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Evil thought killing me please help

Discussion in 'Pujas Prayers & Slokas' started by saibaba24, Mar 29, 2015.

  1. Swethasri

    Swethasri Platinum IL'ite

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    Please take many prints of your Kuladeivam (Family Deity) and keep it in all of your rooms Stick the picture facing east if you are able to do that. We had lot of problems couple of years back and I did the same thing. After a while things slowly started getting away. God Bless You!
     
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  2. Kungumam

    Kungumam Gold IL'ite

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  3. Saisakthi

    Saisakthi IL Hall of Fame

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    @Chennaiexpress Sister,

    The best dissection you have made spending time :hatsoff to your efforts, if @saibaba24 sister reads it calmly she will surely get to understand where she stands.

    May Baba bless us always, Aum Sairam
     
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  4. indoc

    indoc Gold IL'ite

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    Pujas and rituals are different.. and by the looks of it you hate these rituals.. if you don't like throwing away your money in hundi, then donate it to some orphanage.. better will be buying stuff like books, sweets, bedsheets etc and distributing them personally among orphans..
    You need to channelize this energy in a better way and one option is joining in some social welfare clubs.. join some raja yoga camps..
     
  5. Sparkle

    Sparkle Platinum IL'ite

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    @saibaba24:
    I am sorry to hear your situation but its also good to know that you have tried psychological treatment.
    Being positive takes a lot of work. Whenever you have an evil thought or feeling. First just face it in your mind. And then say loudly or in your mind that you will not succumb to it. It will help if you say it out loudly.

    If you face your fears in your mind, you will eventually not be scared of fears anymore and one day they will vanish. Most often what we fear will not happen in reality. Only when we give importance and meaning to the fears they will take over us.

    After you wake up, take 10-30 minutes for yourself and read quotes that will give you a positive feeling for the day. (Make a list of positive quotes and write them down in a journal, read it everyday). You can also keep a journal and write down what you are going through everyday or whenever you feel like.
    Or if you have a favorite prayer you can recite that too. When you recite a sloga, get to know the meaning of it and recite it understanding the message. (You may be doing this already, but many people just chant without focusing. That can lead to distraction)

    @saibaba24:
    This is a generalized opinion. I don't think ashrams can help you much. There are many scandals going on in ashrams. Most places will aim at looting you off instead of taking care of you. Don't think anything negative about yourself. Use the journal I mentioned before to make a list of good items that you have done as a wife and as a mother.

    Ignore your relatives. Keep yourself away from anyone who will kill your mood and make you feel down. Focus on you son, you husband and yourself. Have you discussed all your feelings with your husband?

    @saibaba24:
    You should visit a psychiatrist for this. But they will make you pop a lot of pills for being anxious and depressed. That will give you a high temporarily but wont cure you completely.
    What about your food habits? Trying a raw food diet or including raw vegetables and fruits with your meal could help you a bit.
    You mentioned you have these feelings since last July. Has anything changed from July? Your food, environment, people or anything else? Looking at the changes can help you fix things.

    @saibaba24:
    Face this as a challenge or test given by God. God is always with you and your son, regardless of any kind of thought you get. Hang in there.
     
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  6. suryakala

    suryakala IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear @saibaba24 ,

    By seeking help in this forum you have done a great help to yourself, your son, and your DH.

    First, do not panic. Say to yourself I have some medical condition which can be easily treated by a good doctor. There is nothing to feel guilty or shame about it. No one feels guilty or shame when they have a fever. It is similar.

    Please read the following carefully. This is important.

    I Write this from my knowledge of some friend who had a similar problem like you. The person is 100% ok now for many years.

    You have to follow two treatments. One is a short term medical treatment and the second is a long term life style treatment.

    Both these treatments need full support from your husband. If you think he is kind, sympathetic and understanding talk to him direct explaining yourself when you are not depressed. If you think he is different and feel uncomfortable, then take your husband when you visit the doctor and ask the doctor to do the talking to your husband .

    Due to genetic or other reasons some brains produce negative feelings.

    The first short term treatment requires medicines to enable your brain to stop producing chemicals that generates negative feelings. To have these medicines go to a psychiatrist as soon as possible. They have some medicines called "mood elevators". You will be alright in a fortnight. But if you stop the medicines or irregular in taking medicines or take less doses than prescribed without doctor's advise, you will again go back to the original position.

    You have to also simultaneously start the second long term treatment, changing your life style. You have to immediately join a religious group which is very active in Vrats, functions and Bhajans. Be very active in the group developing close friendship with a few good person in the group. You will be active, have focus chantings, and come across many volunteers who are always positive.

    Daily have puja and meditation at least for 20 minutes after your morning bath.

    You will be alright soon. Do not worry too much about thoughts which are negative. (Such as the Perumal and Thayar photo). Say to yourself I will be positive whenever these thoughts come. They will stop with medical help and life style change. Go to a nearby temple daily if possible at a fixed time.

    May Baba bless you with good health and a cheerful life.

    Om Shri Sai Bhaktavana Pratignyaya Namaha-Humble salutation to the one who has vowed to protect His devotees.
     
