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Friend's Ema

Discussion in 'Friends & Neighbours' started by desposhwetha, Nov 13, 2017.

  1. maddysweet

    maddysweet Silver IL'ite

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    Dear OP,

    You just made the poor husband waste his money on this vacation with wife she really dont deserve. He must be thinking his wife loves him so much and craving to spend time, so she expressed to you and you called him. where as the picture is different. Your friend is very happy with her new found love and no matter even if the husband spends more time she will continue. she is going to come back from vacation and its again back to same place.
    First of all, everything is working out well for her. she has hubby who gives lot of money and minds his job. after years of marriage, she fell into love again with some other guy. so she is continuing.

    there are only 2 things you can do. 1 ask your friend if she demanded, fought and kept condition on husband that she want to spend time. asked him to quit the grocery store or job and she fine with less money but wants his love??? This is what every normal wife who loves husband will do. If she says YES.
    2. Then ask the hubby, if your friend really asked him. if he says YES, then ask him to quit job. a vacation will not fix the relationship.

    But if the answer is NO. then your friend is doing it on purpose and there is nothing you can do.

    also i find it very strange why are you so much worried. Its her life, let her deal. The only thing you can do is warn her about the consequences.

     
    venkiis likes this.
  2. maddysweet

    maddysweet Silver IL'ite

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    OP ,

    you mentioned she is quite happy and handling it well. That itself says she is doing it on purpose. spending vacation time with husband will not solve this.
    Only hope the attraction or what ever she has on that guy fades away, and she comes back to her senses.
     
  3. maddysweet

    maddysweet Silver IL'ite

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    she already told you, she want it both. and handling it well?. so why did you thought about calling her husband.
    Dont call him or give any more hints to the husband. That will only end up in her marriage. and also in your friendship.
     
    Sunshine04 likes this.
  4. desposhwetha

    desposhwetha Gold IL'ite

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    Sometimes it is very hard to stay away when you know your bestie is in trouble. Of course I agree it is their life and they should fix it. What I did was to see if I could possibly help her. On your qn of asking him for time, yes she has. In fact she quit her job post delivery to take care of her son and fil. I have personally witnessed her losing her cool with him on this issue.
    I am not sure if it was a coincidence that he chose to take her on a vacation just when I called. Nevertheless, it should help both of dem.

    Ema is not the solution, that's why I have posted here asking advice. As a friend, I have tried to explain her and talk to him as well. Henceforth, it's for them to decide.

    Ema is common, was her exact statement and this was disturbing me. The replies to the thread have proved me right. Glad.
     
    Rihana and BhumiBabe like this.
  5. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    Well..this happens..and yes it is somewhat common.Many don't act upon it and many don't say.


    Well..is it right?NO.
    Will she recover from it?depends on her mental strength coz for sure this guy will dump her real soon.He is not in love with what and it's just some
    Added spice.


    Why she went for EMA??
    Your friend is BORED.Ask her take up a job or hobbies and act on her passions the right way.she does not understands her blessings.She needs to love herself more.Hence she seems outside love.

    Everyone needs validation at some point and it is nice to get some but one should not dwell on it.

    Life is not what we see in movies.It is our fantasies which is being portrayed by money making marketing techniques.One should be smart to see th difference between reel and real.
     
  6. SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

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    Off late, I am realizing the fact that EMA is very very common in this society than what we know/imagine.
    At least one member in our team - any given team, undergoes this, or has experienced this.
    Everyone knows at least a couple of EMA stories from their close circle.
    It is becoming common here. Blame the mechanical life style, blame the economical stress, that makes the couple to run after money at the cost of missing each other. Blame the emotional issues, etc..etc.... and more importantly the lone life style (joint family system has already died in many places).

    This is definitely not right. This will only lead to troubles and further complications. Just because it is common, doesn't mean it is right or we should keep mum about it. It is legally, morally, emotionally as well health wise a very complicated state to be in. But, people still love it, need it and it just happens!!!
    That's the reality.
    It has become common like eating fast food, now a days.
    Everyone know it is dangerous for the health, yet people eat.
    Earlier, they feared and imagined for the worst when eating fast food. Only those who claim to be careless/fearless dare to eat them often. Now a days, it has become common. Everyone understands the fact that fast food do not kill them immediately. They take their own precautions. They have their own reasons to consume fast food.
    And with time, it has become a common practice.
    Still there are people who believe fast foods are bad/dangerous; thus stay away from them. But they are rare - they are old fashioned.

    Now, change the word EMA to fast food, and re read... This is how it became common, I guess!
     

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