Emotional Meltdown At Work: Professional?

Discussion in 'Working Women' started by Naari, Apr 6, 2018.

  1. justanothergirl

    justanothergirl IL Hall of Fame

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    There are just so many red flags in this post .
    People are entitled to their vacation time and as long as they let u know in advance its not "wrong" to take time off during peak season and its best not to label them as slackers.
    Spring/school breaks /sick kids ...all happen . None of which need to shared with the manager. I haven't in my nearly 2 decades of work here ever said more than "need to take time off " to my manager. As a people manager neither have I expected it.
    Its their right to take a break and its my job to work around the resourcing and scheduling.
    If a company needs to stretch the entire team to work 10 hrs on a predictable schedule then either u are understaffed or not planning enough . It not the employees problem.
     
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  2. Naari

    Naari Platinum IL'ite

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    Really? Sick kids & spring break both in same category? no kidding! You are better than that JAG, you have given me great advice before.

    That seems pretty entitled. Wherever did professionalism go? And one may not bother to explain it. But in the long run such badly timed leaves/ vacations only make one seem unreliable and possibly not one to count on in times of need. I say this based on ppl's attitude to work too.

    Ours is a profession where work loads are not evenly spread out nor can they be accurately estimated. It just depends on new engagements and new clients. This is an ongoing engagement and ppl have been told to put off their vacations till this gets done. And its not unreasonable since this is the nature of profession. It's pretty flexible after that or during slow times.
     
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  3. justanothergirl

    justanothergirl IL Hall of Fame

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    I will let comment that pass.
    To ur question yes. As a working mom of kids I have found spring /winter/summer breaks one of the toughest things to work around. Most camps are either overpriced or glorified play dates. In my area its esp challenging to even get into one given the density and the sheer number of working moms. So when my kids were little I have many times simply had no choice.
    What is the incentive that u as management provided for employees to give up their vacation? School publishes a schedule at the beginning of the year. That must have been around Aug/sep of 2017. No it cannot be changed because ur management said put off vacations. Asking people to put their life on hold to work around client issues is unprofessional.
    Naari let me put it bluntly..its a free market. People get hired because a company needs their skills . They are at work cos they need to pay bills and possibly a decent career. No one does any one any favor. They work on their terms and the company management has theirs. If things do not match they part ways. Its that simple.
    Every profession has its challenges. A good leader rallies his or her troops. I have worked for some the finest for whom I have give up my sleep and food even stayed far from my babies for weeks because things needed to get done. I have had people who have worked for me who have done that and would do that even now in a heartbeat . But the way to instill that kind of loyalty is hard work. Its takes years and a lot of grooming and as with any relationship u need to give a lot in the beginning before u even expect anything in return. We have veered significantly from the topic ....before I leave just wanted to add..women break down at work more often than men for a reason. Most women are also primary care takers at home . Its an enormous burden to carry and one should not be penalized for it. Workplaces need to work for women. They have come a long way ..but we not there yet.
     
    Last edited: Apr 7, 2018
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  4. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Maybe not guilt, just worry about how it will look taking off on vacation while others are putting in longer hours at a crucial time. Even if vacation has been approved long ago, an employee can worry about being away at such a time.
     
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  5. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    I am surprised to read this. There are also men who are primary earners for their family. Men who are under pressure due to visa/immigration issues. Divorced men who lose their home and are giving a hefty part of paycheck towards child support. Older employees facing age discrimination.

    If we want to be more accommodating of the occasional breakdown from employees, let's be so for both genders and for more reasons beyond women being primary care taker.
     
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  6. Sunburst

    Sunburst Platinum IL'ite

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    I agree with jag and jskls. Why are employees made to feel guilty to take vacations ? That is so wrong at all levels and speaks very poorly of the management. And her vacation has been approved long before so its not like she is running away at the last minute leaving everyone in a lurch. If the management had issues before, they should have denied it long back or figure out ways to find enough resources in her absence. IMHO, people management to me is much harder than doing hands on work but we need to figure out ways to motivate our subordinates , not make them feel guilty of anything. That's one essential skill that a good mentor/leader should have.
    I have worked for some amazing startups before with "generous unlimited leave policy" . They would assure us that we can take vacations whenever we wanted, how long we wanted, no questions asked. Reality was every time I tried taking one, they would come up some random excuse like not the right time, we are in the middle of a crucial project, we are getting some huge funding now, blah blah. I have had to let go of so many vacations because there was never a right time. This in spite of several weeks of notice in advance. I am sure the management must be feeling so guilty of doing that right?

    Most of us are overworked anyway. Having a 9-5 job doesn't mean we shut our laptop at home. We are on emails, issues, calls, next day prep even when the kids are put to sleep . Management doesn't pay us for that so they don't have the right to make us feel guilty for our time off.

    In her case, she could be overwhelmed due to reasons know to her. Let's not read too much in between the lines by attributing it to her vacation time. Meltdown can happen anywhere and I don't see a big deal if it was between you and her in a private space and not in front of the whole team or a meeting. If it's a one time thing and not a regular behavior , let it go.
     
  7. GoneGirl

    GoneGirl Gold IL'ite

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    I believe an occasional meltdown shouldn’t be viewed for more than what it is, a moment of weakness or feeling of being overwhelmed by things happening at that point..could be any number of things, in personal and professional life. I personally wouldn’t view that as unprofessional, unless this was a recurring thing to get out of obligations or excuse for incompete tasks.

    I am lucky to have had worked with some amazing senior folks, who have cheered me up on my occasional days when I felt low by bringing me a cup of coffee , motivating me and reinforcing my past accomplishments..these small gestures have made me give back much more than expected of me.

    Not sure how the vacation thing works in your office, but if it was pre-approved then I dont see a problem with that. Maybe the spouse was relying on her to take care of kids during spring break, and by not taking that vacation she may have to face a lot of problems at home.. Between dealing with an unhappy spouse vs unhappy colleagues, the latter is probably easier to deal with.
     
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  8. Naari

    Naari Platinum IL'ite

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    Let me clarify and get one major point across, this wasn’t a pre-approved leave before the engagement started or months in advance. It was thrown as a bomb during the course of the engagement. I have a much younger kid than her kids & yet I make no excuses for being away because I can’t find a spring break camp or daycare. Right when the engagement started, I made arrangements for her spring break care. If there is a will, there is a way. If one wants to excuse themselves from work & find ways to exonerate themselves, then their will works in that direction. But then that’s not being professional in my humble view. I beg to differ.

    "What is the incentive that u as management provided for employees to give up their vacation?"

    Flexibility and ability to take paid time off as they wish to and when they wish in slow times. This is the biggest incentive for a working mom. One can't have the cake and eat it too!! Meaning they can't be flexible during slow times and also take off during busy periods (& we are not talking about pre-approved vacations taken months in advance please). This I call "double dipping".

    Sorry, don't agree. On one side we argue about equality and arguments for no discriminatory compensation for women. Then on the other side we contend / fight for partially favorable treatment for women because we have other responsibilities. Let's decide what we want first. Again one can't ask for equality and play the mom-responsibility card at the same time.
     
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  9. Naari

    Naari Platinum IL'ite

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    Also how come we have a different view here from the thread by sanjuruby3 on her leaving for vacation in the middle of an engagement?:confundio1:
     
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  10. Sandycandy

    Sandycandy IL Hall of Fame

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    Kitne badam khaati ho ? Good memory !

     
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