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first step toward's changing my life after seperation

Discussion in 'Life Without Spouse' started by sharmilarathore, Jul 1, 2012.

  1. sharmilarathore

    sharmilarathore New IL'ite

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    Hi friend
    1)I just left my husband (settled outside india) after going thru two year's of physical abuse, finally came back to india. tried waiting for 6 month, then extended another 6 month and finally it was 2 years no change in him and when i left he started to blame my character. I have done lot of sacrifice when he had problem in his career life, now he went top in his career and really doing good, but he doesn't care about me and always says that i am dumb and stupid person, who has nothing good to do in her life and use to threatened me he won't file my permanent resident. sometime i feel he may have affair but i don't know for sure. He use to hit me once a week. I just informed my family and came back to india. I want to know from IT people that my husband keep track on my e-mail in some ways, he doesn't have my password. twice he came to know things which even i didn't told my parents that too after seperation. is their any other ways to peep in other people email accounts. I always felt he is too fishy and too smart.

    2)I am planing to study PG and i am a commerce graduate and turning 30 this year. I am bit confused which course i should take MBA IT or MCM. I want to get into software testing. I want to do something good for my family who went thru this with lot of pain emotionally and financially.
    :drowning
     
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  2. ivlakshmi

    ivlakshmi Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi,
    Yes, he might have hacked your account and it is very much possible that he can know the password whe you are with him.. since you are away, just change all the passwords and also check filters in gmail/yahoo accounts..if your mails are getting forwarded. You don't have to do an MBA to get in to s/w testing..You can just learn the course in good training centre which shows openings.
     
  3. eandian

    eandian IL Hall of Fame

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    Close your email account if possible. (Dont forget to copy all needed contacts in a word document before closing). Then open a new email account and try to hide this account as much as possible from him and common friends. He could have fooled a common friend to forward your email and that friend might be thinking that he is helping you both get back together. Important - Since he might be watching this old account, make sure you never link the new and old account in any form.

    If it is not possible to close the account, change the password frequently and also change the password recovery questions asap. For those questions make sure you give false answers so that he cannot guess them.

    It is possible to find out the locations from which your account has been logged into during the last 10 sessions. Keep checking them frequently.

    Make sure his email id is not given as the supplementary email id for your account. In that case, all he has to do it request the password to be sent to that account. Remove such links.
     
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  4. Hachiko

    Hachiko Gold IL'ite

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    You should change you password,secret password questions and try to block his email id.Check your email setting and do the necessary changes.There is a possibility of him knowing your password but pretending not to know.Regarding your PG studies.You know better.What you are as now? Maybe you could choose something related to your profession..All the best
     
  5. positivegal

    positivegal Gold IL'ite

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    Character assasination--- First thing some men do to weaken separated wife.

    I think in this situ. finding a Job is very imp. It makes you Independent and gives confidence.

    First priority should be your wellbeing than helping parents financially. You can think about them once you are fine.
     
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  6. Uttaraa

    Uttaraa Platinum IL'ite

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    1) Create a new account as safest approach.

    2) Not sure on the course details but while studying if you can take up part-time job, go for it.

    The best you can do is STAYING HAPPY! Nothing would make your parents beam with pride on seeing that you have left your past behind and moved on. Once you start earning, you can assist your parents financially. Till then ace in your studies as if your life depended on it.
     
  7. flowerlady

    flowerlady IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear OP,
    Do you intend to apply for divorce or is the separation is just a cooling off period??
    If D is on the cards then be very careful as info can be used as evidence. It can be a murky process. Hope you have collected all evidence of DV and abuse.
    Think with your head and not with your heart, this is where generally women fail and get cheated , abused and betrayed.
    Make a new email account to be on the safe side.
    Be wary of common friends /relatives who could be passing on info to H .
    Please make a life for yourself, your parents will be happy to see you as an independent working woman.
     
  8. jasminepatra

    jasminepatra Silver IL'ite

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    in testing, if you want to get into bids / customer facing roles / consulting etc, then mba is useful . if you want to get into a project, then graduation will be ok.

    regular mba will take up 1- 2 yrs of your time, depending on the institute, but you will get placement options (depending on coll) . also regular mba entrance will be in oct month onwards, and coll will start by next yr may - june, so it will meant 1 yr waste for you. and unless you get in good ranked coll with good placement history, mba is not of much use in terms of good paying jobs. preparing for mba is also tough, as its online and has maths & analyticals and english.

    if you have prior work exp, i suggest you look for job now. once you start working, you can continue your PG aspirations by part - time courses.

    for jobs, update your resume (check online on current formats / best resumes) , and then upload on all job sites. next create a linked in profile and update your resume. join the career groups so that you get to know the openings. reserch on companies that have testing as a large division and follow that company / division. third, get in touch with your friends in india and ask them to refer your resume. look out in papers for any walk ins / job offers. forth, find out email ids of placement agencies contacts and mail them ur resume, and follow up with mailers once a week.

    read up on testing related news and keep yourself updated. most important, be patient with job search.

    all the best!
     
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  9. Foundlove

    Foundlove Gold IL'ite

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    Dear OP,
    I see you are in India. I am nowadays hearing about being a Govt College professor or even teacher in school is very good salary.
    The 6th pay commission has given very good pay scales to teachers and professors. Look into that.
    For school teachers starting pay is about Rs25,000. You may have to do Bed for that. For college professors, masters and also having Net/set cert is a must.

    Also think about what you are good at. You could be running a Boutique if you can stitch well, be a nurse if you like science and helping patients. Getting into IT is good but you need to read a few books and see if you are comfortable with it.
    Good luck
    FL
     
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  10. DrKadambari

    DrKadambari Gold IL'ite

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    If its gmail yes its possible just in case he had your password long ago when you were with him, he would have set mail forwarding option or there is another option where you can grant him access to your mails, even if you change password, it would work. May be he has done it. Go check your settings if there is anything as such done. Let us know once u check.

    He speaks bad about you, care a damn, dont even bother to keep a tab on him.

    About your career I would suggest you to do a testing course, where companies provide training and placements, do good research and get into something like that and then do your Masters part time. Job would give you better confidence.

    Good luck
     

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