[JUSTIFY]Hello everyone, i dono if i have already told this here.. when my son was 11 months old (it was just last year end) i was surprised to know i had conceived again! adding to that surprise my DH came down with Chicken pox... and i had a hell of a time managing my 11 month old alone who wanted his dad all the time all alone.. .my mom came down to help... by that time my son too was infected and diagnosed with chicken pox... when we were about to tell mom about the pregnancy (another grand child for her!) i too was infected (though mild infection few boils)... when we were about to come out of this thing... general physician we went to for some medicine to get relief from itching of boils said i shouldnt continue with this pregnancy! :spin he said the child will be deformed (they wont have brain development (as in no brain at all) or limbs missing (hand or feet missing) or other deformities!) and even if no deformity baby wont survive much and i had to go for abortion (i fought with DH to keep it however the baby might be.. .he too agreed but on point that we check with gyn first about the same... ) we visited a good gyn (far from our home up and down 2 hours travel time!).. he too was against me keeping the kid... but said will check again in week's time (it was just 1.5 month so told me to come in 2 weeks for check up and then decision) GOD had other plans... while going for checkup second time... i miscarried the fetus on the way there (i was bleeding like hell... thank god i didnt swoon seeing that much blood!) again in the hospital+clinic i was told to wait.. (lost more blood there).. i was feeling dizzy (when i told the nurse so.. i was rushed to gyn who gave me tab to abort completely) after taking that i was feeling more dizzy... but was told to change to a hospital gown (that too they didnt help me i did it myself... i had to clean my bloody clothes too(told me not to discard anything but wash :rant)... i was about to swoon seeing (i am not able to type it) but still cleaned and dumped in a bag) and was told to lie down... after sometime bleeding was less and felt better.. was under observation for 3-4 hours (dono how DH managed DS alone that too a 11 month old then! thank god he was with me during the checkup... :bowdown i cant think what would i do if i was all alone!) we came back home... (i was feeling so bad that i lost my babu...) now also when i see my son i remember this and feel hurt sad guilty about my babu...(the lost one)... i cant get over it... outwardly no1 comes to know not even DH but i feel it everytime i watch DS in front... it really hurts... i dono how to get it out of my system... sorry just a vent (felt like typing it out when i read people saying and congratulating each other about second one or third!) ammani :shock::-| [/JUSTIFY] PS: MOD if its in wrong place please move!