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  7. saibaba24

    saibaba24 New IL'ite

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    Thank u so so much ladies for your kind reply and i am so happy that u all spend ur time to reply for my post. This shows GOD loves me and its my bad karma which is allowing me to love him in return. I will tell you one incident happened in tirupathi. My son he is 2 years and 8 months old after having darshan of padmavathi amma we went to get prasadam and my son also got one and he was standing near to us. Myself and my hubby were discussing about our darshan and suddenly my mom started shouting where is the Kid???? I thought that my brother would have took him for handwash but when i ran and saw he was not there. That minute i felt like everything is over and i cant express my feelings in simple words. myself, hubby, mom and my brother were searching for me and everybody were in panic if someone take him with them what will be my situation and i thought that amma is playing with me and she wants to convey a message to me. One middle aged male saw me nervous and asked me to calm down. I told him that we missed our son and he told he saw a little guy and showed me the direction and i ran towards that direction and saw my sweety with his prasadam and ran near to him and hugged him that moment i thought that how cruel was my behaviour as a mother to my child, thats y goddess given me this punishment. But she is also merciful to reunite me with my son. I immediately ran to the person who showed me my son and did namaskaram at that moment he is my God..

    Sisters please tell me your view whether it is blessing in disguise or punishment for my act.

    Also we forgot turmeric and kumkum in the shop itself where we bought bangles. I am worried for forgetting. Also i calm down my mind sayiing goddess herself got it from my hands. Anyway i leave to Goddess and she has to bless her chidren.

    I have mentioned from Last July i have some health related problems. Last April we came to our newly bought house and i will tell this for sure noone is happy that we got a new house. As a young couple we got it early so these elders are not happy. Except our parents no one will be happy for others growth same thing here. In the house warming function itself they have started to show faces one says i voluntarily forgot to get my in-laws photo and she created a drama and she scolded me like anything. I will tell you onething i am the one who wanted our house to be in our inlaws name we have kept our inlaws name as our house name because my mil is very fond to have a new and seperate own house when she is alive. I wanted to fulfill her desires and i thought her soul will be happy when we do this and my mil and fil will bless us and show their blessing to our house. But these idiots doesnt understand my feelings and they started the drama. I came from a normal family but leading a good life with Gods grace which is not able to digest by them. Their evil eye started to work.... suddenly i had some health problem and which made my thought even worse that i started to hate my life and i will sit on the sofa does nothing to my child and hubby like mad. everybody was happy at that time and everyone started giving their advices that it is not the right time to buy a house and you are too young bla bla bla why because it is not happend to them so they dont want to happen to others also. everyone started to say negative about the house whether it is correctly built or not thats y u r facing health issues and i myself a negative thinker started to think their speech and started to hate my house and i tell to my husband to shift our house.

    I have one Co-sister (not direct) who is very happy when i suffer and she was at the top of the world when i have problem. I hate her like anything. she is the one i believed at the beginning and she will take words from my mouth and broadcast to all our relatives and again she will come and act to me. She will shed crocodile tears and you know one thing she is thinking myself and my husband as unlucky because after engagement my mil died. So in her point of view we both are unlucky and she will act to the core to avoid us. These things i got to know when i got pregnant. She only told me that i am not fit to be a good mother it is better i can give my son to one couple who is childless in our family. these things she is telling to her mil when i was sleeping but i was listening what the hell she is thinking about me.

    I hate her to the core and i dont want to see her face, but God makes me again and again to see her. I got enough from his relatives. I have no strength in my body and heart to take it further so please sister bless me and pray for me to overcome my situation. I am totally surrendered to saibaba and i am a devotee for saibaba for the past 7 years but now only i am reading saisatcharitra. He only can save and destroy my bad karma. I love him so much and i want him every second to guide me.

    Jai Sairam
     
  8. jayasala42

    jayasala42 Finest Post Winner

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    Dear Saibaba 24,
    My asheervadhams to you as a 73 year old grandma.

    Sometimes problems like these creep up and it is but natural for the lady of the house to get depressed.Certain incidents in our life trigger hatred against Gods and Goddesses by which God will never get affected.
    The good thing is that you are aware that there is some problem and that you want solution. You have rightly approached IL team consisting of devotees, specialists and experienced women who have seen even worse challenges.

    You don't have a problem at all. It is just a small tilt in balance of chemicals which can be easily restored to normalcy. First calm down. There is no big problem. This is only a temporary phase. You are back to normal shortly.These self encouraging words" I am normal. I am in the path of recovery to normalcy.'very often repeatedly told by you to yourself will boost lot of self confidence.This encouragement with a few drugs will make you alright.

    Don't worry that you are not inclined to pray. It is OK. Even this disinclination will be considered as a prayer by God Almighty.Cultivating a strong mind, diversions or humour club as some one suggested may prove beneficial.
    My sister was just 19 and was 4 months pregnant had a much severe problem in 1948. She also used to throw away the portraits of gods and just put off the lamps in the pooja room.My Amma very carefully dealt with the problem, made her sleep on her lap for half an hour, talk very encouragingly.In those days there were no psychiatrists but only mantriks. My mother never allowed any one inside , but by mere repeated words of encouragement, restored normalcy. Within 3 months she was almost back to normal. She gave birth to a beautiful girl baby.
    Diseases are part of life. Just like gastrititis which affects the enzymes of digestive system, this affects the chemistry of another part of our body.Don't fear for things that may never happen at all.
    You need not even pray or recite slokams, if you don't feel so. Just feel relaxed. In that calm atmosphere virtuous thoughts enter your mind and it starts praying automatically even without your knowledge. That is the beautiful creation of God which has automatic remotes to vibrate positive energy unto you even without your trying for the same.

    Wish you all the best. May God almighty be with you for ever.

    Jayasala 42
     
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  9. saibaba24

    saibaba24 New IL'ite

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    Thank you Jayasala madam

    You are my grandma age and thank you for your blessing and your sister story made me positive and your mother approach towards the problem is very good. I wish i have a mother like her in this situation. Thank you once again ma for your blessings
     
  10. Sparkle

    Sparkle Platinum IL'ite

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    @jayasala42:
    Very well-written maam! Loved these words in particular.
     

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