Emotional Meltdown At Work: Professional?

Discussion in 'Working Women' started by Naari, Apr 6, 2018.

  1. Naari

    Naari Platinum IL'ite

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    Hello ILs,

    I am back with a question. Again a people management question and on the topic of appropriateness of showing emotions at work.

    A lady from my team had an emotional meltdown today when I went to her with a work status related question. She is a shared resource & I assign work to her along with her handling other team’s work too. She started crying & stated that she is just too overwhelmed. I started to console her & assured her that she was doing well and told her she could take her time. Now not sure what was going on with her, but she is off to a vacation shortly at our very busy work time right now. So, possibly she is guilty & playing with too many thoughts in her head which caused her to have a meltdown? Not sure

    But I started to think in my head whether I should assign anymore work to her & had to adjust and assign the work to others.

    Led me to think, should people esp women (because I haven’t seen men have meltdowns at work) be in better control of their emotions at work? I know all of us are humans & can have a lot to handle personally & professionally sometimes, but is it professional to let go of our emotions at workplace??

    I personally think it’s unprofessional to show your emotions or cry ever at work as:

    1. It can reflect badly on your ability to handle work and pressure in general;
    2. It’s kind of an emotional blackmail to your manager/boss, leading them to have to reassign / make accommodations for you and that’s not fair to other team members who take their share of work load sportingly;
    3. It’s showing your weakness to others, would never do that.

    What are your thoughts on this issue?
     
    Last edited: Apr 6, 2018
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  2. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Losing control of our emotions in a meeting or during a two people conversation can happen. Best would be if the person excuses herself, is allowed to excuse herself, goes away for some time (an hour or so, not time-off), composes herself, and verbally or by other means, lets those involved know that she "regrets the meltdown, has had time to reflect upon it, all izz well, and thanks for understanding."

    Yes, can reflect very badly. One such meltdown can undo many other times when you performed well under pressure.

    This is the manager's problem. If manager does not know how to handle meltdowns, training is needed. Yes, it often ends up being temporarily not fair to other team members, but they can highlight their extra work in performance review or at other times when needed.
    Very true. Show others your human side, not your weakness.

    Women cry. Men get belligerent, or plain simple unproductive and uncooperative and have to be placed on probation.

    Nice topic for a thread in this Working Women section.
     
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  3. Sandycandy

    Sandycandy IL Hall of Fame

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    I have had a six foot man try to punch a hole in the wall at work! So tears seem totally manageable.
    Working with emotionally sensitive people can get a little draining but that’s life isn’t it. Not everyone can handle stress well.
     
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  4. nuss

    nuss Platinum IL'ite

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    I have dealt with both men and women crying at work. Usually due to stress, sometimes because they made a mistake and felt bad. Most of my cry babies are undergraduate (in 20s and 30s) but there have been graduate students, postdocs, and even a colleague. I am not very good at handling cries. I usually let the person talk, offer tissue and a cup of tea.
    It is not professional but things happen. You never know what is going on in someone’s personal life so I won’t really read too much into one incidence.
     
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  5. cheenu123

    cheenu123 Gold IL'ite

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    I have had a meltdown myself when I was undergoing divorce. However, I felt very guilty after that. Meltdowns make you look vulnerable and people might start taking advantage of that.
     
  6. Anisu

    Anisu Platinum IL'ite

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    I am an emotional person. I get disturbed and take things personally at times. Initial days of my career, i did cry in a meeting for not recognizing the genuine efforts put in.
    Later i realized how wrong i was. Crying definitely displays our weakeness. Never again i have done that. At least not in front of the Manager. Lot of times it so happens that the reason may not be work related at all. Just a emotional breakdown.
    But you would never know how it is perceived by the other person. It is definitely not professional approach.
     
  7. Amica

    Amica IL Hall of Fame

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    Aiyo! I've never seen someone breaking down at work. It has to be embarrassing and several shades of awkward. On the spot, I guess I would offer tea and privacy. Buy an extra box of Kleenex maybe? :p

    Your subordinate may be overwhelmed by competing deadlines from her two managers. Do you and the other team leader coordinate projects and deadlines? Does this subordinate have a good relationship with both managers and does she communicate scheduling conflicts with either or both of you?

    OTOH, she hasn't said what she's overwhelmed by. It could be a personal issue or an attempt at manipulation. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
    .
     
  8. jskls

    jskls IL Hall of Fame

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    Emotional meltdown is not professional but as others said we don’t know what’s going on personally in their lives.

    In my workplace one employee has had emotional meltdown under stress and she was expecting at that time .. and the same person when going through a personal crisis had clearly mentioned I welcome talks about all good things in my life but not about my challenges... so maybe she realized her weakness and tried to draw a line even before some talks could pop.
    this one bothers me.

    Usually planned vacations means she would have got approval earlier and it would have been earned. Why assume that possibly she is guilty of her vacation timing?
     
    Last edited: Apr 7, 2018
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  9. justanothergirl

    justanothergirl IL Hall of Fame

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    +1. If that were indeed true and the employee is feeling /made to feel guilty about taking time off ..then I am not surprised there has been a meltdown and there needs to be an overall improvement in the office culture.
     
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  10. Naari

    Naari Platinum IL'ite

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    Nope, not planned. It was expected to be this busy for these months & most ppl are responsible enough to plan their vacation/leave after the end of busy period. The leave is for spring break when rest of the office is going to toil for 10+ hours per day. Sometimes when there is no unavoidable personal reason to take off & ppl still do it, it would be safe to say it’s an attempt to avoid working harder or ducking out during busy periods. And such ppl always know at the back of their heads that what they are about to do is unreasonable & at the cost of others, hence the guilt.
     
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