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Facetime Skype, Weekend Video Calls With In-laws

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Vedhavalli, Sep 16, 2019.

  1. peartree

    peartree Platinum IL'ite

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    Is not picking up the phone not an option?
     
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  2. Sangeeta85

    Sangeeta85 Gold IL'ite

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    It is but depends on the front one if inlaws like mine they will ask plenty questions n if u say busy then they create fights argument all u can possible to think of.
     
  3. Vedhavalli

    Vedhavalli Gold IL'ite

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    If not picking up phone, they would call 100 times. I tried switching off my router. They do direct call n cry make a big drama.
     
  4. peartree

    peartree Platinum IL'ite

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    Why is your husband saying about all this? Is he ok with spending all the time talking to his parents?

    It seems like such a waste of time and brain cells to have to come up with vengeful ideas and wisecracks!
     
  5. Vedhavalli

    Vedhavalli Gold IL'ite

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    It is! Draining to think how to avoid. I'm ok with 20-30 min talking in a convenient time for all of us. Not morning 6 am to 11 am.
    He won't say anything think because his mom will cry. Even if he says will talk to later or call you later, she cries. After 2-3 min his sister would call say mom misses you, how much she sacrificed all those mother India movie stories. ... Mentally draining really.

    Problem is with setting boundaries, if I raise a wall she would do long jump., Even if I raise a firewall she would find a fire safety suit or invent antifirewall. Basically she doesn't respect boundaries or others
     
  6. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    Thanks for your comments.
     
  7. Sangeeta85

    Sangeeta85 Gold IL'ite

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    The same is here too ..cry n drama n be victim..
    So does she argue with u ?. If she how do u react and how does ur husband?.
     
  8. IL86

    IL86 Silver IL'ite

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    Let her sulk,cry, let sil call and tell DH but why do you give in . Just don't pick up. How many days she will do drama after few days she will accept the new normal, by giving in to her demands you are letting her continue. It is absolutely in your hands .Call at your convenience and say bye after 20 mins. If your DH insists you to talk still, just one weekend ask your parents to call at 6 am and ask your DH to attend them till 11 am, he will learn lesson quickly. You don't even need to do that just ask him can he manage this every weekend if it was your parents bothering him. This is not a big problem it's because you are letting them do it's happening. Just tell clearly you are busy you can't make long calls that's it. They can make this an issue for few days but if you don't give in , they will have to accept.
     
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  9. Vedhavalli

    Vedhavalli Gold IL'ite

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    Saturday I called my uncle n aunt for thier 25 th wedding anniversary. So told dh not include us in that call.
    Sunday I spoke hi how are you, simple 4-5 min then said I gotto make breakfast. End.
    I'm thinking to keep up this. I don't care how much time dh speak to his mom. None of my business, ☮️.
    So she had to cut down the indirect speech of "that Aunty's DIL, this uncle's daughter" type of things.
    Let's see how it goes
     
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  10. confused4sure

    confused4sure Silver IL'ite

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    When my husband does these marathon calls, I close the bedroom door so I don't hear their discussion.
    Hearing the conversation makes me angry and kills my happy spirit.

    If the conversation cannot be boxed away by a door, I put on my head phones or take the kids outside to run errands.
     
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