Friend Didn't Show Up After Saying "yes"

Oh.. come on...
It was bad that she did not turn up. At least one of them must have attended for the sake of it.
But unexpected scenarios happen in real life, and sometimes we can't openly share the actual reasons behind this.
A good heart and some level of understanding is the only remedy to let go of such incidents.

Been there, done that... and most of the times, I do not waste the food.
I either store them in fridge or share them with neighbors if I could not locate any beggars roaming nearby.
I would be mad for sometimes, but as I wake up the next morning, I would forget it all, and leave it at that.

Carrying bitterness like this is harmful to your friendship as well to your own sanity.
It is bad to dig through it and make that friend to apologize forcefully. It may hit their ego.
It is great if they could voluntarily apologize and repent. If not, let it be.

 

Can understand your anger n frustration. It is annoying. Esp after she said she's coming then not coming then blaming you for not understanding. If it helps, do take your revenge by saying coming nex time n then don't go. Then jus get over it.

Have been on both ends of this. Part n parcel of socialising. We always keep a buffer of someone not turning up as there are a million things that can happen in the last minute even when they confirm saying they are 'on the way', seriously.

It used to bug me a few times initially or feel so guilty when I missed, but later jus understood it's jus how it is. N learnt to let go of all this n not take it personally.

Our left over food:
we use the next day.
Or re-cook it in variation.
Pack n send along with the friends who came.
Share with my neighbours.
Give my maids.
Pack n share with the guards / house keeping staff or anyone needy on the way.

 

Don't create a hill out of a mole. Agreed food got wasted and the money got spent unnecessarily and all that but maybe the reason she said was genuine. You tell me can we ask a kid not to sleep for he has to go to a party. Maybe and I stress on it that the baby won't have slept the earlier night and would have slept his heart out that day. Who knows.. just relax and let go. It's easy to lose out on a relationship for petty reasons but to make one, may take years together.

 

OP, I think you should let it go....

I have been in your friend's place before. Long ago, when my husband were in the phase between 'not-so-newly-married' and 'not married long enough to understand what's important for life', we used to get into these serious fights for petty issues! So we had one such dinner invitation and having just finished a huge argument, with the embers of the fight still aglow, I kept calling up the hosts telling them that we were running late for some lame reason. And we finally did not end up going. Give your friend the benefit of the doubt that she had legitimate reasons for not going to your party.

Another time was we had a birthday party invite and for some reason my husband was mad and did not go. I went by myself and when people asked me why he did not come and I got so flustered and did not know what to say, I just blurted out that he was busy doing yard work!!! It was only after that I realized what an absolutely stupid reason that was and how disrespectful it would have been for the hosts.... but that was the situation I was caught in!

I am not saying your friend definitely had something like this going on, but I would just give her the benefit of the doubt. Also, having to deal with some leftovers should not be a reason for carrying a grudge over a friendship that seems good otherwise. So just let it go.... it's not worth ruminating over!!

 

Consider this an education in entertaining. Unexpected situations and curveballs will arise. Whether your friends could have been more accommodating is up for debate, but people with little kids generally get some leeway.
To avoid hard feelings keep things more casual next time. Don't order expensive food. The company is the main part of the evening, so even a simple home cooked meal will be enough. And keep expectations low.

 

@Sapna56, I'm sorry your friends ditched you and I understand why it upset you.

Even though you were disappointed, let it go this time. If it happens repeatedly, reevaluate your friendship with them.

Meanwhile, keep looking for friends who are more like yourself.

.​

 

True.

 

@memeera1234 I'm sorry to disagree with you but I don't think the OP is making a mountain out of a molehill. She specifically asked both families if they could come, it was a dinner invitation and both families agreed in advance. To call on the day of the dinner and make a lame excuse like I can't come because my kid is napping is totally unacceptable.
I have very young children, 4 and 2, if I was invited to dinner and it was around their nap time then I would at least let the host know of this and that we might be late in case they sleep over. Secondly, even if the situation changed at the last minute, I'd at least ask my husband to go.
They displayed a blatant disregard for any sort of commitment to their r.s.v.p. and a total lack of gratitude. It is insulting to the host and if I was the OP, I would drop this family from the guest lists for any future events.