From The Troubles And Misfortunes Of Others

Agreed. "OP Count your blessings" is a very common phrase used here. This is not just in the forum. When I share how miserable I feel with my set backs with closed one's in the family the advice I get from them is we should count our blessings. Sometimes I just question them really ? Why?
But it's true though.

 

First you benchmark.
Then you strive.
That’s why you count.
Just to check if striving has had any effect.

 

OP, Only after visiting few forums like ILs and reading post of some women in troubled married life, I sensed that my marriage was not in that bad shape. I admit that Atleast I have a better married life and I Count it as my blessing and Thank God for it. I am definitely not trying to solace myself from misfortunes or troubles of others, instead trying to appreciate the best/good thing I have at the moment.
We all do this kind comparison in every walk of life. Our sixth sense is tuned to work that way. As long as the Atleast and Count your blessing techniques are not used to hurt the sufferer, self soothing is ok to me.

 

Agree with Desiindian. Feeling thankful for what you have, after a realization, is not equivalent to taking sadistic pleasure in someone else's relative misfortune.

When we wish a doctor good luck we are not wishing for more sickness around him. Rather we are wishing him for successful diagnosis, effective treatment, successful surgeries etc.

When it comes to cases like people waiting for organ transplant, the line blurs a bit because we are waiting for someone to pass on the right way, others in the queue ahead to be unavailable etc. Not sure if we can blame ourselves for it. We are designed to protect ourselves and our dear ones. But lot of guilt could come along with it. Unless we set out to kill donors/recipients on the list (like in Breathe series) we should be OK, I guess.

 

@Rihana, I saw your OP when you posted it, but was waiting for your deep thoughts on the subject. Meanwhile, here are mine:

"At least" and "count your blessings" are acceptable techniques for dealing with misfortune. But there's a caveat: If you employ these strategies when something goes wrong, you must also employ the opposite when things go right.

For example, if you win 100 million in the lottery, you can't celebrate. You must be filled with sorrow because someone else won 500 million.

I like balance in all things.

Or you can tackle the challenges in your life, overcome them, be grateful for the learning experience and for the strength you gain from each of them.

.​

 

Golden words of wisdom @Amica. Well said.

 

Well, I'm learning this . Isn't my inbuilt trait. Yes have been this selfish one to not be thankful for the good I have and never questioned "why me " for the good. . But I will remember that. .