1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice

Expert Guidance

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by alice785, Jan 17, 2012.

  1. alice785

    alice785 Senior IL'ite

    Messages:
    27
    Likes Received:
    10
    Trophy Points:
    23
    Gender:
    Female
    [JUSTIFY]hi all, i have been married from past 6 mnths, when i got married i was not knowing what marriage really is, i had gone to a new state for job and there met a boy, he loved me and we used to talk a lot and slowly he convinced me into marrying him, i also loved him, i never bothered to enquire about his family as i thought i have to live with him so other things do no matter but in india things are in reality not like this, we are expected to accept the boys culture, anywayz i am married now, i dont have any problem with my husband, we are happy here and we do not live with in-laws, the problem lies in his family environment, they belong to backward state of uttar pradesh, there mentality and lifestyle is of backward type, when i went there i was surprised to see there living, i felt so odd one out, they had problems with the way i dressed, his mother would say i am VIP, i wore suit only but we have fancy living ie we live with all luxuries, keep ourselves smartly, but they even didnt have fridge, washing machine and when i purchased washing machine at my home, they had problem, even though noone said anything to me but amongst them they discuss, they are so backward in there thinking and feel that living with these luxuries is hifi or i dont know they are not comfortable with it even though in cities these are normal things, i feel that since they are living in villages they feel city people to be hifi and advanced and have problem with there lifestyle, but i cannot live like them and i do not like this mentality, its not that i am getting egoist but it is the way i am, i want to live like any other educated civilized person lives and also yaa live smartly and fashionable, there is nothing wrong in it, we are progressing and we have to move forward not backward, i sometimes feel discomfort in my husband too, noone says anything but i can feel from there behaviour and face, with the way they look at me, i feel so alone and want to be amongst people like my thinking, positive happening smart not backward, i dont want to go to his place because of there backward atmosphere there, but my husband will not agree, he says me to ignore them and go there, how can i? i feel so disgusted at the thought of going to that area where people are so backward and cheap mentality, my mind is getting disturbed and i am so confused and feeling guilty of not having thought what i wanted in my life, it is prime time for me to develop my career and i am into these things, i dont know what to do, cant tell this to my parents since it was my decision so i have to take it on me, i feel so alone with noone to talk to... when i talk to my husband about it, he just says me to ignore it and i will have to go to his place and that he will handle things.... but i dont know how alone in that atmosphere i will make it, it is not a problem for him, he belong to that area, but for me it is very difficult. [/JUSTIFY]
     
    Loading...

  2. sudhakrishna

    sudhakrishna Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    564
    Likes Received:
    509
    Trophy Points:
    195
    Gender:
    Female
    Dear alice, Don't make life too complicated.Take to your inlaws and explain these are the things which make the work simple. If possible take them to the places where they are used. Try to convince them. Have a happy married life
     
  3. raji2678

    raji2678 Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,624
    Likes Received:
    444
    Trophy Points:
    158
    Gender:
    Female
    Develop a good relationship with your in-laws. When you go there, adjust to their way of living. Be helpful and respectful to them. Buy them things you feel they may need.Soon they will love and respect you and will listen to your point of view. Remember that because of them only you have got your loving hubby!
     
  4. SallyR

    SallyR Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    487
    Likes Received:
    155
    Trophy Points:
    93
    Gender:
    Female
    I can't see anything wrong with your in-laws way of living. It's our way of living that has lead the world to this state (global warming, pollution, increased cancer, etc).

    They're your husband's parents, they're a part of his life (& yours as long as you're married to him) whether you like it or not. I think you should try and learn more about them with an open mind & learn to respect them. When they see you opening up to them, they'll see you beyond your clothes & lifestyle and start to accept you as you are.

    Living a simple life once in a while (at least), I think will be good for all of us! Best Wishes :)
     
    1 person likes this.

Share This Page