Empty Nest

iyerviji · Mar 14, 2018

Once the birds learn to fly the nest becomes empty. Same way when children grow and leave home, the daughters get married and leave to their in law's house,the son's go for higher education or go for a job abroad the parents are left alone.

The parents have to engage themselves in some job so that they will be busy and don't have time to feel sad. My husband keeps himself busy in social work . But sometimes I feel lonely. Everyday is not the same.

The loneliness is felt more after retirement. Usually mother's feel more. They are worried about their children . They are anxious about their children's welfare.Now a days parents are able to keep in contact with their children because of modern technology. Though I spend my time pursuing my hobbies yet sometimes I feel lonely and miss the children.

After retirement couples come close and understand each other well. When one person is missing the other misses. If there is pure love between them then they accept each other whatever difference is there. The quality of time spent together improves day by day.

In our family my brothers and brother in law are in their eighties and have health problems. Me and my sister are in Seventies.My sister is also having health problems but she keeps herself busy and her son and grandchildren are also there. So she does not have time to think of anything. Whereas since my children are far away I feel lost sometimes. I just pray to God that he should gives us good health.

Never blame anyone in your life.Good people give your happiness. Worst people give you a lesson and best people give memories

PushpavalliSrinivasan · Mar 14, 2018

Dear Viji,
After a long time I logged into IL and the first snippet I read was your snippet.
This empty net syndrome affects many people, but a person like you who always keep engaged in some activity doesn't fit into this category.
When our children get settled in life as parents we can keep praying for their welfare. Present generation youngsters who grow up in a good family are capable of taking good care of their family. Hence there is no need for worrying about them.
As your husband is also always engaged in social service God will take care of your family.
Take care and be happy,
Love,
Ps

iyerviji · Mar 14, 2018

Thanks Mami for your first feedback. Glad to get your first feedback which I take it as your asirwadhams.

True I keep myself busy but some days I feel boring and miss my children.

Thanks for your good wishes and sweet message which made my day(QUOTE="PushpavalliSrinivasan, post: 4048641, member: 2211"]Dear Viji,
After a long time I logged into IL and the first snippet I read was your snippet.
This empty net syndrome affects many people, but a person like you who always keep engaged in some activity doesn't fit into this category.
When our children get settled in life as parents we can keep praying for their welfare. Present generation youngsters who grow up in a good family are capable of taking good care of their family. Hence there is no need for worrying about them.
As your husband is also always engaged in social service God will take care of your family.
Take care and be happy,
Love,
Ps[/QUOTE]

GeetaKashyap · Mar 14, 2018

Vijima, I can understand what you feel; I guess this phase is inevitable. Is it not a blessing that you visit IL daily and interact with some nice people?

joylokhi · Mar 14, 2018

Dear viji maami,
I think many of the senior citizens are sailing in the same boat these days. Most times like you, I too see the positives that we are healthy and independant and are able to manage our lives , being occupied with our hobbies , interests and ofcourse the regular house work that is always there. We have plenty of time to relax and take things easy which is very essential after all the running around in the earlier years spent in settling the family. Inspite of all this, loneliness does creep in sometimes . However, we have some or the other festival , occasion coming up and get busy with all that.

MonikaSG · Mar 14, 2018

My brother going abroad tomorrow to settle there. I want to feel good for him but every time end up feeling bad for my parents. Your post at this time touched me a lot. Before his marriage when he went to another city for job then my mother used to cry for him whole day and stopped cooking properly. I told her after many days that I am still with you then she realised and calmed down a bit. That time he used to visit us every month or two but now he will not visit at least for an year. I too cannot stay there for long as I too have to look after my family here. Just praying my parents should get the strength to survive and he should get what he want.

Sinant · Mar 15, 2018

Dear Viji Aunty,
Your post is very honest I can very well understand the phase you are going through. I, being on the other side of it, get thinking about it many times. We have recently made a move to a different country and still contemplate the decision. Just few days back, while talking to my mother-in-law, got to know that they are still expecting a change of mind in our decision. My Mom on the other side, always say that she was the happiest and the saddest person, both at same time, once she got to know of our visa grant

Regards
Sinant

Sunburst · Mar 15, 2018

I feel for you vijima. I think many senior citizens feel this way . My parents are super busy with their work and always travelling all over but still once in a while my mom feels lonely as none of us are with her . It’s alright to feel this way once in a while but also very important to keep mind busy and pursue something that you missed out on while raising your kids and not dwell on such thoughts for too long .

Brevity · Mar 15, 2018

Your quote "Never blame anyone in your life.Good people give your happiness. Worst people give you a lesson and best people give memories" is a worthy philosophy to remember when we are hurt by others. Thanks for your pearls of wisdom.

Viswamitra · Mar 15, 2018

Dear Vijiakka,

As parents, we all worked so hard to make our children disciplined and successful but when they leave to pursue their goals, we feel sad. It is some sort of a conflict. I guess we need to assume we have inculcated a habit of making the children disciplined and successful in them so that they could make their children even better. As far as our children are concerned, giving them love, teaching them character and knowledge that they could pursue their goals if they apply their minds systematically are all our duties.

Our prayers for them to have fun in life and for not give them any trouble at our old age are the only things we can do at this age. Keep our mind agile always and apply it for some good cause makes life easier. Your husband has set a great example for all of us to follow.

Viswa