odd numbered vehicle looking for beautiful girl with even numbered vehicle. Suitable candidates please reply with picture of vehicle and registration certificate.

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Wife – Did u fool around with the maid ?
Husband – No, why ?
Wife – Till yesterday she was calling me Memsaab, today she called me Didi, so I was wondering.!!!!

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Dear Sulekha,

wishing u a very happy new year along with yr family.

Small scale factory eh ! HAHA.Good one.

Hindus very go for samadhi, rest go for cremation, where u cannot try, u will die trying.HAHA

Ola would be a cute name eh !HAHA

Jokes all thanks to whats app from friends.

Regards

kamal

 

Dear Balaji,

Yes prerecorded ones will save a lot of money on priests.HAHA

Regards

kamal

 

Dear Satchi,

Well the japanese aer very advanced , so maybe they know better.HAHA

Regards

kamal

 

Dear Vishwa,

i have so many clippings Vishwa, i can write for ever. my eyes just catch something interesting.
Yes this woman is an enterpreuer, and if she can find a way to sell her self made alcholol, she will be a billionaire eh ! HAHA

Do u know , in Rajasthan, the locals go bust after the death opf a family emmber. in the villages, they invite a dozen villages, for dinner, and thousands come, and just eat. the deceased family sometimes goes bust feeding so many.

So this industry thrives here too.HAHA

Yes what if the child is born in the theatre, what would they call it eh !

Well yes the odd even is making waves and whosoever makes these jokes on whats app, i will call them a genius, HAHA

Regards

kamal