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Forget Detachment, Attach.

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by HariLakhera, Sep 22, 2019.

  1. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    :hello:Delighted with this holistic thought provoking response.
     
  2. Nandhu19

    Nandhu19 New IL'ite

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    From my experience,I learn one thing that these "Attachments" and "Detachments" are all some state of mind (Sort of Maya)..the think that we feel attached today will make us detached tomorrow..And if we concentrate on detaching ourselves ,it will make us bound to that unknowingly....Situations and time plays the vital role in our life than any others emotions or materialistic things.As krishna said in Mahabharatha,by just doing our work mindfully without seeking any outcomes ,we might see the completeness in everything.Eventually it will give the fulfillment at the end,sametime we will not attached or detached to anything ...
     
  3. Afresh

    Afresh Gold IL'ite

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    Beautiful thought!
    And respect to that!
     
  4. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    :hello:If one works for attachment or detachment that also becomes a detachment or attachment . I am making an attempt to take the discussions to a higher level.

    2. We are in democracy and we have majority for attachment and this majority has already realised climate changes and global warming due to certain attachments and now striving to detach from some attachments and attach to Nature called environs extended even upto space to protect ozone layer.

    3. At lower levels people detach from their MILs, SILs, BILs and or even from their Spouse and kids.
    4. Divorce celebrations also due to amicable or disagreeable detachments. If compartments are attached it is a journey could be a sojourn.
    5. Detached they are shunted in the yard back and forth. Life is like that.
    6. One has to be careful before deciding to study the attachments. They could be suspects and trojans!

    7. It is nightmarish for some when papers are shown to them that their properties are attached. Certain departments do it with vengeance or and rejoice in attaching properties of their opponents, another form of attachment par excellence!

    8. But it is interesting to note what Ms Sudha Murthy writes about this A & D.
    Here is a copy:*
    Attachment in Detachment ----- Written by Sudha Murti

    When my daughter, the older of my two, wed and left home, I felt a part of me gone.
    With a daughter and a son, I know what both mean, differently. When she was in her teens I felt as if she was my "physical extension" !

    So when she left home to set up her own, I felt I lost a limb.

    Next time she came to stay with us, I was astonished how her priorities had changed. We too must've given the same shocks to our own parents !

    When she said Amma,
    she meant her mother-in-law, not me!
    I felt she was always in a hurry to go back to her house and not stay with me for a few more days. That was the first time, it dawned on me that I have to start practising detachment with attachment.


    Two years after my daughter’s marriage, my son left for higher studies to US.
    Having experienced a child's separation once, I was better equipped emotionally. I plunged head long into various classes held in the city starting from vedanta to healing to ikebana -

    I just wanted to be away from home..since my husband was a 24/7 workaholic. My son used to write how he was missing my home cooked food, how he was waiting to come back to live in Chennai with us ...

    After a few years, he did come back and we got him married.

    He started living separately with his wife and we were also happy that they wanted to be independant from the beginning...
    But now, it was all changed ! When in the U S, he missed my cooking, now if I called him to come over with his wife for a meal, it was always some excuse like "oh, amma, we have other plans for the day, please don't mistake us if we don't drop in today" !

    I could see that his priorities had also changed completely..

    We talk so many things and give so much advice to others, but when it comes to our own children, acceptance comes very late. Our next step is to just leave them undisturbed in every way.
    It was at that time, that I made the following, my 'new profile'.

    In all my relationships , rather interactions, I give my best and do my best to live up to what I say.
    My attachment with them is complete.


    However, I remain detached in the sense that I do not expect them to reciprocate my affection.
    Most importantly, I make a conscious effort , not to interfere or pass judgements on the lives they choose to lead. My concern for my near and dear ones will not fade with my detachment.

    If you let go of the ones you love, they will never go away –

    this is the beauty of attachment with detachment !


    I have learnt to love and let go. This dictum has developed tolerance in me. When I let the people live the way they want to, I learn to accept them for what they are. Most importantly ,
    I learn to tolerate the world around me and this tolerance brings in me a sense of peace and contentment.


    Since both my children live in Chennai, I follow this very strictly, you know why ! Now I have realised that we start growing mentally much more only after the children leave the house and we have to tackle the emotional vacuum, that arises, along with age-related problems .

    Please develop your own intersts, hobbies etc, however mundane they seem to be..We must learn
    To love whatever we do instead of Doing whatever we love !!


    [*with gratitude to Sudha Murti]

    Thanks and Regards.
     
  5. jayasala42

    jayasala42 Finest Post Winner

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    Even the mails about detachment come with attachments!
    jayasala42
     
  6. HariLakhera

    HariLakhera Platinum IL'ite

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    Thanks. Keep it up. Loving everyone and everything around us ensures a good future. By loving and remaining attached to them to the end, we make them good citizens and the society gets benefitted. We grow plants trees and love them and remain attached to them so that someone in future will pluck the flowers or fruits.
    It is a win win situation.
     
  7. HariLakhera

    HariLakhera Platinum IL'ite

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    I think UN is seized of the subject and our dear PM Modi must have made a strong pitch. It is not only the environment, it is everyone and everything around us, we have to protect to the end. Above all the material possessions we leave behind will be useful to coming generations. The creator of Mona Lisa must have been very much attached to the real or the pictorial image of her and it is because of his unflinched attachment that thousands go and see the painting. One has to be passionate about his or her possessions in life and to the end.
     
  8. HariLakhera

    HariLakhera Platinum IL'ite

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    (We have been told, we have read and we tried too. And then comes the often repeated caution that only one among millions reach there.)

    The subject is too complex and my understanding is not even a drop in the ocean. There are some simple rules I follow. One, do good and be good and that good is my good. Two, do your duty with utmost honesty and hard work and figure out why results were not on expected lines and take remedial actions. Three, do your best and be prepared for the worst. Four, free yourself from expectations as far as possible. Our miseries are the direct and in same proportion of our expectations. Higher the expectations, greater the disappointment.
    Believe me, I am a very pragmatic person. I have learned to accept things as they come. It is so easy.
     
  9. HariLakhera

    HariLakhera Platinum IL'ite

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    Good rejoinder. This is what Jayasala Ma'am also said, attachment with detachment. On lower level, we get detached once our tummy is filled. Like no attachment with food till the tummy rumbles incohesively.
     
    Thyagarajan likes this.
  10. HariLakhera

    HariLakhera Platinum IL'ite

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    Syamalji,
    Exactly. Stay attached to the end. It pays not in countable terms but in self realization. Only thing no expectations in return. May be our attachment will benefit someone in future. The mango tree my parents planted is bearing fruits for us. They remained attached to the tree and to us till the last. It is human.
     

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