Feeling very jealous and angry at the same time !!!!

The fear, jealousy and hard feelings usually comes out of insecurity. You may not know how insecure you are about yourself and your present life. It may be something like your inferiority about being less qualified or less richer than your in laws. It is not always the case with every normal person.

Needless to say how bad people my in laws were. Even then, I had no hard feelings about my BIL's education, salary raise or even the wealthy background of my co-sisters. Because I am one very strong woman, who has a very high value about myself. I never count myself any lesser than anyone. So, what others gain or loose seldom affect my mind.

It is true, sometimes we do feel bad about some extra positive news or luck of a mean person. But it never comes up this way as jealousy, fear or insecurity to post a thread like this.

Girl, you are a supper, sweet, excellent and nice woman of your own. No one can be compared with you, as everyone has their own unique life with their own set of ups and downs.

Your SIL may be proud about her DH, so what?
I am also proud about my DH, and many others here including you are also the same. Take it that way.
If she blabber something irritating or rudely, then take it easy. Tell her you are also happy, proud about her DH. More importantly, you are bit relieved because of the fact that her DH is supper rich or qualified. Because many women suffer because of their poor, vulnerable and needy SILs. Take it positively, and show it out. They will stop hurting you.

If they are supper rich, then what?
You may be rich in something else... May be a good H, good kids, good health.. Think about it. Do not always compare.

I am following your other threads too. If I put it bluntly, I feel you are suffering from inferiority complex in general (not with SIL only). Please consider addressing this issue

 

You can't force yourself to feel good if you don't really feel good about it.Just accept the reality so that you are prepared for what you fear.Also try to look at what all you have and you will realize you have enough to be happy yourself.

Make sure you act normal and don't show your jealousy ....as it may show you in bad light.Cheers girl....you have a long life ahead to achieve your wishes too.:cheers

 

Learn to be not the stupid,easy to walk over type.You need to work on your confidence Op.just because you are not highly qualified or do not have a high paying job doesn't mean you can't be confident.Just work to be best at whatever you do.

If people try to walk over you....then make yourself unavailable for them.Let the awesome daughter and co-sister have them over and show them a good life.....your company should be conditional to how they make you feel .if they put you down...then you have a good excuse to avoid them. Get an attitude and tell them you don't want to be around negativity .Be around people who value you.

 

it is natural to have these feelings, just don't let it effect you so much. We all are given different roads to reach our potential. His is through Harvard. Don't give any importance to what your MIL and SIL say, since you already know their nature. Don't look down upon yourself, instead resolve to try harder and become a better person in everything, everyday of your life. If you are happy and satisfied, no one can undermine you.

 

Seems like you are measuring your life and happiness with money and how much better your life is compare to others ( in this case your SIL). Why?

Question you should ask yourself, r u happy with your current life? would you change anything from your married life.

Let me tell you one thing. Money is important in life but don't give it too much importance where you can't enjoy what you have. Appreciate what you have and you think something is missing , work hard to achieve that. Jealousy towards anyone won't get you anything.

Also, think about your DH positively.Look at his positive virtues rather than worrying about someone else's DH having higher degree/more money. You need change in attitutde.

Because tomorrow someone else you know may get bigger home/bigger car and you would start comparing your happiness with that. It seems like you think person on another side "most happy person" and doens't have any sorrow.. Don't think everyone has their sorrow in life and happiness in life. So live your happiness and be happy.

 

When I first read this essay by C.S. Lewis somewhere in my early teens, it made a deep impression on me. I never forgot it. Maybe it will help you.

OP, if you give it free rein, this feeling of envy never goes away. Inside the ring you are on, there is always another more exclusive one that you are outside of. I know tenured Harvard scientists / department heads who gaze wistfully at their Nobel laureate colleagues and right-place-right-time successes gnashing their teeth at True Genius. I've met Nobel laureates who dismiss multi-millionaire mover-shaker scientists with choice simian adjectives and successful scientists who try to steal glory that belongs to another. This never ends.

Think of the inside of your head as a democracy, with many contentious voices. There are good citizens and then there are the idiots. As it is anywhere else, the idiots are always louder. Just make sure they don't hijack the agenda.

Watch your thoughts dispassionately, but regulate your actions.

And lastly, if you have truly recognized the value of education, then get to work. Take a leaf from Zhang's book. He made his first contribution at 57.

PS: Make sure your BIL leaves some of those millions to scientific research. :rotfl