This is part vent and part seeking advice... The terrible threes are here...and it's making a monster out of mommy! Flashback : Mommy is pleasant, kind, encouraging, manages to get LO do things without having to raise her voice (firm but never scolding/shouting)... LO loves being around mommy, and we have a lot of fun together even in mundane things.. It's all undone now.. I get so stressed and worked up and can't talk to my kid for 15 min without raising my voice at her... Everything needs to be done by LO only - "Don't help me", goes her refrain. So now I threaten to help her if she doesn't do something.. (note to self : need to change this tactic). She has to do everything herself. And she will take her own sweet time. That's 15 minutes to wash hands (The soap water everything is a fascination). Refusing to get up from potty - "I'm not done". Wont wipe, won't let me wipe. Finally I do it for her (after 10 minutes of escalating instructions) amidst her screams of dont do it. It takes 1.5 hours every morning to get her ready to preschool - when I constantly keep at her (eventually raising my voice) AND feed her. This is just to brush, wash, eat, change..! And this after her first 30 min post wake up of refusing to wake up, or go potty or drink water... It is sooooo stressful.. The 2-3 hours she's with me post-preschool, again exhausting. The same refusals. Will not snack, will not eat or drink anything, will not wash hands, will not put the coat in it's place.. nor let me do it....and if I sit down for a breather, will come searching for me and then start jumping on me or playing (pulling) my hair. She is not a bad kid - and that's not a parental caveat. She is well behaved in school (is that why she is acting out here?). She has not been this way even at home until this past 1 month, defiant yes, but malleable - not throwing tantrums and refusing outright like now. She changed schools recently, I'm tempted to think that was the trigger...But she is enjoying school and is well adjusted there... Is it really just a phase? How should I be handling this? (Besides waking up at 5 to cook, so I can 'get her ready' from 6:30 for school at 8:30!!) The thing that gets to me most is the extremely long time it takes to get ready for school in the morning, and the restroom stalling/wars. Eating...well...thats a longstanding battle, and we (H. in particular) are to blame for her poor habits. Maybe a separate post on that Thoughts?