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Feeling Lonely

Discussion in 'Friends & Neighbours' started by sensitivegal, Feb 1, 2017.

  1. sensitivegal

    sensitivegal Silver IL'ite

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    hi ladies,
    Little did I knew that I would face this kind of situation when I chose passion as my profession. I have already created thread before where in I said I am the only Indian at work place and what all cultural issues I am facing. I am not able to make a friendly relationship at office.They all are good.. it just that I don't feel connected to them.. I try to fit in .. by talking similar topics.. sharing some similar stuffs. But at the end of the day I know I am different. I don't want to lose my identity as an Indian. Their life style is way too different than us. Somehow they all end up not being friendly with me or the other way around.
    I have recently joined to a graduate course. I was super excited but there also I don't have Indian friends.. it is wonderful feeling to meet people with different culture. Although they interact well.. they are not like friends way back in our college days in India. I sometime feel like quitting my passion. Pursuing computer science course as I will likely to get friends and feel comfortable. But I don't want to do it.. little confused.. since I am very busy with office and college .. I am getting little time to meet my Indian friends whom I know them personally.
    I feel very very lonely.. this discomfort is affecting my work life. Please suggest something and share your ideas. Thank you
     
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  2. sensitivegal

    sensitivegal Silver IL'ite

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    So many views?!?! Still no replys:astonished:
     
  3. penpaal

    penpaal Gold IL'ite

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    You are looking for friends at work!! I wonder how people can help you with that?:openmouth:
    May be you can watch some serial else follow some sports which will help you find some common topics to discuss with colleagues ..
     
    sindmani likes this.
  4. BeingSoulful

    BeingSoulful Silver IL'ite

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    Dear OP,

    I have been thru this phrase & my situation being the same. I have been working for a year now. But I could gradually connect with my team with time. The first 6-7 months were just very casual (GM/GE) but with time we talked more about ourselves, our cultures, food, places and now personal too. I feel the uncommon topics between you guys will give you more ground for a conversation and to build a connect.

    Now, I completed one year with my ER and have made a few friends, they invite us over their gatherings & parties. Its about time & effort. Be positive, things will change for good, be open for the new experiences. You may not feel like home here (friends & colleagues back in India) but you wont feel this lonely for sure. You may never got over this home sick feeling but see the positive side of being where you are. And lastly, you are different at workplace and that what makes you special and powerful not weak.

    My best wishes! :)
     
    sindmani and sensitivegal like this.
  5. shri0218

    shri0218 Silver IL'ite

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    Hi,

    I'm in the same situation as you are in. In my team there is another Indian but she is already Americanized! I don't know how to explain that ..though I tried talking ..I couldn't connect with her. Rest are really nice ..they greet, help but it's not like I can share personal stuff like a friend. hope things get better for us :)
     
    sensitivegal likes this.
  6. Cantdecide

    Cantdecide Silver IL'ite

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    Maybe you can try to see the nice aspects of making friends who aren't just Indian - there must be some thing you guys can have in common - the same passions, similar temperament - friends can come in all shapes and sizes. :) If you want to remain in the US, long-term it is probably best to have a mix of friends so you don't feel like you lose your identity, but you also feel like you have something in common with your US friends. It does take some time to adjust, and I think no matter the cultural background - it's hard to find a GOOD friend!!

    Can you try joining some local meetups or other cultural groups to find other Indian friends?
     
    sensitivegal likes this.
  7. RajLakshmi9

    RajLakshmi9 New IL'ite

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    You can go to temple or cultural meetings and volunteer. You will find someone. College day friendships are different. There we stay together for 3-4 years in a row meeting each day except for Sundays. Here, we are grownups, mature, calculate and most of us have busy and personal lives. At work place it is competitive and we have to follow rules and regulations. I have friends but 80% of them are from other countries. I meet Indians when I volunteer or at events. They add up to my list and some of them stay in touch. I talk to them and share some of my personal but not all. They are all friends not best (like in school/college).
     

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