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From working to SATM.. Feelings and conflicts.. please help

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous in Parenting' started by krozwindz, Dec 6, 2011.

  1. krozwindz

    krozwindz Silver IL'ite

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    I have been working before and after my baby was born except the maternity leave period. she is now 2 years old and i finally cant seem to handle it any more.. I hate depending on the maids to take care of her and the fact that i have been so badly treated by the maids that i have now turned paranoid about them now. From an all trusting soul who trusted everyody around too someone who expects the worst in all the maids and the worst part is they prove that i am right in thinking bad about them everytime. That made me finally decide that i dont want my baby to grow up like this and i quit. I am now serving my notice period and would soon be unemployed.
    The biggest prob is i am extremely sensitive to what people say about me and also that i have always been independant. If there is a fight between my husband and me, or my family and me and they tell me that i am not important to them and they dont need me then i will hurt very badly. I feel it is because i dont work that i have no value in the household and i have no identity. Just today my dad told me he has more trouble to deal with , with us in the house than us gone and he would be better with us gone. The last time my husband and me fought he had said he doesnt need me in his life too. I feel really hurt. I feel i am giving up my all almost and sacrificing for the family. A family that doesnt even need me. And on the other hand, the maid problem is so bad that i can go to office at all. Every third day i get a new ayah and then i have to train her all over again and the whole process of baby adjusting her to her takes place during which i have to do everything for my daughter. So again no office. And then baby adjusts to the new person and the new person leaves. and another one comes in and the whole process starts. Husband and dad sympathasize and then full stop. That is all they do. There is no other input or help from their side. Then when i get upset that they dont help me, dad says this a trouble for him and husband says that i complain too much.
    I am so unhappy and feel so unwanted. I feel without a job i am going to have no identity and no respect. I am not able to a get a grip on my life and my feelings. I wasnt sure where to post this so posted it here, moderator, please feel free to move it if not the correct place.
     
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  2. Gurudevi20

    Gurudevi20 New IL'ite

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    Hey Aditi

    I can understand that you are so sensitive.. One thing i can tell you better stop caring and listening about others words..go away from everything that hurts you...Never care for people who dont care about you....Now you have got a baby to look after...Resign your job and happily look after her...Some days after, in the future,she will feel happy that you brought her up..my Mom was working, so many days myself and my brother felt so bad when she left us alone for her work... If others dont give value to you only because you are without job, then never mind.. it only means that there is no respect and value for the person,only the money that they have respected all these days...
    But one thing i can say, i think you want to be perfect in whatever you do,,, so this seems to be reason you start complaining about your maids to your husband..I know it is easy to give advice,,but it is very hard to follow...Stop complaining..Nothing is going to change if you complain...Better start accepting and keep quiet...Pay attention to your sweet little girl...I am damn sure one day she will feel happy that you brought her up...Be happy...
     
  3. heron

    heron Platinum IL'ite

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    Aditi,

    The only soul who is loving you unconditionally (jus like you do) is the tiny baby. Dont really care about anyone who hurts you. They might/might not know what you did, but what u r doing now is so precious to the baby. You are a sensible mom :).:thumbsup
     
    Last edited: Jan 7, 2012
    1 person likes this.

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