Friends Who Pick You Up, Who Listen

Friends do listen to me all the time and many would offer hands if I ask for help but I don't. If the friendship doesn't involve our children then it is much more peaceful. I don't have extended family but friends are my family. Recently one taught me a valuable lesson still I appreciate their presence in my life. So many friends have left me but friendship remains at heart. Kissee mode per unkaa mulaaquat hogi ... keeping fingers crossed

 

I used to go out of my way to help friends ages ago but not anymore because many just don't know how to reciprocate. I still listen and help only when my schedule allows me.

 

I have been "that" friend who pick them up, and listen to "some" of my great friends. They still count me as their best support system. In fact, they will buzz me if there is anything special/bad going on in their lives. It's been a while since we are together, and I am hearing almost everything ranging to "love affairs", marriage and then PILs problems, couple's fight, parenting issues, career issues and to someone I am the only channel to share her EMA story as well...
I empathize with them, although I do not share much with their situations. I consider them as my buddies, and never judge them. But if I think they are on the wrong path, I confront with them and make efforts to correct.
Many of them listen to my advice and still consider me as a mentor. But a few cut all the ties just like that, and move on.
It hurts, specially after having spent so much time on the relationship.. But I too move on...

However, I never connect that well with these friends. I have always been the listener. I share any common stuff and even the joyous matters with them. But I never dared to show my personal or private side to them.

Nevertheless, I have this male friend. We are classmates since childhood though, but friends only in our early 20s.
We did a project together, and he helped me a lot then.
Since then we became best buddies.
I find comfortable to share anything and everything with this guy. I trust him, and treat him like my own bro.
He to treats me like his sis, and shares all with me.
Thankfully we never had oppositions or issues with our parents or spouses at anytime.
I've told him all about my PILs issues, and the mental agony I was going through back then. In fact, I wasn't able to share the same with my H or anyone that time.
His love story, break up and everything is known to me.
His wife used to call me if she wants to convince him for anything.

But we do not hang out much or spend time together to call ourselves as friends. Now a days, we do visit each other occationally with families.
But I am sure he is ready to hear me whenever I need to vent by chat or call. I depend on him...

 

I had few close friends in college but after marriage got busy in our lives; though we message sometimes through social media. Though we were close, I don't think I was ever comfortable with anyone to share personal stuff/issues. But, I remember watching Sex and the City and seeing Carrie and her friends and how they would call each other for anything and would share everything with each other and I would go, wow, it would be fun to have such close friends, maybe just to hangout, if not share everything.

But, friendships require time and effort like any relationship, which most of us married do not have. Also, they are not a top priority. So, hardly a surprise I guess.

 

I am blessed to have good friends since childhood. I am still in contact with a school friend who has been my friend since 1957. During school days she has helped me a lot , I used to go with her in her car to school . She is very rich but very simple and down to earth person. In office also I had good friends . One of them who was a Manager in office but very down to earth person and always used to drop me home whenever we go out for functions . Another friend who always ready to help me when I sick and will ask whether she should bring something for me. Recently also I took the liberty of going to her house for lunch as my husband had gone out for a function and I could not stay long there. There are many on line friends, fb friends, IL friends who hve also helped me. Long live our friendship