Editor's Note: Dear IL'ites, samal has shared some wonderful facts on what makes a marriage stronger and safer and is featured here. Please have a look and share it with your friends. samal, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with us. It has been chosen as he best of forums. Congratulations! ----------------------------- Thanks to all ILs who had posted their threads on “What women had to do for a Happy married life”. I agree with every point they had listed in their posts. Sorry to state this. It sounds like everyone knows not to lie, but still they lie. Why? Here, I have given my version of Happy, more importantly Safe married life. Post ur suggestions, if required. Be aware that marriage is a package that comes with pain. Be ready to face it. Sound negative, but this is the true. So no too much expectations… Try to understand your husband and other members in the new family. Give some time for it. Never hurry for the baby. Overnight change will not happen. Enjoy the honeymoon period…………. Try to have small discussions and understand what your husband expects from his wife. Know his tastes. Likewise, you slowly convey, what you expect from ur husband. Find, where you don’t match and be cautious on that. Dress according to his taste often(we do need to dress to our likes). Not necessary every day. Some men like homely look, some modern look. Try both and find which attracts him. Whole day may not be possible, at least when DH returns from office, keep ur look fresh. Bath and makeover will also help. Keep ur house arranged and kids neatly dressed. Doing this even brings good energy in you. Spend time together going out weekly. Make ur kid more attached to their father. This will save your marriage. Evening, take tea together and have small chat. Tell him, what ur kid did in that day. When he is at home, establish your presence. Ask ur DD or ds to give him a glass water as soon as he enters the house. If you happen to be with joint family, try to be a working DIL. Let your DH spent for the family and you do the saving for ur kids. Discuss to dh on plan and investments If inlaws plays trick, ignore or irritate you, do not respond to it. Show them nothing will work with you. At least pretend you are unaffected. If not, don’t complain to ur dh, make him watch the drama. At one point they will drop. You only need little patience. Don’t complain about his family members on his face or in front of them and expect him to support you in front of them. You will get disappointed. There is always a time for everything, wait for it. Instead of saying your mother not helping me, just tell him your mother gets tired as she is sick or old. Ask him for the suggestion. First time, it may not work. Keep repeating with due interval. . It will work. Never entertain them to give comments on your parents or visit to ur parent’s house. If they try to stop, be bold enough to say your parents are as important as his parents. It is common to have misunderstandings and fights. Do not carry it for more than three days. Too much of adjusting will make him take advantage on you. Realize, where you have to break it. Maintaining fair distance with inlaws also helps good relationship in joint family. Keep urself occupied. Take care of urself first and then expect others to care you.