Extras by Women!!!

Dear hrastro,

Oh boy! Where do I start the response to this post? There is no doubt in my mind that you are a super human being by any standards, when compared with both men and women. In a day and age where men think they do a super job by merely supporting the family, you are definitely a role model. I always carry an impression that a family can't be run merely by financial support and it takes a lot more effort to create and develop a great environment for the family to be successful. It involves raising the children teaching them morals besides teaching them the skills to face the world, building friendships, nurturing the existing relationship with extended family on both sides, providing the healthy food for the body, mind and intellect, keeping a clean environment at home, encouraging the right habits while restricting the habits that are not conducive, helping the people in need, coordinating the minds of more than one at home for a common goal, etc.

Despite all the corporate success I enjoyed in my career, other than taking care of my son after work, my contribution to the family is almost negligible when he was young. My wife did most for building his character. When I see him so successful in socializing well with people besides his academic accomplishments, I am immensely grateful to my wife for her wonderful contributions.

After I crossed 50 years and when I moved out of corporate world to start my own consulting business, I began a contributor to the family. Now, my son started opening up more with me in his academic pursuit. I personally spend a lot of time with my wife. I took very good care of my parents-in-law back in India until my FIL died in 2013. Now I have brought my MIL here to the US as my wife is the only child for her.

Despite my wife objecting, I volunteer a lot in the kitchen including cutting of vegetables, washing dishes, helping her cook food for major events, etc. I still spend considerable amount of time in providing service to the homeless community in our area. I also volunteer to help the terminally ill patients by giving them the company especially those who have no visitors for many years. Because of my experience and background, I reduced my professional time considerably and deliver better results to our clients in the shortest possible time. I feel lot better now when compared to the period when I was awfully tied up in the corporate world. My wife has given me 5 more years to retire and after that we intend to go back to India to serve the people in need, if God gives us enough life span.

Reading posts like this is a great motivator for me and thank you for writing this.

Viswa

 

@ramyav_cse
,....Your response sounds rude @Saisakthi feels happy that she is not dependent and enjoys doing household work..It does sound very positive...Your comments feel like i am back in to SAHM VS Working Mom thread personally attacking one another :notthatway:

 

@brahan Sister,

Thanks for voicing up for me, I guess sister ramyav_cse didnt read beyond those lines and probably felt what great are you doing... ? this is what all of them outside India are doing...

Sister brahan, I am interacting with you for the first time, You are indeed doing great with the support of your Dh, Glad many sisters schedule could be motivating, it is indeed because of this thread by Sister hrastro, May baba bless your home in abundance always, SAIRAM

Please excuse us Sister @hrastro for having diverted the thread a bit, Sairam

 

Tank You Saisakthi siste..I haveseen lot of threads of yours...Thanks for all your Prayers (for others).

I love this thread for the positiveness..There are lot many new things we learn everyday from others..I believe each day we should progress and be a better person than yesterday..This thread gives me a positive motivation to make my life more organized and make the best use of Time ...

 

You are too Good. Need to learn a lot from you. How do u have energy.. I am a working woman
and just complain to do basic things at home.

 

Wow!!! So many things?!?! Is that even legal?... :hatsoff. I have just juggled 4 balls in extreme. Home, Animal welfare, work and studies.

 

Dear Laks09,
really moved by your post. You are doing great. All this will not go in vain. All our good wishes and blessings are with you and your family.

 

I am glad I did @hrastro

 

@saisakthi, thank you.

my son has moved about 75% out of the spectrum with my hard work, my fights with the education system, my fights with teachers who openly berate him to the extent of "Why are you trying to mess with my brain", if he asks questions that are actually part of the subject/topi. with teachers who would tell me, your son has a mental problem, why don't you take him out of the loop. Fighting with society, medical fraternity on how best we can do things for people like him. today we both stand on the threshold of going one step forward to chasing that dream of his that he has seen from when he was 7. yes for a special child, he has been consistent about what he wants to be in life from the age of 7 even when he did not know what they called that person, and many with whom we discuss his career are amazed at the consistency and wish that he gets to do it. (they believe many children do not get that focus even when they are in their 14-18 that is the 10-12th standards.

A son, who was born with brain issues, and legs that berated gravity because of the angle they got bent due to my small uterus size short and he being tall and then added respiratory infection to hernia. i have seen everything with this fellow from the day he was 6 months in my womb. he has been under the scanner from then to even now.. i defied the medical system, by making him walk, run and play cricket. I learnt to play cricket, to bowl just to help him, to dribble a ball along with so that his legs are a little more stronger..I worked with the doctors, with his nutrition, with his emotions to make things better for him and the process is going on..

but luck has not been in favor of my little man,though i believe god has better things in store for him. last year after his emergency surgery, he has been banned from riding cycle, playing cricket. the very things i struggled to coach him. he lost the chance of playing cricket with the district, being from a rare combinaton of lefthand batsman and right hand spinner.

Today, i am tiger mom with a hawk like vision, to help him achieve that dream of his. I keep track of the colleges that i have as options if he can't get in through the general competitive exams, but that is the last option. recently when i asked his teacher, to help me understand something a little better, because i find most of the kids have the same confusion, i was blatantly told by him that "mam, if you feel it is tough for your kid, you should not have opted the course" "i want to scream/fight the system that gloats of 1st ranks, 1st air ..it is not great in making a child who gets 80% or 90% to get a rank., the right to host a banner, pamphlet screaming these ranks would be when they do something with the average and below average." So everyday is a day that dawns with me fishing ideas of how to keep my boy motivated, and to keep his spirits up when he thinks he can't do it.

and i am sure even if he does not get into the iit-s (yes my little man wants to enter into one of the 3 that has the course he wants to study, that is not engineering though..)

My kids success will be the fruit of my penance..(That is how it has been the last 17 years of my life..), that said i am equally proud of his elder sister who has been understanding and supportive.

And thank you and many others here who are rooting for him, praying for him.

@hrastro will write the other essay to your op soon...

 

Sister @Shanvy Thanks for responding in detail.

Yes!!! This is what our Project is all about, Happy to proudly mention that we have been successful in this research.

We believed that every child has the capacity to learn, understand and store knowledge, (just leaving out a negligible %) But some are lucky enough to get full support, some are in the affordability stream, get support by attending coaching/tuition while some get neglected that this particular subject doesn't sound easy to him. That is not actually true, everyone can learn when taught in the right perspective and be applauded too.

Average performing students are with more knowledge than the ones who Top with 100% scores which are mostly Rote learned or Q&A prepared as per expectation.

The Society at large should understand the need for omniscient knowledge rather than Marks/Grades/Firsts/Certificates which makes them unavailable for Research/Industry/Struggle in Employment.

Will respond more soon.