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Every woman needs to have her own financial independence

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Ragini25, Sep 14, 2012.

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  1. Sep 16, 2012 #41
    bhuvnidhi

    bhuvnidhi IL Hall of Fame

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    He..he..he...Rihana,You know that he has other choices than depending on his old mother.There would be a flat one straight answer from men and we all know it.
     
    bhuvnidhi, Sep 16, 2012
    bhuvnidhi, Sep 16, 2012
    #41
    1 person likes this.
  2. Sep 16, 2012 #42
    parvathi1980

    parvathi1980 Platinum IL'ite

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    Yes bhuvindi...some women do that...and watch those obnoxious shows the whole day is not my idea of entertainment. But then TV serials are actually a success thanks to these women! maybe they don't have any other hobbies or interests. You cannot expect such women to be working full time...they have the luxury of eating, sleeping and watching TV.
     
    parvathi1980, Sep 16, 2012
    parvathi1980, Sep 16, 2012
    #42
  3. Sep 16, 2012 #43
    Mahajanpragati

    Mahajanpragati Platinum IL'ite

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    dear neerja,
    thanks for your best wishes........

    i mentioned that i don't get bored or depressed at home & you hit the nail with suggestion of reading.reading is my one biggest passion & i indulge in it like anything..........

    its always good to have taste of both life before concluding which is better.i have worked for few years as unmarried girl & then few months as newly married one. yes,that time it was fun & i loved the financial angle of it which was well needed then.with 9 yrs of marriage behind me i simply don't have the need of those financial supports & maybe that is why no iniative to work.......
    i think we need to understand that financial independence may come from other sources other then working or being employed........many a times it can be inherited,savings from few years spend working ,investments made by self or parents or indirectly earned as in my case.

    pragati
     
    Mahajanpragati, Sep 16, 2012
    Mahajanpragati, Sep 16, 2012
    #43
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  4. Sep 16, 2012 #44
    srpoonam

    srpoonam Junior IL'ite

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    Hi,

    I am posting for first time in this relationship forum even though I have been reading post for long time. I think the definition of financial independence is different for different people. We have seen lot of people who are working in MNC and in highly reputable jobs give their entire salary to their spouse or in-laws and have no idea what is done with that or where it is spent (mostly spent on other family member). On the other hand, the homemaker takes all the financial decision and has lot of investments in a joint account. So working does not mean financial independence. At the same time, women with strong self confidence whether home maker or working can face all the odd life throws at her in a strong manner like a home maker can use her knowledge of interacting with people while volunteering in schools or hobbies developed during free time to earn money and the working women with lots of ambition give up their job if her children needs her. Its all about priority. There are lots of cases in India where husband and wife work in IT and in different shifts end up in divorce as they rarely spend time with each other.

    That being said, every women should keep herself updated and do things which makes them feel proud of themselves. That way a homemaker when meets with circumstance can move out of a abusive relationship or take up a job if a spouse lost a job.

    I am working women with a toddler and I want to work for next 5-10 years and then join some NGO as volunteer worker. I am laughed upon by people when I say that I want to leave my job and do volunteer work. I feel if your educated then you can education to help lot of people who are not that privileged and make sure every child either girl and boy are given an education which will help them in the future. You education and knowledge if used for betterment of society and not for earning money, I think its still an accomplishment. I have seen so many American family where the women give up her job once she has child and then starts volunteering in school and charities once the child grow up.
     
    srpoonam, Sep 16, 2012
    srpoonam, Sep 16, 2012
    #44
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  5. Sep 16, 2012 #45
    Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    It is OK for a woman to be a homemaker, as long as she is professional about it. :)
     
    Rihana, Sep 16, 2012
    Rihana, Sep 16, 2012
    #45
  6. Sep 17, 2012 #46
    Ragini25

    Ragini25 Platinum IL'ite

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    Very true. And not only if divorce or death, even some other thing like chronic illness - chronic backpain etc can be debilitating for a mom sometimes. If the hubby is unprepared, then it will be very difficult to manage.
     
    Ragini25, Sep 17, 2012
    Ragini25, Sep 17, 2012
    #46
  7. Sep 17, 2012 #47
    Ragini25

    Ragini25 Platinum IL'ite

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    It is not about ambitious, parvathi - it is about can you be self-sustaining? Can you manage to earn enough to live a modest life. You don't need to become extremely rich if you are not ambitious for that. But can you self-sustain yourself or are you dependent wholly on your hubby for bringing in the money to have basic living?
     
    Ragini25, Sep 17, 2012
    Ragini25, Sep 17, 2012
    #47
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  8. Sep 17, 2012 #48
    parvathi1980

    parvathi1980 Platinum IL'ite

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    How in the world does it make a difference to anybody's life if a lady works or sits at home or sleeps and does nothing at home? You mean to say everybody should be ambitious??? Sadly for you a lot of people may not think the way you do. Anyhow very often husband's ensure that the rights of the wife are protected. I am not against sitting at home nor am I against working. I just feel that every individual weighs her options and then takes a decision. It may or may not be the right one according to you but at the end of the day it is her life.
     
    parvathi1980, Sep 17, 2012
    parvathi1980, Sep 17, 2012
    #48
  9. Sep 17, 2012 #49
    Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Replace 'ambitious' with 'self-sustaining' in Ragini's post (#47). She has throughout posted that women should be self-sustaining/financially independent, and said even a low-paying job is OK. It is obvious Ragini did not say women have to be ambitious.

    It doesn't make any difference. We are only discussing it as a topic. Like we discuss dowry practice, Aishwarya Rai's pregnancy & baby & baby-name, love vs arranged marriage etc - doesn't make a difference to us, but still we discuss. No one is saying everybody should be ambitious.
    That is exactly what the discussion is about - the woman being dependent on husband to ensure her rights and to ensure that her financial needs are taken care of.
    How hard can it be to understand? yes, at the end of the day it is her life. We are only discussing about the pros and cons of such decisions women take. We are not telling non-working women to get up and go to work pronto or else!!!

    It is only a discussion about women being self-sustaining (able to support herself financially if needed). As part of the discussion, all are expressing what could be the pros and cons of woman working or not working.

    Are you saying this topic itself should not be discussed?
     
    Rihana, Sep 17, 2012
    Rihana, Sep 17, 2012
    #49
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  10. Sep 17, 2012 #50
    Ragini25

    Ragini25 Platinum IL'ite

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    Rihana,
    She is getting defensive. It's ok, I guess some do react that way. Par for the course on an open discussion.
    I guess when girls grow up, they need to be taught self-sufficiency is important from a young age.

    Every adult needs to be productive (be it work or otherwise). Entertainment (TV serials, gossip, hobbies) is ok, but it is entertainment. There needs to be something beyond entertainment and if a grown-up adult cannot be productive in some manner (and there is a wide latitude of types of being productive - I agree) then what is the point of one being an adult!???

    It is good to be inter-dependent, not wholly dependent.
     
    Ragini25, Sep 17, 2012
    Ragini25, Sep 17, 2012
    #50
    3 people like this.
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