Feeling A Little Irritated

If you are a working women, declare that you will get rid of the maid, and you and husband will wash dishes on alternate days from now on . Then maybe she will stop saying.

Even if you are a housewife, doesn't mean you are now the slave of the family. If you have health issues, or lot of responsibilities like children to look after, its perfectly fair to keep a maid, especially as your in-laws are staying with you, the work load and responsibilities may be more. Maybe you can explain to her the need of a maid. But ideally, its your husband and your decision. It's not like you are dumping all the work on her and escaping. If your husband is not able to afford a maid, he can discuss with you, and you can work out a solution.Otherwise , your mother in law has no business if she is not burdened in any way.

In joint family, you always have to project a sorry image in front of inlaws, like tired and overburdened with work all the time etc,else they will exploit you as much as they can. Mostly they treat DIL as a money churning slave, even one free minute of hers should not be wasted.

 

OK Sister. you have ventilated here; but are you now feeling the load is off the chest? ask Mil - during her young days after marriage what was the monthly salary paid to her maid servant(s). (Her answer to this will give you some ammunition) Is she stout or obese or overweight, you can ask her prequel and sequel of it? If she is already thin, you can ask her to explain the secret of it though work is shared by all as a burden. your needling her should not be felt immediately but only when she chew the cud. Instead of reacting or remaining mum, a subtle humour to be tried. It might work. God Bless us All.

 

May be she mentioned in a casual way in a mode of giving suggestion.

Generally mothers often give this suggestion to their daughters, so why to take offensive if MIL says the samething without crossing her limits?

It is a well known fact that doing household work helps in reducing weight, may be that is why she expressed that, so don't feel bad or don't get upset.

 

Regardless of you being under weight, over weight or even a perfect weight, there will always be something wrong with you in her eyes.

Some mil's are at the thought that d dil's are just life suckers of their son's life- his hard work n energy n d dil's are just purely enjoying.

Understanding the fact, 'that no matter what you do will not make her happy', will give you clarity in your life. There will always be one thing or another, you are never gona be perfect or win a medal when it comes to her.

Continue to live your life regardless of any remarks she makes, don't get sensitive n ruin your peace because she isn't gona stop.

 

Ignore her, smile sweetly and go about your day exactly how you please. Don't engage her in arguments or try to justify yourself.
If not this she will find something else to complain about.

 

.Our intuition or something inside will guide us saying" their words are hurting( I agree there are mil like mothers too),but we will give them benefit of doubt thinking if these words were told by my mom will I get hurt(my experience). But one thing by thinking this way I am mostly at peace.

 

Since you yourself are feeling guilty of your weight, ur mil is taking advantage. This nagging wont stop until u lose weight. Then, what? She will jump into other topic like hair maintenance or dressing stlye and will not even appreciate you for losing weight. Its a constant physical and mental battle with inlaws.. unless you shout back at her, there is no stopping

 

OP, I think mil is using your insecurities about body image against you with such remarks. IGnore, ignore, ignore is the only answer..

If her remarks get to you, think of it as the stress will help reduce your weight. I have lost weight many times under work related stress, & anxiety about ILs. So , maybe you can see it positively sorry, hugs to you ..

 

Old fashioned housework , pulling well water, carrying on the hip, over the head etc and walking a distance, doing it everyday could work. Simulations of these are available at gyms. Join one, and get away a couple of hours a day.