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Forgive And Forget..what To Do When Neither Is Easy?

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by Sweety2019, Aug 19, 2019.

  1. Sweety2019

    Sweety2019 Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi all,
    Just need advice..
    everytime you try to forgive or forget the hurt that was created by the person due to their behaviour and words, their presence only reminds you of all the anguish that they have put you through and how your personality changed because of that person.
    In spite of this you do your best to forget, ignore or so..they still tell anything negative about you( small enough maybe you would give it a pass if it were someone else)..
    How do you let it go? How do you forgive and forget..or do even one of it?
     
    Thyagarajan likes this.
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  2. Myliltwincesses

    Myliltwincesses Silver IL'ite

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    Hi Sweety,
    I tried hard to forget or forgive some people in my life, but couldn't do so.I failed miserably. According to me, that relationship doesn't exist anymore.I succeeded in ignoring them. So, whatever they say, doesn't affect me.
    You can try ignoring that person. Treat them like strangers and they will slowly understand that you are not the same person that they once dealt with.
    Some bad experiences teach us a lesson that we could never forget.I made them understand that they aren't anymore important to me without any fights.
    This ignorance really helps me to stay calm and relaxed.
     
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  3. messedup

    messedup Platinum IL'ite

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    You must have heard of the story in which ... the life of the Magician is locked in the body of the Parrot. Get that parrot. I mean know about what they like the most and make habit to serve them daily with that. Slowly they will not be able to hurt you. I do that and it worked for me too. Let's see what others have to say.
     
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  4. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    :hello:How to forget & forgive? Which should be done first?
    First forgive and the things gets diluted and dissolved over a period of time and it will no more weigh as a big load on your chest.
    If forgiven on the spot, it will have very telling effect and even foe can turn into intimate pal.
    One can learn from kids. They attack and get attracted a while later. It comes naturally to them because they don’t keep grudge!
    Wish you all the best.
    God Bless.
     
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  5. Sandyr46

    Sandyr46 Finest Post Winner

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    Ignore them. Let them be. They crave for attention and therefore want u to react to their comments. When u ignore it will burn them more and eventually they'l fade out. Forgive for your own peace. The grudge n hatred would only do more harm to u than them.
     
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  6. Positivity02

    Positivity02 Silver IL'ite

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    Forgive & ignore but don't forget. Those are the life lessons to keep in mind. It helps to shield oneself from future similar bitter experiences.
    Life is too short to make same mistakes after all :blush:
     
  7. Sweety2019

    Sweety2019 Bronze IL'ite

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    I have tried the ignore mechanism and that turned into a even bigger scene that I'm the bad person. They never realised my behaviour is because the way they treated me..
    A blame game started and in the end I was told only I am at fault..
    And all of this deep down changed the person I was..and I feel so lost..
    I wish I could go back in time and hold on & support the person that I was..
     
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  8. Sweety2019

    Sweety2019 Bronze IL'ite

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    Well the problem is I am a normal human being..when I keep giving, at some point there an expectation I will get something in return..
    How can I be so selfless to a person that has hurt me so much?? Any tips please..
     
  9. Sweety2019

    Sweety2019 Bronze IL'ite

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    Too short..very true!!
     
  10. Sweety2019

    Sweety2019 Bronze IL'ite

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    Forgive the past or also the present(if they hurt me at the instance)
    And from your perspective does forget take a long time?? Have you had any situation of this sort?
     
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