Thanks Manisha Singh Well, I have always been practical with money, would ask my friends to give me back the money they owe after 3 months or so when I was in college... I think I loved my H too much to see any imbalances. I agree, was foolish. I wont lie, I have actually given up on him. The hurt and the feeling of betraying ( not me my children!), is not letting me see thru his 'innocence'. I am working on marriage by getting detached emotionally and financially, if it makes any sense. This inturn is making my breakdowns less lunatic over these 3 years, else I used to have breakdowns everytime I tried to ask or explain to him. Now I just dont. Good or bad, we arnt arguing anymore ( I dont see any hope so). Hopefully this induced calm will give him and me more perspective. We are just cordial to each other and speak to each other casually ( not lovingly). Sad no?. Well cest la vie!! On the job.. you are right...I am actually trying for that as I feel gloomy.