Fathers behaviour

shantana · Mar 22, 2014

ok... does ur dad raise up about this issue frequently now or he doesnt talk abt it anymore? how is ur parents relationship? i guess if ur father just wanted to share this with u and since it was just jealousy or misunderstanding u like forget about it. i mean u shudnt have any bad thinking about ur mom...

yellowmango · Mar 22, 2014

Agree with shantana...your father being her husband may have his reasoning clouded by jealousy.Unless and until you have conclusive evidence of an emotional affair or a confession,you should give the benefit of the doubt to your mom in your heart. It would be wrong to have any hard feeling for her after hearing only one side of the story.

pmandy · Mar 22, 2014

Yes he thinks about it. He is not just leaving the topic. And now it again started as she was seen talking to him somewhere. So it makes him to start thinking and may be sharing with someone. Their relation looks good.

yellowmango · Mar 22, 2014

Does he expect you to intervene? Why doesn't he ask her himself? What is her relationship with that man? Why she doesn't meet him in front of him? He should deal with it now. Maybe he expects you to ask so that she will be hesitant to meet again.

pmandy · Mar 22, 2014

Whatever he told was something happened in past. Now somebody saw them talking somewhere in town and dad came to know about it. And again he started thinking. Also now we have independent house and mom is alone at home full day. Earlier he came to know that person is coming from neighbours and it was true. He came continuously fo 3 days which mom also accepted. Now if he comes also its difficult to know.Also I can not ask mom about it as I have not seen them talking.

pmandy · Jul 1, 2015

I would like to thank everyone for their suggestions. I slowly increased dialog with father which helped a lot. Now there is change in his behavior to some extent.

yellowmango · Jul 2, 2015

Glad to know this pmandy.
Try to talk to them as a couple. Spend time together(if possible )as a family.
Even if you talk on phone...talk to both of them .

Probably the bond between them as a couple was not so strong and when the children left,they don't feel close any longer.Hence the doubts and need to talk to others.

If possible ,whenever you are at home,take them out with you.Sit and talk holding both their hands .Probably for a movie,or temple.Just anything to bring them closer as your parents. These little things matter. You and your sister could do something sweet for their wedding anniversary .
Best Wishes .

pmandy · Jul 3, 2015

Thanks. I will try my best

songbird46 · Aug 12, 2015

My view...and it's the compete opposite of what other posters have said...
This is between your father and mother. He should never have told you, even if you are an adult. He has put doubts in your mind about your mother -- the last person you want to think about in such a context . Had you accidentally stumbled on something concerning her or him, it would be different and you could ask the person directly. This way you are confused.
Next time your dad starts this topic, tell him bluntly to stop talking about it to you. Then tell him that he has to tackle his wife about it more strongly. You are NOT going to be the courier. If she doesn't answer him properly he should tell her he suspects her of an affair. He should also confess that he has told you. This may precipitate matters & then you may get involved. If he doesn't tell her within a week & he starts the topic again, bring them face-to-face, state the matter, tell your mum to sort it out with him & leave.
Maybe something happened, maybe it didn't, maybe your mother is just flattered that someone is paying her attention, maybe this is her way of getting your father's attention...you don't know.
But whatever happens now/happened then, remember that she is your mother, she loves you, and has been with you always. She is a human being & might have made a mistake. This is between her and her husband. Let them get on with it. You care for them both. Support them in their lives but tell them you won't take sides.
Most importantly, DON'T mention this to anybody, ever. Come to IL forum & spill your heart out. We're there for you .
I see this thread started in December 2013 & went on till July. So I hope you read my post too & resolve the situation once & for all. It must be taking its toll on you too.
All the best.

pmandy · Jun 12, 2017

From all these experience one thing i would clearly say is whatever may be the situation there should be dialog between husband and wife. Things need to be get clarified in time. There would be some heated arguments, but it should not be avoided.