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Fil Wants Us To Buy A Property Around 2kms Radius Of His Home

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Archana11, Jun 14, 2018.

  1. Archana11

    Archana11 Silver IL'ite

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    Just a vent
    My husband got a pre approved home loan and we started looking for a property from January. We looked almost 50+ properties till now around his area. Either they are too costly or badly constructed. I started looking a little far from his place like 5 to 6 kms away. Even if the property is within our budget just because its far he is not ok with it. He does not say it directly. When asked about opinion he says its far and keeps quite. If we say we want to buy it, he says your wish its your property and then my husband takes a back step. For some properties if my husband is ok to buy, immediately he gets a call from his paternal uncle who is a lawyer giving his opinion on how bad is the area, or how costly it is or assuming some land litigation might be there and again my husband drops the idea of buying it. Home loan time of 6 months will be completed soon and if we still want to go for it we need to pay extra and extend it for few more months. From January my routine is : search for property online, give all the details to hubby, he will ask me to request my parents or my sister to go see the property, take photos and videos of the property and surrounding and give extract location on google maps for him to take a look. Once all this is done, he will give this address to his father to go and check. He comes back with a reason not to take. Im fed up and wasted a lot of time, mine as well my parents. Dont know if we ever be able to biy something
     
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  2. mangaii

    mangaii Gold IL'ite

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    Unless your husband or FIL does the real work they will not understand the hard work put forth by your family. I would say remove your family members from this house hunting process. Tell your husband to ask his dad to choose. Then for second round use your family. Right now your husband and FIL are enjoying the work of your people. They will not value their time. It is easy for them to reject. The reason is your husband will always side with his side of family for big decision like buying house. On the other hand if your family choose something your FIL will find faults on it and this will eventually strain relationship between husband and your side of family. Better save the relationship . With FIL like yours it doesn't matter you buy house in 2km or 5km radius.
     
    sindmani, MalStrom, ashima10 and 5 others like this.
  3. shravs3

    shravs3 Finest Post Winner

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    Yes it’s better you stop asking your sis or parents to involve in property search . Since the final say is from your FIL let him only search it. And regarding the lawyer uncle stop involving him too, who knows he may be jealous of you buying property and so on. Instead choose some other lawyer ! Tell your hubby to ask your FIL to search in quick pace or instead you people visit personally instead of depending on others
     
    sindmani likes this.
  4. Archana11

    Archana11 Silver IL'ite

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    Thanks Mangaii and Shravs for response.
    My parents started a restaurant business in second week of may and they are super busy and sister is also using her spare time to set up the hotel and help my dad to maintain it.
    Now the situation is they cannot help us. We have no properties left in our area. If we want to go for this home loan we have to look in other places. FIL not ready to go to far places and check the property. My husbands friends were helpful initially for some properties like my parents. They used to go and get required photos and videos of the property but inspite of such help we could not zeroed any property and now even friends are busy ( might be fed up like us). Now the situation is my husband informs his dad, xyz property available in ABC area and FIL says its far and matter closed.
    If this home loan time is up, again we need to pay application fee and go through all the paper work again.
    Last year in May, Husband friend bought a plot in an area which is very far like 25kms from my place and told us about it. It was far from my place but was very close to an IT hub and will develop in coming years and an outer ring road is also planned from that area to the IT hub. So I bought a plot with my savings. My FIL was against it and cribbed a lot. Now also he reminds about how we bought plot far away and also curses his friend for advising us to buy.
     
  5. shravs3

    shravs3 Finest Post Winner

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    Oh tats too much ..It can be treated as just an investment why is he worried ?
     
  6. mimi77

    mimi77 Gold IL'ite

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    Remove your FIL from the home hunting process..... You finalise it with your husband and then invite FIL for a cup of coffee at your new home... ..
     
  7. CoolPie

    CoolPie Silver IL'ite

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    Finalise the property. Dont involve anyone other than husband. Buy it and then invite your FIL.
     
  8. nakshatra1

    nakshatra1 Gold IL'ite

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    In my opinion it's a great idea to buy property near to in-laws . That way you can check up on their well-being regularly and be there for them in times of emergency . You can take them to doc when needed and you can make sure everything in their home and life taken care off and functioning properly .
    Instead if u live far off, you will be eventually forced to move in with them .So a house nearby , even if costs more , is good for long run .
    This is my perspective from imagining your DH is the only child and he has responsibilities of parents . Please ignore if not relevant .
     
  9. Archana11

    Archana11 Silver IL'ite

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    Because it very far from his place.
     
  10. Archana11

    Archana11 Silver IL'ite

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    Thank you mimi77 and coolpie...my husband said my dad has to like the property. I can't help and just have to wait and see.
     

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