Fil Sending Texts To Our Friends

My FIL is very nosy, and interfering type of person, in addition to all these, he of course, has a lot of other vices..whenever he came to stay with us in the past, he takes phone numbers of whoever friends visit us, our neighbours even those with whom we dont keep close relations with..adds them on whatsapp..this is very uncomfortable for me, initially I thought its just his nature/behaviour..but sometimes I found that he has been sending messages texts etc to them behind our back to enquire about us...We talked to him about it but he doesnt mend his ways...Like any normal family, we keep private things to ourselves or share with just close people, sometimes there are issues that we dont want to share with ILs or anybody at home..for eg, some days if SIL wants to chat with us on skype we can find some excuse like we are out etc..but at the back of our minds, its always like FIL is keeping a tab on us....this attitude of his is looking very creepy...Last time when we visited India, we were house hunting and we were taking uber cabs a lot of times, so there was one which was kind of fixed....to that cab driver, he is divulging a lot of stuff about us, as in we are from usa, looking for houses, where we work, what kind of doctors we visit here etc..it was shocking to me..then one day one friend whom I have met after 15 yrs, came and met for a cup of tea at my ILs home, he just took her phone number and keeps sending here texts, like (how are you beti, etc).....more than me, he keeps a tab on my and my DH friends....has anyone been in this situation or what are you guys suggest?

 

haha loved your post...I would love to ghumaofy him and in fact tried too but DH becomes senti, afetall its his dad..
Yes he is retired, but full of energy and enthusiasm, not in a good way, when its time to pay with his grandson, he becomes lay when its time for his "fun"stuff like this, he is all active, he pretends not able to hear me as per his whims and fancies..I hate to say but I really abhor him, and try best to avoid to talk to him, and now since he hasnt mend his ways, neither is he going to, he is going to have to stay away from me..no more his visits. else I am leaving the home..

 

Thanks!

I know, how irritating it is, I have so much disliking for old men who don't behave their age..I always avoid him and I think he knows that he has the "power" to irritate me, he enjoys it definitely.

We told him not to share such info with autowala or cabdrivers, he is going around relatives telling that we are restricting him..he makes fun of us saying we are paranoid by not being free to talk to any person on the road.....he doesn't do that with BIL family, this that he is faithful to aggressive BIL irks me the most, my DH is softie he exploits this fact.. I did consider avoiding friends when he is around, but its not possible if he stays for longer duration, there are also some acquaintances who secretly enjoy the family drama and FIL really makes a show of our family..

 

My MIL is very much around him, she plays politics in kitchen dept and He plays it outside, both are big politicians, both are constantly on phone talking to my SIL or BIL and giving live commentary of our home matters while when they go to their place, they forget calling or even picking up our phones....enjoy creating havoc in our married life :-( right now their B2 visa is expired and DH wanted to go for their renewal..I am expecting our second child, sponsoring visa renewal for my mom..so DH said since we are doing the paperwork, lets get it done for them, and we just finished arguing over why we need a breather after having a delivery and getting back right on track with our routine, with my job search etc..in all those tensions, I dont want them here as I need some peace..

 

Yes, we know some of our friends who got his messages, when we confronted FIL about it expressing shock why you are directly sending texts to them, he shamelessly says he is just saying hi hello, or he is just sending fwd messages (which is not true completely), these things are so vague, he can easily refuse he is not doing anything while we have proof (our friend showing his cellphone)..we have tried first in a polite way as he is elder (i have finished my time patience giving him benefits of doubts, i dont care if he is elder or what not) so he shud not get embarrassed..DH will always forgive him..

I dont know how to ignore them because whenever DH and me have arguments, he agrees my pov but also wants to always give his parents benefit of doubt, makes senti comments like they are already old, why make things complicated etc.....I have tried best not to talk to them but DH calls them daily for 5 to 10 min while going to office....but yah I am very strict about my privacy..I am not going to compromise on it..