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Expectations From Inlaws

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Ria84, Aug 7, 2019.

  1. Ria84

    Ria84 Senior IL'ite

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    How much expectations from inlaws shd one have? They expect us to do for them. How much shd we expect from them?

    They get things done from you and treat u like you dont belong there.

    How do you deal with such things?
     
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  2. Anusha2917

    Anusha2917 Finest Post Winner

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    It's a one way street . They expect us to do but when it's their chance they don't do. (mostly).
    So expect nothing . In that case when they do something(at least) small looks big for us.

    Dealing part : See when I did so much and when they didn't do much I was extremely hurt.
    So I started doing little with no extra efforts and which was something I could do without expecting anything in return. In that way I felt okay "I anyway do little, so the smallest thing they do became "exceed expectations" for me.
    Even if they didn't do I was fine because point 1 "Zero expectation I have from them".
     
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  3. winterhue

    winterhue Silver IL'ite

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    I stopped expecting. It was as easy as that. I sometimes feel bad, but then I just tell myself "would you expect consideration from a stranger? Or a friend's mom? Or some random relative?". I stopped trying to be extra lovey dovey to them. They get the same treatment any relative get
     
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  4. DDream

    DDream Platinum IL'ite

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    Remember these points

    PILS are not parents, they will be PILS forever.
    A DIL will be a DIL, never a daughter.
    Even when they say, DIL belong to their family, DIL will an outsider in important family matters.
    (very few exceptions)

    I have accepted those things, so no problem. I dont go in between my dh and his parents. So far my relationship with them is good.

    So always maintain a safe respectable distance from them. Dont talk with them the same way you talk to your parents. Observe them, learn, only then talk. Always remember they are parents of your husband, and treat them well like you treat any other person. Also dont share everything in your family to them. Share only good or positive things. Dont complain about them to dh, it wont work. But involve your dh in those things where they seek your help. Its your dh job to take care of his parents/fulfill their wishes, your duty is just to assist. Don't over do anything beyond your comfort zone. Leave their son to them, and take your husband for you.

    Don't expect much. If they are good, be happy, but keep expectations low. Be yourself, don't give more expectations to them as well.
     
    Last edited: Aug 7, 2019
  5. sunshine1970

    sunshine1970 Gold IL'ite

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    HI I expect very little from my in laws. As they get older they are kinder and more considerate but this is something I am trying to change in my life "expectations". Have no or very low expectations from people all around you and you will lead a very very happy life. I also limit what I do for others, and am trying to further limit it.
     
  6. Deol7777

    Deol7777 New IL'ite

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    In-laws are in-laws no matter what. So don’t expect them to be appreciative of anything you do for them.
     

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