Feeling Depressed With My Life. Need Suggestions Part 1

Hello Everyone,

I'm not a woman but a married man for little over 3 years who has come here regularly for suggestions whenever I couldn't find a place where I could discuss my life issues.Currently, I'm in a stage of life where I feel deeply depressed and unhappy to a point where I feel like going recluse or a death a pleasant relief.Let me tell you where it all started. It may be long rant/post so please bear with me.
I grew up in an strict environment where talking to girls or being friends with them was a strict NO. I used to be even scared bringing notebooks of girls to my home whenever I missed classes as my parents would interrogate me who that girl is(I guess you could imagine the environment). After growing up and while doing my masters in US, my heart would long for a girlfriend/lover/mate but I never took that path as I knew it would greatly displease my parents/family especially after I saw them after one of my cousins did a love marriage. Even though there were couple of instances where I liked someone or the girl I liked showed interest in me I would just suppress it.

When the time to get married had come, I went with the arranged marriage option. My profile got registered on couple of online matrimonial sites and my parents were also searching personally through our community members. I would say I was above average looking and got requests from couple of nice looking girls from both US and India. My family members did not say directly but kind of disagreed to it saying it would be better if we find someone whose family's social status is same as us. My parents are not college educated and we were kind of middle class to lower middle class family. They thought that if girl's family is highly educated or well-to-do than us, then there would problems in communicating and adjusting and there might be ego issues or things like that. So, I kind of adjusted on this too. Then, we met my wife's match and my parents were OK with their family. Though I did not like her instantly for her looks, I was inclined for below reasons:
1. She looked like a simple girl. As she was not that great looking, I assumed that she would not have any affairs/boyfriends as deep down somewhere, I wanted to marry a girl who did not have any affairs/BF's.
2.She was working in an IT company and I wanted someone who would work after marriage as I wanted to settle in US(I was upfront about it with her)

Our marriage was fixed. Before we got married, my wife said she did not have any BF's as her parents were strict. I was happy in a way after hearing this. But later I found(2 months after we got married) that she lied and she had a BF and she got married to me by her parents pressure. When I found out, she again lied to me that they were in limits and did not have any physical relationship. But couple of weeks later, I found this to be false and she accepted that they had physical relationship as I had proof. I also found that she was in touch with her BF all the time even after marriage through emails & chats. There was a time where she would chat with both of us at the same time in separate windows. She would act to be happy with me and then chat with her BF too. I was crushed and deeply disappointed(I wrote about this in a separate post in this forum) I wanted to break up with her but decided to stay in this marriage after considering all things like my parents health, my siblings marriage etc. I could never forgive her but I decided to be normal with her. Though feelings of hatred, anger, being cheated on would come up once in a while, I made sure I kept them to myself and never told this to anyone and life went on for 2 years.
As I said before, I always wanted to settle in US and had dreams of a happily and fun filled married life. I had plans of when and where to go for vacations,when to buy house, kids etc but none of them seem to be happening. I was upfront of wanting a working wife. Even my wife said she wanted to work but looks like she lied on that too. It has been more than a year that she received her work permit but she is not showing interest in finding a job. Before marriage, she said she was working on certain technology but when we started searching for a job here, she said she did not work on it directly and her job involved only sending emails or some support job.Then she started training on a easier technology for which we spent money. Her training is complete but she shows very little interest or motivation in searching a job.I got in touch with companies where they search for jobs but she does not communicate with them regularly. We started having arguments on how careless she is and finally she told that she always wanted to be a house wife and not work after marriage. She was not planning on getting married to someone else other than her BF and that's why she lied to me. But as many people know, its tough to lead a comfortable life in US with single income. I look at my friends and other people in my circle where they got love marriage or married girls who were working here doing all the things that I dreamt of, buying houses etc and cannot help feeling depressed. Some of my friends did all sort of nasty things like going to strip bars, pros and when time to get married came acted as if they are nice guys and got married to nice looking girls from wealthy families and living a happy life. She says if we move back to India, we can manage a luxurious life with the money we saved and always talks about going back to India but does not talk about working here in US.
I have adjusted in so many things hoping to feel satisfied in at least some things but I found failure even in those. I followed a right path and pleased everyone my whole life but all I got is betrayal and pain. I do not know if I'am a bad person or a selfish one or a person who does not appreciate what he has but this is how I feel.
My wife does not groom or take care of herself. Initially I used to to look attractive for my wife but I lost interest after my wife's lack of interest. She has some issues with hormones(came to know about it after marriage) and has facial hair. Though I do not say anything to her, I expect that she take care of it.Am i being unreasonable here. I see in movies or hear that wife's get ready for their husbands by the time they come home but my wife has rarely done that. She is always in her PJ's and looks like as if she has just woken up. I used to help her with household chores assuming that she is not getting time but even if I help, she spends the time she gets on phone.
Now, we came to know that we may have to spend good amount of money if we try to have kids as she has some health issues(Not impossible but will take time and money). I came to know that they knew about it before marriage itself but did not tell us. Am I wrog in feeling that this should have been told before

When I look at all these things, I feel like I have been dealt with bad hands continuously by God. Earlier I used to pray daily and even fast but now I have so much hatred for God that I have removed all idols, images from my house and stopped going to temples completely. I feel like I have been unlucky from childhood and feel like going away far from everyone and praying for death everyday.

I see people around me who have done things that are considered bad but ended up having all the good things in life and here I'am. No matter how much I try,I cannot get rid of these bad feelings. Should I see a shrink. I do not know if I'm a bad person, selfish or being unreasonable or ungrateful for complaining like this but this is how I feel. Thanks for reading this.

 

There is no part 2. Initially it did not allow me to post all content in singe thread. I thought it was because of long post and tried to post it in 2 threads. But then i realized it was because of invalid characters. I fixed it and posted in same thread.