Financial assistance - Double standard.

Some parents may genuinely require financial assistance. But, for all others, I would say it is only selfishness, and a sense of entitlement.

Not attempting to hide it. I know some girls, but not all girls, are discriminated against by parents. To say all girls are discriminated against by parents, because of their gender, would be a generalization I am not qualified to make.

My grandparents (both sides) never expected their sons to pay their bills. They did not demand monthly or annual expenditure from their sons. I do see this on DH's side of the family, though.

I have seen elder sons having to give money and gifts, even when not required. I have also seen the younger son who is expected to contribute if elder one is not well - settled, and that too when their parents are quite well - off.

I have also heard of an incident where parents are reluctant to marry off their daughter because they would lose out on her paycheck.

With these parents, the 'We are parents and it is your responsibility to send money' mentality is there. Even if the money is not required for them to maintain their comfortable lifestyle. Here, I find selfishness and entitlement at play. Perhaps they regretted having a son, spending their youth looking after him, so they consoled themselves with - its ok, he will act as my future pension scheme. Perhaps they are looking at what they can get out of their sons, maximizing their return on investment, nothing more.

Sadly, we can only find reasons and speculate, the ones who can solve this problem are the parents themselves.

 

OMG!! I never knew boys are called 'fasal'!! whaatsmiley

Calling a girl 'paraya dhan' can be sad enough though it may also be taken in an affectionate manner.

But calling a son 'fasal' is so downright disgusting!

I wonder how the poor boy feels, especially when his own mother uses such words for him.

It is like indirectly telling him that he is expected to repay in doubles to all that is given to him in his life!!

 

Sure, I will read it.

I hope you will not take my comments personally, SGBV. I am not trying to criticize. This is just what I feel on the subject. Please don't get me wrong.

 

I haven't heard her say it about her sons in front of me.
Heard her talking to her friend who had come visiting ...I was serving tea.
MIL:Tere do do bete hain.Pehli fasal taiyaar hai...agli 2-3 saal mein taiyaar ho jaegi.(you have two sons...your first crop is ready for harvest....the next will be ready in 2-3 years.)
My mil has two sons too....She also has the same entitlement issues....won't be surprised if she talks about them like that behind their backs.

One day I heard her friend call her sons as hundis.....at that time I didn't know what hundi was...I thought it was the pot used for religious purpose ,but had my doubts because of the tone of the conversation.

Hundis