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Facetime Skype, Weekend Video Calls With In-laws

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Vedhavalli, Sep 16, 2019.

  1. Needtobestrong

    Needtobestrong Gold IL'ite

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    I understand your pain...I went through a similar situation years ago when newly married..in laws were in a different city..they would call early morning, then late evening..weekends early morning etc..luckily it was just telephone calls as they weren't tech savvy enough for Skype or video calling etc...it was Damn irritating when they asked each n every detail like what time we got up, what food item we made, where we went out etc...my BF and lunch prep in the morning was interrupted and evening after coming from office I would be so damn tired, would still have to prep dinner, eat, finish laundry , personal works etc and go to sleep..that time it was so tiring to take these calls...so, I slowly stopped answering calls when it was at an inconvenient time...would give genuine reasons like busy in kitchen, didn't hear due to pressure cooker sound, was out buying vegetables, was busy doing household work so didn't hear, or was standing in bus stop for bus, or busy in meeting or office call, or still working in office in late evening etc...in the beginning MIL made lot of irritating remarks about how we don't have time to talk to them etc..I ignored...then I made it a habit to call them up on weekends , late morning at a convenient time like 11 am or when free...and spent atleast half to one hour..I would keep going on as to how busy I'm on weekdays and don't have time even to eat proper..I think they slowly got the hint..this way I minimised interactions..of course they would call on weekdays or other inconvenient times in case of any urgent or important thing to be conveyed to us, in such case I would talk, listen and acknowledge and end the call by saying I have work to do etc..
     
  2. Vedhavalli

    Vedhavalli Gold IL'ite

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    I have determined no more taking calls for hours. She watches TV serials from 6 to 11 pm on weekdays. I learnt no serial on Sunday so the call my Saturday mornings. So I called her today when she watching serial , she kept call in 3-4 min. I said ya it's good you have to have time for yourself. I think she got the hint.
    All these days I never tried keeping music or tv while they were on call.
    Next weekend will try n post how it goes.

    One think I learnt today is - not to get angry, feel resentful. Tackle with comedy and poke with same needle.
     
    yesican, Amica, Positivity02 and 8 others like this.
  3. shravs3

    shravs3 IL Hall of Fame

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    This is the best reply.They should get the taste of their own medicine only then they will learn
     
  4. Rihana

    Rihana IL Hall of Fame

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    :smiley: :cool: :lol: :biggrin: :number_one: :thumbsup: :beer-toast1:
     
  5. peartree

    peartree Platinum IL'ite

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    Our lives are really no different than the serials we think so lowly of, seems like!!
     
  6. MadhuRK

    MadhuRK Senior IL'ite

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    Dear Vedhavalli,

    I'm shocked by what you are going through and I feel terrible just reading this. I can understand what you must be going through.

    So many people have given such great answers. I'll try to add my perspective to this and see if any of these suggestions help you:

    Type a : (My-home-my-zone) I want to wake up late, spend time lazily dozing on the floor, strolling to a restaurant and grabbing a brunch that we all love to have as a family : Switch off your phone, laptop or even the damn wifi-router if that helps. You don't need to ask anybody's permission for this. What you don't take ownership and demonstrate leadership in, you cannot complain about. Your life is your first kid.

    Type b: (My-weekends-my-fun) I want to wake up on weekends and spend some time doing things I don't get a chance to do otherwise. Focus on my fitness, go for a yoga class or a hike, enjoy some quality time with friends. Use the motivation your In-laws give for both of you to get up and spend time on a yoga class, quiet walk or stretch (if the kids are old enough). If not, join an early morning class for the kids, drop them and sit down to read a book in a coffee-place. Convert their energy into your motivation. The time my in-laws spent with me were the best for me in some sense. I would wake up every day at 5 AM in the bay-area winters. By the time they rolled out of the bed it would be 8 and I would've had so much quality time spent just with myself, so calm and centered by then, it was a surprise for me. I had ticked the check-box on so many goals in that short stretch of time. I kind of miss it but not really.

    My 2 cents. Hope you feel better soon.
     
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  7. Vedhavalli

    Vedhavalli Gold IL'ite

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    :smilingimp: have to find out what's her favorite serial. :D will call then :banana:
     
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  8. Vedhavalli

    Vedhavalli Gold IL'ite

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    True though
     
  9. Vedhavalli

    Vedhavalli Gold IL'ite

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    Thank you so much. Your reply makes me feel better. If I switch off router, she would call my husband phone or my phone direct calls missed calls . Once I said kid's screen time is increasing, she said all watch screen these days. Basically she wants to ruin my weekend
     
  10. shravs3

    shravs3 IL Hall of Fame

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    Ofcourse you can. Just ask her one simple question. Mil which is your most favourite serial? If you don’t mind can you please suggest I’m planning to watch from now on :sunglasses:

    And Yuppflix has separate channels for US and Indian times. So you can track her serial timings :laughing:
     
    Last edited: Sep 17, 2019
    Amica and Anusha2917 like this.

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