From "Miss' to "Mrs"

This is my first post as Mrs.Debdatta Dasgupta Sahay and this is going to be a story about how a Bengali family from Kolkata,West Bengal and a Bihari family from Bhagalpur, Bihar came to be associated together.

Amazingly enough, the story begins neither in Kolkata nor in Bhagalpur. The story begins when I, Debdatta Dasgupta, met 'Nishant Sahay' at St.Joseph's College, North Point, Darjeeling. Things from then on were like your any boy-meet-girl and they-fall-in-love sort. The only twist in this story is that it was the girl who proposed. Twice. Yes, you read it right folks! I was the one to propose and I had to do it twice. You'd think I got rejected the first time round. But no, he said the 'I love you too' dialogue first time around -- only he thought I had said those 3 words as a FRIEND!! So after a few days of 'serious discussions' with HIS friends I had to propose him again and this time I made it clear that I didn't mean it just as a friend. And, so our relationship began along with the classes for our third year in graduation.

After our graduation, I moved to Kolkata for PG and he followed. Only he moved to Hyderabad for his MBA and then his job. We did the long distance relationship bit for over two years. The late night calls, the love letter, the video chats and even occasional visits... His friends actually teased him that his PG certificate should mention that he did his course from Kolkata since that's where he spent most of his time! Soon, tired of all the expenses, I followed him and moved to Hyderabad. After a long time, we were finally able to act like a normal couple -- going on dates, romantic dinners, long drives, popcorn at movie theatre and even the fights.

Soon after I moved to Hyderabad, my parents realised that we were serious about our relationship and decided that it was high time to take some action since we were both living in a separate city from them. So we got Engaged! Bengalis reading this might think that 'but we do not have any engagement ceremony - just Ashirbaad'. So, count this as my Sagai cum Ashirbaad ceremony. It was during the summer season and though it may sound dramatic but the moment we exchanged our rings, storm started raging outside (Kalbaishakhi). My in-laws were very happy as they considered it as a 'good sign'.

We were engaged for over a year before getting married last December. During this period there was intense choas at both family's end. What rituals are to be followed? Who is going to adjust where? Who is going to pay for what? What things are to be sent to the soon-to-be-in-laws? Who is going to travel in order for the required face-to-face meetings? Most importantly, where are the rituals going to take place. We, the bride & the groom, sweetly stepped away from taking any decision and only commenting "whatever you think would be appropriate" whenever our opinions were asked. Finally, everything was decided and preparations began. I quit my job 3 months early to spend some time at home and with parents [Here read, to learn how to cook!] Between Shopping, Dussera at Kolkata, Shopping, meeting relatives and some more shopping, I hardly realised that time was flying by. Soon the d-day was here.

My main source of worry was that the rituals take so long, how am I going to sit through it? So, I requested my mother & Nishant to talk to the respective 'Purohits' to take some short cuts. Our family purohit, after putting my elder brothers through the rituals, was almost expecting the request. He merely smiled & agreed. Apparently, the trait of impatience runs in the family! The purohit from Nishant's family was another matter on the whole. He replied by saying that instead of taking 8-10 hours, he would manage it in 5 hours! after a lot of coaxing and some currency passing hands, he agreed to do it all as shortly as possible. Result? Bengali traditions of Kanyadaan and Shubhodrishti was done within half an hour. Bihari traditions of 'Saat phera', promises and sindur was done in another 45mins. We were married within 1 and half hour. Fastest service ever!

What was the best part about the whole thing was that not a single word was ever uttered about the difference in Caste and Culture between the two families. Both the families and extended families were gracious, understanding and ready to adjust. And also, there was absolutely no crying!!

Its now almost a month that we have settled in together. my mother-in-law has already visited us and my mother visit is just round the corner. We have settled down as well as can be expected from two very inexperienced 'refusing to grow-up' children. But we are learning by trial and error method and I think that we are doing well. The thing is that we are still the best of friends first and that is helping us with all the adjustments. I just hope that we can hold on to this friendship in the years to come. If we do, WE WILL DO FINE!

So bless us people...