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Forum Etiquette - Version 2.0

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Viswamitra, Sep 17, 2017.

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  1. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Netiquette in forums

    The above was a link to a blog I had written in May 2012. I had a chance to read a member's snippet expressing her anguish about someone making negative comments about her story in a different forum. For some strange reason, a handful of misguided individuals respond in a very disruptive and disorderly manner destabilizing the cordial atmosphere and friendship that makes everyone thrive in this wonderful platform. Even though there are moderators for every sub-forum, they can’t be looking for such troubling posts throughout this forum to deal with them properly and often it is necessary for ordinary members to report such posts in IL. Sometimes the members need to stand against such inappropriate bullying and questioning of intelligence of other members who share their creativity with the hope that the encouragement from others would make them thrive and achieve greater heights.

    Personally, I have experienced provocative responses to some of my posts as well sometimes interrupting my direct communication appreciating the contributions of one of the reputed IL members. Generally, I prefer to ignore such provocation and move on even without reporting. It is my humble view that such members are doing it jovially without understanding how such actions could affect the friendship between two members involved.

    In my view, writing in IL is not a contest to determine who is smarter. This is a social forum where the members freely express life experiences, hobbies, books of their interest, love for nature, poetic skills, love for doodles, interest in Carnatic music, excellent recipes, sense of humor (sometimes self-deprecating), health and fitness tips, knowledge of other planets, relationship issues, story writing skills, spiritual thoughts, social awareness, political satire and many more countless subjects of their interest. It is a platform for collaboration to build comradeship and help each other. There is enormous potential here to learn from each other. This is a single platform where people from different generations interact and share their knowledge and experience. There is so much older generation learns from the younger generation and vice versa.

    I am all for freedom of expression and never for over-sensitive reactions for ordinary sense of humor. However, I am against systematic posts that undermine the ability of the members to express themselves or making them vulnerable for provocation or an attempt to strain the relationship among the members. Let us all try to get into the shoes of others and assess how the other members would feel before posting anything. A measured response to any thread is always the key. Moderators have several administrative functions besides monitoring the posts and they do their moderation work voluntarily for the benefit of this Forum. Let us all appreciate their voluntary contributions by conducting ourselves in an orderly manner. Still, mistakes are human and when someone calls that mistake, let us make a concerted effort to apologize.

    I am not writing this with any authority from IL administrators or any moderators for that matter. I am also not writing this as a Hall of Fame member and not even as a senior by age. It is a humble request from an ordinary member to all my friends young and old to maintain the decorum of this wonderful platform by seeking harmony. None of us can assess the frame of mind or circumstances under which the members post here. Let us always given the benefit of doubt to them and be as cordial as possible. Let any advice given with good intention be measured. The positivity threads created in various sub-forums are intended to reduce tension among the members and promote friendship.

    This is not a platform to express our anger, jealousy, hatred, greed and superiority but an opportunity to introspect and eliminate our bad qualities. How we conduct ourselves when we remain anonymous is the best way to assess our character. Let the members provide their measured responses here to demonstrate our strong friendship and unyielding focus on unity.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 19, 2017
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  2. Gauri03

    Gauri03 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Well-written Viswa, and much needed too. It is distressing to see members being mocked and harassed by thoughtless individuals who cannot see beyond their personal amusement. Witticisms and wisecracks are entertaining, but when they turn into a tiresome shtick, they begin to grate on people's nerves. There is a time and a place for everything. The chit chat threads were created with the specific goal of allowing a space for random diversions and digressions. They are meant for open-ended discussion. A thread where the OP is hoping for a sincere, sombre discussion on a weighty subject, or grappling with personal struggles or tragedies is NOT a place for being a smart aleck.
     
  3. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    @Gauri03,

    Thank you for your first response acknowledging the need for such a thread. As you rightly pointed out the chit chat threads are for digression and open-ended discussion. As Periamma pointed out if one feels a story is not up to the mark or the standard one expects, he/she can ignore and move on to other interesting topics. We can never understand the circumstances under which a person makes a post and therefore, it is more important how we respond to such posts. As I pointed out, this place is not a contest and it is just a social gathering where people with different background collaborate to learn from each other. There is no room for slighting another member.

    Hopefully, more will read this snippet and share their valuable comments and thoughts.

    Viswa
     
  4. PavithraS

    PavithraS Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear Viswa Sir- I read your valuable snippet and couldn't agree with you more.
    Put my thoughts in a language I am more comfortable with, i.e. Thamizh பழகுமுறை ! :)
     
  5. kkrish

    kkrish IL Hall of Fame

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    @Viswamitra
    Thank you Viswa for this thread reminding members of this forum on forum etiquette.

    True. I can very well understand how @periamma would have felt.
    When my snippet title and a famous scientist's quote were given perverse connotations I cringed in shame for many days.

    Truer words never said.
    I was just telling my friend the other day that the joy of writing for IL has been robbed from many fronts.
    My last article on Mars took a tremendous toll on me. I wondered if it was the sheer amount of information.
    I realized it was not, because before posting it I read, rewrote, corrected, and rewrote every sentence, every word, praying fervently that none would be subject to ridicule.

    I am very scared to write in IL anymore.
     
  6. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Pavithra,

    Thank you for your response. You are absolutely right about the need to develop a civilized behavior in a forum like this that would encourage people to write more. Anonymity doesn't give license for intimidation.

    Viswa
     
    teenulahari, sindmani and PavithraS like this.
  7. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Kamala,

    It is unfortunate that Periamma had to face such humiliation. Kamala, it is shocking to know that you had experienced intimidation on your snippet's title and a famous scientist's quote referred by you.

    You have been a great contributor and many of us learn so much from your writings. Don't let this intimidation deter you from writing here. As I said, it is not a contest and feel free to express as you like. In fact, IL is a place for socializing with people who we never met with ease. If it makes someone like you feel tense to write here, we need to address such situation right away. In my view, such uncivilized comments should be moderated. Please feel free to report comments that intimidates you and if it is in E P & G, the concerned moderator will address it and respond to you about their action.

    When I say this, I am wondering how many such intimidating responses I had reported in the past. The answer is virtually none. We all have the habit of giving the benefit of doubt to those who write such comments and it is our leniency that actually encourages such uncivilized comments. Freedom of expression and disagreements are part of civilized community as long as they are expressed respectfully and not deterring someone to writer here in IL.

    Viswa
     
  8. hemavijay

    hemavijay Senior IL'ite

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    @Viswamitra
    Thank you very much for this wonderful thread reminding IL members of this forum on forum etiquette. This site is to share, teach and learn many good things and let us not hurt the feelings of others.

    Regards
    Hema
     
  9. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    @hemavijay,

    Thank you for your response. Most of us here are very friendly and enjoy the company of other IL members. As you rightly said we learn from each other. Hopefully, this snippet serves the purpose of educating a few handful of misguided individuals to refrain from attacking other members.

    Viswa
     
    sindmani and hemavijay like this.
  10. shyamala1234

    shyamala1234 Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear Viswamitra,
    Very apt reminder to be polite.
    We may agree or disagree, like or do not like what others have written....but it does not give us the right to intimidate, or insult, or make sarcastic comments. Not only virtual but in real life also. We should me mature enough not to make such remarks or feedbacks.
    At least we can keep quiet.
    That much we can do, I guess.
    Syamala
     
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